Reality is Sweeter
by My-Bella
Summary: Picking up a few months after the end of Year Two, Bella and Edward finally have their wedding. Sweet & fluffy with an "M" rating just to be safe.
1. Winter Wonderland

**It all belongs to SM. ** I am lucky to dabble with them.

Hello!!! I'm back! LOL I've been working hard on writing my own characters, but needed a little break to regroup before going back to the writing board. I always have a couple of side stories to go to for this purpose, and this is one of them. It starts a few months after Year Two ended, with the wedding Bella wants – snow and all.

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**Winter Wonderland**

**Bella's POV:**

A fluttering softness that barely lasted a second before turning to water on my overheated cheeks—that was what it felt like to have the snow falling gently all around me, making the yard as white as the wedding dress I would wear in just two days.

If Alice caught me out here right now, she'd have a fit, but I needed this moment. I needed to be alone with my thoughts and to get past the embarrassment Rosalie's comments had left me with. I knew in my heart she hadn't meant to hurt my feelings, or to send me off into the backyard, but that was exactly what had happened. Alice was probably doing that low speech hissing thing right now to keep me from hearing her yelling at _her_ sister.

As much as I wanted to use "our", it wasn't time yet. It had taken me a few weeks to get past everything I had dreamed and to accept the reality, but I had come to see that it was for the best. That dream had been spectacular in so many ways, and now it was my road map, my guide. It would hopefully keep me far away from the many mistakes I'd managed to make in a made up world, and help to accomplish the things I'd loved most—like having close relationships with Rosalie and Jasper.

But there was a time for everything and today was not that day for Rose and me. It would come soon and when it did, it would be so much better than any dream my brain could conjure up. In the meantime, I would just have to deal with her personality "quirks" where I was concerned.

I held out my hand and caught a few snowflakes in it, smiling as I watched the delicate white disappear and leave a thin mist on my skin. There had been a time in my life when I'd said that I didn't like "any cold, wet thing", but those days had long since passed. Well, at least for the cold part. There were times when being wet was acceptable to me, like during a shower, but usually, I preferred dry. I chuckled at the way my mind could wander as I knelt down, drawing random designs in the snow that was now covering the deck of the back porch.

"What are you doing, Love?" Edward asked, startling me and sending me backwards to fall rather unceremoniously on my butt. He chuckled as he held out a hand to me. "Sorry."

"You aren't in the least, but that's okay, I guess." I smiled at him as he helped me up and smiled even wider when he wrapped his arms tightly around me. I'd been so worried he would be overprotective beyond my wildest dreams after I'd woken up in the hospital, but to my delight, he'd been … well, he'd been perfect. He made sure I ate, drank, and rested enough, but he also was teasing and playful with me. He was actually _enjoying_ our days together instead of fretting over my health and safety every second of the day.

"What are you doing outside all by yourself?" he asked as he sat on the steps and settled me into his lap. "Isn't tonight your bonding night with the girls?"

"It is, but I'm just … taking a break," I replied cautiously. He might be teasing and playful with me, but when it came to anyone making me unhappy, he was the same easily angered Edward.

To my great and pleasant surprise, he didn't ask me any more questions about my wandering outside alone. Instead, he changed the subject completely. "I know that you're spending the night with my sisters, but I was hoping you'd be up to sneaking away for an hour. There's something I would love to show you."

"As long as you won't get in trouble for it from Alice," I said, meaning it completely. The last thing I wanted was the two of them at odds days before the wedding. Their sibling fighting had reached a new high lately because while Edward had backed down and relaxed, Alice had traded places with him and become insane with the need to protect me from everything she deemed hazardous to my health. The little pixie had even gone so far as to attempt to put me on a healthy diet. She had _not_ found it funny when I'd told her she would have to pry my cheese stuffed pizza from my cold, dead hands.

"Alice knows what I'm planning and has no objections since I've promised to keep you wrapped in a blanket the entire time."

I chuckled at that and kissed his cheek. "Then let's go see whatever this surprise is."

"I would just like to say once again, Love, that I am very much enjoying your aversion to surprises being nearly completely gone."

"Only until the wedding. As soon as you are pronounced my husband, the spoiling stops unless it's a major holiday. And declaring it 'Edward Loves Bella Day' will not work, Mister Cullen."

"You swear you can't read my mind, Ms. Swan?" he chuckled, touching his forehead to mine. His eyes were such a soft golden color from all of the extra hunting he'd been doing this week—a precaution for our human guests. They reminded me of the buttercups Esme had growing in her little greenhouse behind the garage.

Edward's voice drew my wandering mind back to him. "I love you, Bella. There's nothing I want more than to spend forever with you."

I was able to ignore the urge to laugh, but not to tease. "You spoil me with your flattery, Sir."

Edward shook his head, sending a lock of his bronze hair down over one eye and I couldn't resist reaching up and pushing it away. He gently took my wrist into his hand and kissed the pulse point there, his smile never wavering. "While Flattery may not always be truth, Truth can never be simple flattery. So if these lips say you are a star among candles, know that Truth has been spoken and Flattery cast aside."

"If you're going to show her, then get a move on and stop being cheesy!" Alice demanded. I lifted my head up toward the sound of her voice and found her leaning out of one of the upstairs windows. She was going for a look of irritation, but failing miserably with the way her lips kept twitching.

"Don't be jealous, Ali," Edward said as he wrapped a blanket tightly around me. "Green is not your most flattering color," he taunted seconds before lifting me bridal style and dashing off into the woods with me laughing the whole time.

But the laughter seemed loud in the quiet of the forest so I stopped and cuddled closer to Edward, enjoying the ride. I could only hear our breathing as he moved us through the trees and I wondered how much more Edward could hear. Of course, that led me to imagine what I might hear once I was turned and to the many other questions I had about my change.

Edward has promised he would do it after the wedding. We would leave that night to travel to the home in Alaska that Esme had purchased—nothing like the home in my dream, but still gorgeous—and the family would all join us the next morning. Carlisle and Edward would spend the day preparing and that night, I would begin the process of truly becoming a Cullen.

Edward's sudden stillness woke me from my imaginings and I took a long look at our surroundings. I wasn't great at directions to being with so to have everything covered in snow made it impossible for me to know if I'd ever been here before.

Edward's face, made paler by the moonlight, seemed to be searching for something as his eyes roamed across the rock wall we were standing near. Before I could ask what he was looking for, he gave a breathtaking smile—and with Edward, it really did leave me breathless.

"Bella, breathe," he chuckled, nuzzling my cheek with the tip of his nose. "And when you're ready, wrap your arms around my neck and hold tightly to me. We're going up and I think you'd feel better about it if you were holding on."

"Sure, sure," I agreed quickly, putting my arms around his solid neck and pressing my face into the coldness there. Up was not a favorite direction of mine. Then again, neither was down. Just one more reason to look forward to the end of my human disabilities.

Edward's arms tightened around me just moments before the air around us changed, coming fast and feeling colder. That lasted for just a few seconds and then I found myself in Edward's lap with the blanket secured once more around me.

But since I was content to keep enjoying the feeling and scent of being this close to Edward, I didn't bother moving at all or even opening my eyes. He seemed to be just as content because he held me and placed random kisses in my hair for quite awhile before asking me to open my eyes.

When I did open them, I couldn't help but gasp at the beauty surrounding us. We were sitting together on an outcropping of rocks and the snow was falling softly, blanketing everything. From this view, it seemed as if the flakes were coming down from the very stars in the sky and I felt an overwhelming sense of joy that Edward would share this with me. Lately, he'd been sharing so much with me, things he'd done a million times in his long life—he said sharing them with me made them feel like they were brand new experiences. I appreciated his attempts to be more open, though he was still reluctant to tell me much about his life before me. It had been Rosalie of all people that had finally explained his hesitance to me.

"_Bella, why do you think Edward doesn't talk to you about his past?" Rosalie asked, startling me and causing me to drop the book I'd been reading. My human ears had never heard her enter the bedroom Edward and I shared._

"_I honestly don't know," I replied, picking the book up from the floor while managing to not take my eyes off of her. We were getting along much better, but it still wasn't that great. Rosalie tended to have wicked mood swings where I was concerned, one moment attempting to be nice and the next looking ready to kill me for wanting to become a vampire._

_She sat down at the edge of the bed, tossing her golden hair behind her shoulders and then lifting a hand to check her nails—they were perfect as usual. She lifted her golden eyes just enough for me to see that her attention was now on me and then she spoke. "It frustrates him."_

_I could feel my face scrunching up with my confusion. "My asking about his past?"_

"_No," Rose replied, lifting her head and really looking at me. "It frustrates him that he has nothing to tell. He doesn't remember his human life, and he's afraid the few things he does recall are only his imagination. Of course, he could tell you all about this version of life he's been living the last century, but Edward is still afraid it will warp your fragile little mind."_

_I wasn't sure if she was picking at me on purpose or not, but either way, I wasn't going to let it go. "Many things about me are fragile, but my mind is definitely not one of them."_

_Rose's lips pulled up into a smirk and her golden eyes flashed with something I couldn't decipher. "How are your efforts going to write down the details of your life so you don't forget?"_

"_Fine, I guess," I said with a shrug._

"_And the new laptop?" she pressed. She was definitely goading me now._

_I released my annoyance through a sigh before answering. "The laptop is fine. Over the top as most of Edward's gifts to me are, but a very nice laptop all the same."_

"_If you ever need help with it," she said, trailing off at the end. And there was the mood swing back to attempting to be nice._

"_That would be great, Rosalie. I haven't wanted to ask Edward or Alice since they tend to talk over my head when it comes to electronics, especially expensive ones."_

"_You'll get used to it," Rose chuckled. And then her smile turned sad and her eyes softened. "You'll have more time than you can possibly imagine."_

Edward's velvet voice in my ear called me back to the present. "Bella, are you still warm?"

"Yes, thank you," I whispered back. It just seemed wrong to be loud here. I peered down from the safety of Edward's strong arms, to the snow covered ground below. I could just make out the edges of a small frozen pond; a few more inches of snow and it would be covered completely. The entire landscape was so beautiful, sparkling softly beneath the starlight and the small sliver of moon that was visible.

Cool breath flowed over my ear once more. "What are you thinking?"

I smiled at just how many times he'd asked me this simple question. And while my answers weren't always so simple or short, he seemed to enjoy every one of them. "I'm thinking this is beautiful and I'm extremely happy that you shared this with me," I answered.

"There are so many things I want to share with you, Bella. There's a world out there, even more amazing than what your books have described. I want to show you everything that I know. And after that, we can learn new things together."

"Are you nervous at all?"

He didn't ask for clarification or pretend he didn't know what I was asking like he would have before. He answered me straight away and I could hear in his voice and feel in the tightening of his arms around me that he was being completely open and honest. "Extremely so, but only because it's something I've never done before. This is not a selfish act on my part, but a gift to both of us. I can see that now and I welcome it. And I will do everything I can to make it as painless as possible."

"I'm sure it helps that I've given up my request."

He chuckled and kissed the back of my head. "Yes, it's much easier to be accepting when I know it will be under controlled circumstances and not in the heat of the moment." Then he sighed deeply and I knew what was coming before he even opened his mouth. "Bella…Are you sure about all of this?"

I turned so that I could see his face and he could see the honesty and confidence in mine. "In two days time, I will be Mrs. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and there is nothing I want more. I don't want it because I dreamed of it. I don't want it because you want it. I don't even want it as a way to not disappoint Alice or to give my parents closure. I simply want it because I love you with everything I am and I want the world to know that I belong to you and only you. Forever. My dream gave me a maturity towards our relationship that I was sorely lacking before, but it hasn't influenced my desire to be with you at all. I already wanted that more than life itself."

He smiled and kissed my lips so tenderly, warming me better than any heater ever could. "All that I have seen in this world and yet it's this small slip of a human that amazes me time and time again."

"That's right, Cullen," I joked, grinning at him. "I was created just for you, complete with the ability to entertain, whether it be through a clumsy moment or a cheesy expression."

"I don't think you're cheesy at all," he breathed, sending his sweet scent swirling all around my head.

I smiled goofily, unable to form a response, and Edward predictably enough chuckled at his ability to dazzle me senseless.

"Come, my silly Bella. I have to get you home before Alice becomes annoyed with me. And I've also heard that Esme plans to have a cup of hot chocolate drenched in marshmallows and a grilled cheese sandwich waiting for you when we return."

As if it had just been waiting for its cue, my stomach gave out a loud grumble. "You would think that since I'm not very big, it would be impossible for me to make these sorts of sounds," I said as Edward rushed me back toward the Cullen home. "Then again, if my stomach can reach such auditory heights, it makes me wonder exactly what Emmett's would have been like when he was alive. I'd ask him, but he'd probably just embellish it and tell me that it sounded like a grizzly bear just waking from hibernation."

Edward laughed and it was a beautiful sound—free and relaxed. "I'm sure you're right about that, Love."

As we reached the back porch, he gently set me on my feet and I took one more look around, marveling at how the snow had transformed an average yard into a winter wonderland. I could only hope it looked this beautiful in two days time when I stood out here and married the love of my life—scratch that—my _existence_.

Edward's voice filled my ear, sending a ripple down my spine and making me wonder once again if he couldn't sometimes read my mind. "It will be perfect, Love. A beautiful wedding for my beautiful bride."


	2. Can I Compare?

**It all belongs to SM. ** I am lucky to dabble with them.

Happy Saturday, Everyone!! I thought we could use a little Edward POV today, so that's just what I put together for all of you. This chapter is a little shorter than the first, but that's only because the next chapter has some really great goodies in it. It's not finished yet, but it's looking great so far -- the girls steal Bella and the guys take Edward out for the day. Fun stuff, especially with Em around! But that's next Saturday. For this one, enjoy some sweet Edward ...

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**Can I Compare?**

**Edward's POV:**

Can a man compare to a dream? Can _I_ compare? Even with my "dazzling" skills, as Bella calls them, can I ever match up to the husband she dreamed of for months?

She has told me many times that she doesn't care about the dream because the reality is sweeter for her. Jasper assures me she has been completely honest in these moments and has not been trying to appease my worries … But still I wonder.

It was easier when I only had to live up to Romeo's standard. He'd done so many things wrong that I was sure I could never screw up as badly as he had. I'd been a fool to think I knew everything just because I'd been walking the Earth for more days than Bella could imagine, and I'd made Romeo's mistakes look like grand gestures of love compared to the havoc I'd wrought on our lives.

When Bella had forgiven me on our return from Italy, accepting me completely with all of my many flaws, I'd thought I was in the clear from high standards I could never meet. And then she'd spent months in a coma, dreaming of an Edward who was always romantic, who knew all the right things to say, and all the right ways to touch her heart and her body. Now, she was awake and left with me, a vampire who felt increasingly more like an inexperienced seventeen-year-old than a century old man.

"I know that crease," Bella whispered as she lifted herself up on her elbow in the early morning light.

I smiled and tucked a lock of her hair behind her delicate ear. I'd been hoping she would wake on her own; I hated to disturb her when she was actually sleeping peacefully. Those times were growing more frequent, but she still had her nights when she woke in cold sweats, dreaming of the Volturi attacking us. We were all doing our best to assure her that would never happen, and she had finally stopped asking Alice to check on them every day, though I could tell she still worried over it.

"How can you know the meaning of a crease?" I questioned.

"I observe," she smirked. "When it's high up here on your forehead, you're worrying over some piece of music that's giving you trouble," she explained as she trailed her fingertip over my skin. Her warmth burned a trail across my forehead, leaving me wanting more of her touch.

"When it's settled right above your eyebrows, making it seem like your entire forehead is frowning, you're worried for someone you love," she said, ghosting her fingers over my eyebrows. "Usually me," she added with a small smile.

"And when it's right here in the middle of your forehead, with this tiny line above it, you are over-thinking something." This time, she used her lips, kissing the entire length of the line. "And with the wedding only one day away, I would bet you're fretting over my coma dream again."

I pulled her into my arms, touching my forehead to hers and staring right into the chocolate eyes that always opened her heart to me, even when her words couldn't. "I can't help but to be concerned. I never want you to have regrets and I can't see a way that I can measure up to him."

Love and amusement filled those deep brown orbs and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what she found amusing about all of this. But instead of saying anything, I waited patiently, knowing she would explain herself.

Her hand tenderly caressed my cheek, her eyes never leaving my face. "My silly vampire. You are _him_. No, I take that back. You're _better_ than him. He could only love me in the ways that _I_ could imagine. But _you_, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen … You love me with your whole heart and soul. As much as we've been through, it's still only been a short time so I know I've only seen a small amount of the love you're capable of showering me with. I know there is so much more to come and I'm excited to experience it all. I have never, and I will never, compare you to the man I dreamed about. So for both of our sakes, please stop comparing your own self."

I couldn't help the smile that took over my face, nor would I be able to remove it or stop Emmett from teasing me about it, but I didn't care. She loved me just as I was, for better or worse, and that was something I'd never dared to hope was possible.

"Feeling better?" she chuckled as she tilted her chin up and brushed her lips to mine.

"Much," I agreed before giving her a real kiss. Spending these last few months with her waking in my bed, in my arms, had been indescribable. She'd been right to insist that we spend every moment together, not wasting any or taking them for granted. Charlie had not exactly agreed with that thought, but he'd been so happy to have Bella back that he'd barely put up a fight over it. And since we visited him nearly every single day, he didn't think he had anything to complain about.

That would change soon, though. We were moving to Alaska right after the wedding for Bella's change and to help her through her first year. She had been as honest as she could be with Charlie, telling him that she was taking the year off to experience life and would attend college a year later than she had originally planned. I wasn't sure if she'd actually be ready that soon, but since she was constantly surprising me, I chose not to worry about it until we came to that bridge. The calming effect that this woman had on me was amazing and surpassed Jasper's powers. I was so happy to have her back that I could rarely be annoyed these days, much to Emmett's chagrin. Though, I had to give him credit for never giving up.

Bella's hand running through my hair brought my attention back to her. "So, Chef Cullen, what's on the menu for my breakfast this morning? And keep in mind that if the word 'healthy' or 'Alice' ends up in your sentence, you will have a very perturbed fiancee on your hands."

I chuckled at her annoyance over Alice's attempts to force Bella onto a health food regiment, and kissed her nose softly. "I was thinking blueberry crepes would make your taste buds happy."

"They're practically singing right now," she chuckled.

"I'll go down and prepare them while you get ready for our day."

"What are our plans?"

I wanted to keep her surprise a secret for a little longer, so I gave a generic answer. "We have nearly the whole day to ourselves until tonight when our guests arrive for the rehearsal dinner. Esme is very excited to show off her cooking skills and Emmett is quite proud of his assistant position."

"As long as Emmett won't be saying 'hello' while waiving a large knife like he did to me."

"No," I chuckled. "And I also promise that Rose will not break any salad bowls this time."

"I feel so awful that you're all going to have to eat tonight," she sighed, remorse filling her beautiful brown eyes.

"Don't, Bella. It's necessary and not all that bad. Besides, we have enough tricks that we won't have to swallow much of it at all."

"Well, I still feel badly and I'm telling you right now that I'm going to be at your side, taking care of you for the whole time your sick."

"My own private nurse," I teased as I kissed behind her ear. "I like the sound of that."

"Don't get too excited there. It doesn't come with costumes or promises of rewards."

"Having you with me is reward enough, Love."

Bella's eyes filled with amusement as she valiantly fought the urge to laugh. But the need was too strong and the damn burst wide open, sending her peeling laughter ringing through the house.

'_What's Edward done this time?'_ Rose mused. '_I'm sure it's something pathetically sweet.'_

'_Damn, I didn't know little Bella could be that loud.'_ Even Emmett's thoughts had a chuckle to them.

Jasper's thoughts were merely a confirmation of what I already knew. '_Whatever you said, she's highly amused._'

'_Careful, Edward,_" Alice cautioned. "_She'll roll off the bed in her fit if you don't keep an arm around her waist._'

'_Oh, lovely! Bella's awake!_' Esme gushed. Only my mother could gush as much with her thoughts as in person. '_Edward, are you bringing her down soon?_'

There were no thoughts from my father since Carlisle had left for the hospital an hour ago, and our guest this morning couldn't possibly hear Bella's laughter from the kitchen.

I playfully growled against Bella's neck as I pulled her closer. "Did you hear what happened to the little human who laughed at the vampire?" I asked. Never in my life would I have believed for a second that I would one day make jokes like this, but here I was doing it for Bella and enjoying it with her.

"No," Bella snorted. "But if he was half as silly as you are, then she probably just laughed herself to death."

"She never got the chance," I said, forcing myself to sound solemn. And then I lifted her from the bed quickly, making her squeal. "He got his revenge by taking her downstairs with her haystack hair on display for all to see and she died of embarrassment."

"Is that the best you got, Cullen?" she chuckled as she wrapped her arms around my neck. "My unruly hair has made its presence known around here enough times that I don't even blush about it anymore."

"And here I'd thought you'd never grow out of that blush," Renee chuckled as I set Bella down in the kitchen.

"Mom!" she squealed as she ran to her mother. "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't getting in until late tonight!" Bella was so excited she was actually jumping up and down as she hugged her mother.

Renee pulled back enough to get her hands up, using them to smooth down Bella's hair. "Edward thought it might be a good idea for Phil and me to take an earlier flight and get in a little extra time with you."

"I'm so happy to see you," Bella sighed as she hugged her mother tightly once again. She looked at me with love and adoration in her eyes, mouthing a "thank you" to me.

Bumping up the flight had been a small gesture on my part, but carried enormous weight and meaning for Bella. She'd wanted extra time with her mother but had been too worried of hurting anyone's feelings to ask. So I'd given it to her, knowing it would please her and make her happy. While I might not be able to compare to the man she had spent so much time dreaming of, I _would_ be the one to make her reality perfect, starting with everything about this wedding.

"Mom, I'm so glad you're here," Bella said as they sat together at the table, still holding hands. "Maybe you can help rein Alice in just a tiny bit."

"Oh, no," Renee laughed. "There's no calming that girl." '_You'd think it was her own wedding_,' she finished with her thoughts.

"Bella," Alice pouted, barely moving slow enough to be considered normal. "Please say you're only pretending."

"Bella, lie if you have to," Rose begged as she sauntered into the room. "Alice is becoming increasingly more unbearable as she counts down the _seconds_ before the wedding."

I chuckled at my sisters, pleased to see Rose making an effort with Bella. I knew they were a long way from where Bella desired, but it was getting a little better with each passing day. Bella's adamant refusal to allow Rose to sit out of the wedding planning had been just the thing Rose needed to take Bella seriously about them having a better relationship.

"Good morning, Edward," Esme whispered as she kissed my cheek. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Nervous and excited, the same as yesterday," I chuckled, pulling out the things I would need to make breakfast for Bella and her mother.

"Tomorrow night the two of you will be married," she sighed with a huge smile on her face. "I'm so very happy for both of you."

"I just hope the weather holds out the way Bella wants it to."

"I'm sure it will all be perfect. Oh, and your father wanted me to tell you that the outdoor heaters will be delivered today at three o'clock. Please make sure someone is home to sign for them."

"Why? Where will you be?"

"Renee is going to take my car and spend the morning with Bella before joining your sisters and me in Port Angeles for lunch."

"You're stealing my fiancée away for the day?" I asked, lifting an eyebrow at my mother. That had not been mentioned to me previously and I hated being left in the dark on anything concerning Bella.

"Not stealing, Dear," Esme chuckled as she pressed her palm to my cheek. "Merely borrowing. And we promise to return her to you in plenty of time for tonight's rehearsal dinner. Besides you will be busy with _other_ plans today."

I didn't like the sound of her "other" at all, and my suspicions grew immediately when she started to recite the history of the blue rose. Esme had grown a batch in the greenhouse specifically for Bella to carry in her bouquet tomorrow night, and in order to make sure they came out perfectly, my mother had read everything she could get her hands on in regards to the delicate flower.

"Well, I'll just leave you to make breakfast while I join the girls in their chatter," Esme said before rushing off to join the others.

I surveyed each of the women at the table and then stared hard at Alice until she lifted her face toward me. I pointed the whisk in my hand at her, not needing to use actual words to get my warning across to my sister. Alice's response was to smirk and jump right back into the conversation she'd been having with Renee. My family was once again up to no good. If I hadn't been so positive it was all meant to make Bella happy, I would have tried to find out exactly what was going on. But since I knew my family only had the best of intentions, I focused on cooking breakfast for my love.

I would only get to make her a few more meals before she'd never have a need for food again. I waited for guilt, remorse, or horror to fill my heart, but the only emotion there was excitement. Excitement for the future that lay ahead of us and the opportunity for me to finally hold Bella the way I'd always wanted to—to show her with my touch how much I loved and desired her. Very soon she would truly be _my_ Bella in every way possible and I was ready for it now.

'_Edward, as soon as you're done with Bells' breakfast, get your prude ass ready to go,'_ Emmett demanded, making his thought extremely loud in my head. '_There's an entire women-free morning ahead of us and I'm ready to get started._'

While I might be ready for tomorrow and the three days that would follow it, I was not ready for spending a morning alone with Emmett and Jasper. There was no telling what my brothers had in store for me, especially since they'd both been singing cheesy pop songs in their heads for the last three days. I could only hope it wouldn't end with anyone in jail.


	3. Last Minute Bonding

**It all belongs to SM. ** I am lucky to dabble with them.

Happy Saturday, Everyone!! I had a ton of fun with this chapter and I hope you all find it as amusing as I did writing it. Gotta love Renee and Emmett, so clueless, so funny, and only right when they don't realize it. Enjoy!!

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**Last Minute Bonding**

**Bella's POV:**

Sitting in a car with my mother driving was actually more unnerving than having Edward drive without looking at the road. Even though I knew the seatbelt was secured, I couldn't help but grip it and pull it tighter across my chest as she sped us toward Port Angeles. Her hands kept coming up from the steering wheel and waving around as she grew more and more animated with her talking, covering everything from my early attempts at solid food to what I should consider doing for my first wedding anniversary. Pointing out that I wasn't married yet didn't do any good and got me one of her motherly stares.

"Bells, I'm curious about something," my mother said, breaking the two-point-one second silence between now and her last words.

"Curious? That's new," I teased, smiling over at her.

"I'm trying to be serious." She straightened up in the driver seat while she spoke as if a change in posture was going to sell me on her seriousness.

It didn't and I couldn't help but laugh again.

"Okay, so I'm not the most conventional mother," she admitted, giving me a smile and sideways glance. "But I am your mother and as such, there are things I feel the need to prepare you for."

"Mom, I'm prepared enough. I live with Alice and Rose."

"I doubt they've prepared you for the sexual aspect. They are Edward's sisters after all."

"Adopted sisters, Mom. And trust me, nothing is taboo in that house. The Cullens are very open and honest with each other. It's what keeps them all so close."

"How open are we talking?"

"Not that open," I cried out in horror. I could feel the heat in my face and was sure I could pass for a tomato's twin. My mother was implying the same thing the entire teenage population of Forks believed was true—the Cullen family shared more than last names.

"Too bad. That Carlisle is one beautiful man."

"Mom," I screamed. "Phil? Your husband? Ringing any bells here?"

My mom just laughed, patting my knee. "Bella, you really need to relax, Sweetheart. You're much too uptight for a nineteen year old. Besides, I was only joking. Not about the beautiful part, though. For being a family made up of adopted children, they all look strikingly similar."

"It's just the way they're so comfortable with each other," I lied. It wasn't as though I could tell her their pale skin, golden eyes, and perfectly white smiles were because they were vampires. With my luck, Renee would believe me and tell everyone she knew and then those creepy Italy people would hear about it and—

Not a line of thought worth chasing after. Instead, I focused on my mother and the time we would had alone together this morning. "I'm really glad you came early, Mom," I said, meaning it completely.

"I'm glad Edward arranged it. You know, I don't think I've ever seen a man more in love with a woman than he is with you. It's almost like one of those old legends where a man takes one look at a woman and she becomes imprinted on his heart, leaving him unable to see that any other women exist in the world."

"What have you been reading now?" I chuckled. It was a nervous laugh, though. She'd just described exactly what it had felt like for me when I'd seen Edward that first time. I'd never really given any guy a second glance, and the first time I'd seen him stroll into the cafeteria, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I'd never noticed Mike was interested in more than friendship until he practically shouted it at me. And I certainly didn't notice Jacob's intentions until too late. Even when Edward had been away, he'd been the only one I wanted.

"Oh, that's perfect!" Renee squealed, channeling Alice perfectly. I was really starting to think I should trace the family history and find out if my mom had any relatives with the last name of Brandon.

"What's perfect?" I asked, taking the bait when she didn't explain herself.

"It's a bridal shop. We have to go inside," she said as she parked Esme's car.

"Mom, I have everything for my dress. Alice took care of it all."

"Of course she did. But we are looking for something to wear after the dress comes off," my mother replied.

"Oh, no we aren't," I countered, my cheeks immediately taking on that darn blush again.

"Bells, it's time to stop fearing your sexuality and embrace it. Trust me, Edward will thank you for it." Yep, definitely channeling Alice.

"Oh, God," I groaned even as I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the car door. "Mom, won't it be weird for you to pick out clothes for this sort of thing?"

"No. We're just two girls shopping for girly things. I've chosen to block out the fact that this will be for my future-son-in-law's enjoyment."

I thought for a second about telling her he wouldn't be enjoying anything until about four days after the wedding, but that would have just led to more questions than I could answer. It would be easier to submit to my mother and shop for lingerie with her.

"Now, Bells, what are his tastes?"

"Tastes?"

"Yes. Is he reserved? Is he bold? Does he prefer a modest look? Or would he rather see skin right away?"

"Um …"

"Isabella, if you're going to be his wife, you have to know his likes and dislikes."

"We sort of figured we would learn that together, after the wedding."

"Well we can't shop blind," Renee huffed, putting her hands on her hips. And then just as suddenly as she'd gotten frustrated, she was all smiles. She pulled out her cellphone, pressed a few buttons, and was quickly deep into a rapid fire discussion that ensured I would spend the rest of the day red as a tomato. "Alice, dear, we have a quandary on our hands. Bella and Edward have not been experimenting and she doesn't know his tastes, which makes it impossible for me to help her find the right kind of attire for the wedding night. I was hoping that as his sister, you might have some insight into Edward's preferences. Oh, you do! You are? Wonderful! We'll see you shortly then."

I shook my head in defeat, knowing there was no way out of this.

"Bells, relax," my mother chuckled, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me close. "Just think of this as last minute bonding time with your mother and your future in-laws."

I really hoped Edward was having a better time with his brothers. At least one of us should be having a relaxing morning.

* * *

**Edward's POV:**

I hated not driving. I loathed not driving. And I especially despised not driving while being stuck in the back of Emmett's Jeep.

"Would you stop sulking over the driving thing?" Jasper asked, turning to look back at me. "You're killing my good mood."

"Just think of Bella and the fact that you'll be marrying her tomorrow night," Emmett suggested. "That always puts a goofy ass smile on your face."

"Can I know where we're going yet?" I asked, ignoring my brother's teasing.

"We're going wherever the road takes us," Emmett chuckled. "We are three men hanging out and having some last minute bonding before our little brother takes the plunge and becomes a married man."

"And we have a cheery mood," Jasper laughed, instantly affected by my change in disposition.

"It really is going to happen," I mused. "She's going to marry me."

"Of course Bells will marry you. The girl is nuts about you," Emmett replied. "She even—Oops," he said, quickly starting to whistle and avoiding looking into his rearview mirror.

"She what?" I demanded.

"It's nothing bad so let it go," he said. He still refused to meet my eyes in the mirror.

"Emmett. Tell me now," I ordered.

"Dude, relax," Emmett replied. "It's nothing bad. It's a surprise for you."

"Just tell him," Jasper said. "You know he won't be able to let it go."

"Fine, but you didn't hear this from me," Emmett said with a sigh. "She wants to surprise you for the wedding. She's been having Alice teach her to dance."

"Alice even bought a copy of the dress for Bella to practice in just in case she sweats during the dance lessons," Jasper chuckled.

"Ed, man, you seem awfully quiet back there," Emmett said, turning his head to look at me.

"She's trying to learn to dance for me." It seemed to be the only thing I was capable of getting out at the moment. Dancing was something Bella was so sure she couldn't master, yet here she was trying to do it just for me. Each time I thought I knew the depth of her love, I found out how clueless I truly was.

"He's stunned," Jasper chuckled. "He still doesn't get it."

"Get what?" I asked.

"Yep, totally clueless," Emmett agreed, shaking his head at me.

"Get what?" I repeated.

Jasper and Emmett exchanged a look and then Jasper turned his eyes toward me. "Bella might have a human body, but she's got emotions to rival any vampire out there. It's been that way with her from the first time she saw you."

"That not possible," I replied, sure that my brothers were exaggerating just to mess with me.

"Edward, you can read minds. Alice can see the future. I can screw with people's feelings. Jane can bring a person to their knees with a single thought. Think of Jacob and his people, able to turn to wolves. None of those should be possible, yet they are. This world isn't as black and white as the humans like to think it is. And even if it might be, Bella isn't. She's defied every rule from the start. She was never afraid to be near us, she got sick from the smell of blood, and you can't read her mind. How can you tell me those are possible but her having above average emotions isn't?"

"While Eddie thinks on that, let's go inside and make sure everything's in order for our reservations," Emmett said, opening his door.

"Where are we?" I asked, following after my brothers. I'd think about Jasper's words later when I was alone.

"We're renting a plane," Emmett replied.

"For what?"

"Skydiving, of course," he answered as if it was only natural.

"We can't skydive," I said, stopping right there in the middle of the parking lot.

"We can and we will," Emmett said, turning to face me. "We've planned out every detail, and we even have Alice's assurance nothing will go wrong."

"But if anything goes wrong with a human pilot—"

"No humans," Jasper said, shaking his head and smiling wide. "I'll be your pilot for today."

"Yeah, we're flying Southern Gentleman Air," Emmett joked as he hooked one large arm around my neck. "So stop worrying and come on, Eddie. We have a plane to jump out of."

"What if the chutes won't work for us?" I asked.

"We're jumping over water so it won't matter," Jasper replied. "Just relax and trust us, Edward. We're not going to steer you wrong the day before your wedding."

"Yeah, Bells would have Alice and Rose murder us," Emmett chuckled.

I relented and allowed Emmett to move me toward the office building, knowing they were not going to let this idea go. And if Alice had blessed it, then I trusted it would turn out fine. I just really hoped Bella was having a calmer bonding experience than mine.

* * *

**Bella's POV:**

"No, Mom," I managed to get out between giggles. "I really don't think Edward would appreciate butt-less chaps."

"That's more up Emmett's alley," Alice teased, nudging Rose with her elbow.

"I don't know how you have patience for Jasper's tastes—too many damn buttons," Rosalie said, pretending to blow something off her perfectly painted blood red nails.

"There's something to be said for slow and sensual," Alice replied.

"Yeah, but a lot more gets said during hot and heavy," Rose said with a devious smile.

"Girls, we're edging toward that area where I threaten to send you both outside until you remember how to speak in public," Esme warned.

"Bella isn't matching my nails yet so we're good," Rose joked, grinning at Esme.

She ignored her daughter, continuing to flip through the racks.

"Alice, how long have you been with Jasper?" Renee asked.

"Oh, a while now," Alice answered with a shrug of her tiny shoulder. "I knew he was the one the moment I saw him."

"Did he know the same?" Renee chuckled.

Rosalie actually let out a snort at my mother's question and received a slap on the hip from Alice for it.

"What about you, Rosalie? Are things serious with Emmett?" my mother asked.

"Serious and Emmett never go in the same sentence," I replied before I could stop myself. My hands flew to my mouth and I could feel my eyes widening as I turned to look at Rosalie.

"Bella, one. Rosalie … well, we just won't say what you are," Alice chuckled.

"I used to wonder if I should have given Bella a sibling. I see now I was right to keep her an only child," my mother said, smiling wide at Alice and Rosalie.

"Bella, how about something a little more traditional?" Esme suggested. I turned toward her to find a long ivory silk gown in her hands. It had a scoop neck top and looked like it would hug my body in just the right places.

"Now that is more like it," I said, taking it from her and holding it up to the mirror. "Mom?"

She nodded her head once and then dissolved into tears, gripping me around the neck like I would disappear if she didn't hold on tight enough. In a way, I guess that was exactly what would be happening, only she shouldn't know that. She should be happy and excited about the shopping and the wedding; I didn't want to hurt anyone by loving Edward. Too many people had already been put through pain because of it.

"Renee," Esme said as she gently removed my mother's arms. "Don't worry a second for Bella. I'll keep a close eye on her and make sure she keeps you updated."

"Edward's going to take such good care of Bella that she'll hardly ever know a day of sadness, Renee," Alice promised. "They have a future full of love and friendship ahead of them, so please don't worry about her."

"My brother can be an idiot at times, but the best thing he's ever done was to propose to your daughter," Rosalie said, shocking all of us. "I can't promise to always get along with her, but I'll always protect her," she pledged, looking right at me. I could see in her amber eyes that she meant the words and wasn't just saying them to console my mother. I wanted to hug her, but I wasn't sure she would allow it. I smiled and tipped my head down in thanks instead.

"So the ivory one, Mom?" I asked, hoping to draw her back into the shopping and away from the thoughts that were making her sad.

"Definitely the ivory," she agreed, wiping at her eyes.

"And the red one," Alice chimed in, holding out something small and see-through.

"I don't think so," I said, shaking my head and refusing to take it from her.

"Trust me, Bells," she replied, giving me the stare that meant she'd already seen way more than I wanted to know about. "You _want_ the red one."

"Perfect!" my mother chirped. "Who's ready for lunch? I feel like I could eat a bear and still be hungry."

"Who does that sound like?" Rose snorted, making Alice, Esme, and me laugh while my mother just stared at us. That was one inside joke I was not about to explain.

* * *

**Edward's POV:**

"Are you ready?" Emmett yelled over the roar of the plane's engines. I just looked at him, waiting for him to remember that he had no need to yell. It took longer than it should have, but when it finally happened, he gave me an apologetic smile.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked one more time.

"I'm sure it's going to be one hell of a jump," he chuckled.

"Then let's do it," I said, unable not to grin back at him.

"Thirty seconds!" Jasper called out. "You lucky bastards," he added. Since he was the only one capable of flying the plane, he wouldn't get to jump with us.

"Don't worry, Jazz," I told him. "I promise you can teach me to fly so you can jump one day."

"I'm holding you to that," he replied. "We're far enough out now. There shouldn't be anyone to see us and the water should be deep enough to handle the impact no matter how fast you're falling."

"We owe you one, Jazzy," Emmett said, reaching over and clapping his shoulder. "You are my favorite brother from another mother."

"Edward, do me a favor and push him out," Jasper chuckled.

Emmett moved to stand in the doorway with his back facing out. "On this day, we Cullen men make history as the first skydiving vampires. Tomorrow, we do it again as the first vamp family to welcome a human into our world. Gentlemen, we are legend. And _I_ am out of here." He crossed his arms in front of his chest and let himself fall backward, right out of the plane. I chuckled at his behavior and followed right after, choosing to jump face first.

I was not prepared for how fast I hurtled through the sky and toward the water below me, and it took me a moment to remember everything Emmett and Jasper had told me on the flight over. As soon as I did recall it, I spread my arms and legs to slow my fall, but it only helped a little because of my body weight. I didn't bother worrying about the chute—the chances of it holding under the best of circumstances had been slim so stopping a solid stone body at this velocity was impossible.

Even with the wind howling in my ears, I could hear Emmett's shouts of laughter and "woo-hoo". It was already clear he would be telling this story for years to come and I found myself joining in on his laughter. This really was an amazing moment and definitely something worth remembering.

Emmett opened his chute below me, the red and gold colors streaming up toward me before billowing out to take shape. It held two and one quarter seconds before I heard the seams popping on his straps. The fabric bunched up once again and then raced Emmett toward the water that we were rapidly approaching.

Being the goof that he was, Emmett decided to make the most of his plummet and tucked his arms and legs in, shouting out "cannonball" just before hitting the water. He hit so hard that it created a funnel before sending water shooting a good twenty feet into the air—some of the spray even managed to hit my face.

Knowing how much it would annoy my brother to be outdone, I leaned forward until I was pointing headfirst at the water. I stretched my arms in front of me as if I was doing nothing more than diving from a cliff and sliced right through the water. There was so much momentum behind me that I didn't slow until my hands sunk into the sandy bottom.

I turned and kicked up, joining Emmett on the surface of the water. "Show off," he accused, shaking the water from his hair at me.

"What would you call what you did?" I asked, splashing water his way.

"That was the world's most perfect cannonball," he chuckled. "We so have to do that again, Edward. That was so badass."

"I agree, but I think we should wait until we can let Jasper have a go."

"Yeah, I guess," he sighed. And then he perked up, his smile back and in full force. "Besides, we have to be back at the house for the heaters to get delivered."

"You actually remembered that?"

He chuckled and dunked my head under the water, laughing when I came back up and spit it at him. "Edward, for someone so smart, you sure can be dumb."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning this wedding is important to you and to Bells, which makes it important to all of us. We're a family, Edward. We celebrate the great times, stick together during the crappy ones, and love each other no matter what. I know you and Rose get caught up in that whole monster thing sometimes, but you're both so damn wrong. There's no way we can love each other as deeply as we do and be evil. It just isn't possible, man. Vampire is our race, just like if we were Hispanic. Family is what we choose to be because we love each other."

"That's an interesting way to look at it, Em."

"You're welcome to over-think it during our swim back to shore," he chuckled. And then his eyes took on that gleeful look that always preceded a challenge. "Bet I can make it to Jasper before you do."

"Em, you know I'm the fastest."

"That's on land, Eddie-boy. This is water and I am buoyant in the water. I can so take you."

"A thousand bucks and loser has to keep the humans occupied at dinner for the rest of us to get rid of our food without eating it?"

"Deal," he said, holding his hand out to me.

I reached for it and caught his thought just a little too late. He dunked me under the water like before and started swimming away, telling me with his thoughts that it wasn't cheating, just smart strategy.

I laughed and took off after him, determined to beat him. "I really hope you liked chicken in your human life, Em, because you're going to be stuffing yourself with it tonight."

"Dream on, you little vampire virgin. I've got this in the bag," he yelled back.

I laughed at his teasing while swimming after him. There was no doubt in my mind that I would win and he would sulk … There was also no doubt that I belonged to an amazing family—I had just needed a human to show it to me.


	4. Seal the Deal with a Kiss

**It all belongs to SM. ** I am lucky to dabble with them.

**Seal the Deal with a Kiss**

**Bella's POV:**

The rehearsal dinner had been a huge success, going off without a single mishap. There hadn't even been any inappropriate jokes from Emmett. The actual wedding itself was not going as well.

The guests were late, stuck in the traffic created by last night's huge snow storm. I'd wanted a light dusting of the ground and trees, not three feet of the stuff. All of the men were outside shoveling snow and trying to clear the backyard enough to fit the two giant tents and everything that went with them. The only good thing about the snow was that it kept Charlie, Renee, and Phil away from the house, allowing the guys to work at vampire speed and hide the removed snow in the forest.

"Bella stop chewing on your lip before you cause it to bleed," Alice warned. "I understand you're nervous right now, but that's no excuse to cause more problems for us."

"Sorry," I sighed, moving away from the window and sitting down beside her. "I wanted everything to be perfect tonight."

"It will be if you stop worrying over it," she assured me.

"Alice, can you still see me as a full Cullen?" I asked, not sure why it suddenly seemed so important to have her confirm my future.

She closed her eyes and leaned back into the sofa, taking in a breath she didn't need. I'd asked her about doing that since she didn't need the air and she said it helped her to focus on what she wanted to see most.

After what seemed like a longer time than she normally took, she opened her eyes and smiled at me. "I see you amber eyed, wrapped up in Edward's arms, and laughing happily with him. You both seem perfectly happy, Bella. Now will you stop worrying?"

Seeing this as a possible way to get something I wanted, I tried to barter with Alice. "If I promise to stop, can I get out of wearing the tiara?"

"Not on your life," she chuckled. "And we both know you knew my answer before you asked."

"Yeah," I agreed, smiling at her. She could be too much to handle at times, but I always knew she had my best interest at heart.

The cordless phone sitting on the coffee table started to ring and instead of answering it, Alice glared at it. "I believe that will be for you," she said. She was out of the room before I could even react to her behavior.

I sighed and picked up the phone—there was only one person who got a reaction like that out of Alice. "Hello, Jacob," I greeted. We were still friendly, but nothing like before. He didn't accept my choices, but he wouldn't stop me either. As for Alice, she still hadn't forgiven herself or the wolves for my coma; she was turning out to be just as stubborn as Edward.

"Hey, Bells. I wanted to call and see how you were holding up today."

"I'm fine. A little annoyed with the snow, but excited for tonight."

"Yeah, I hear marrying into a family of the undead is all the rage."

My fingers found their way to the bridge of my nose, using one of Edward's tricks for remaining calm in tense situations. "And just when I thought your sarcasm was getting old and boring."

"I do wish I could be happy for you, Bells. I wish I could buy you a toaster and know you'll get years of use out of it. But we both know that's not how it'll happen."

"So why bother calling at all, Jacob?"

"On the off chance you might want to change your mind."

"I won't."

"I know."

That strained silence we were getting so good at took over, stretching out for so long that I wondered if he was even still there. "Jacob?"

"I'm here, Bells. I'm here until you say 'I do'."

"That won't be very long from now," I said, staring out of the window wall. The sun set so early in December, and the sky was already turning purple.

"Good luck."

"I don't need luck. I have Edward." I had no idea why I'd felt the urge to say that to him, but it was out there now and I wouldn't take it back. It was true after all.

"I hope he makes you happier in your next life than he did in this one." He followed up his serious words with a laugh, but it was clearly forced. "And if he doesn't, I'll help you burn him."

I could think of only one thing to say in return. "Goodbye, Jacob."

"Bye, Bells. Don't ever forget that I loved you once."

"I won't forget that you were my friend when I needed one most," I promised. My finger pressed down and ended so much more than a phone call. I could only stare at the piece of plastic, feeling too many things to pick just one to go with.

And then I reminded myself that this was _my_ day and I had every right to be happy about it. I set the phone on the coffee table and moved to stand up, barely getting to my feet before two solid arms were around me, cradling me against a familiar chest that smelled of mint and the detergent Esme used. Despite there being seven vampires in the house, there was very little laundry washing going on. And Edward had honestly only gotten into the habit of keeping and washing his clothes because he knew I liked to wear his shirts to sleep in.

"I'm fine," I told him, pretty sure Alice had told him about my phone call.

"I know," he murmured, his nose tickling the edge of my ear as he pressed his face into my hair. He never seemed to get tired of the scent of my strawberry shampoo; not that I ever got tired of his smell either.

"So how goes the snow removal?" I asked, turning and wrapping my arms around his back. The hold wouldn't actually keep him right there with me, but knowing I wanted him to stay definitely would.

"Nearly done. Emmett and Jasper are finishing up while Carlisle helps Esme with the flowers in the greenhouse."

"We have to thank her again for the roses."

"Yes, one more among thousands is just what's needed," he chuckled.

"Fine," I sighed, snuggling myself further against him. "Tease me. I don't care. I'll tell her I'm the only one thankful."

"You can tell her after you eat."

I opened my mouth to argue but was stopped first by the realization that we were already in the kitchen, and secondly by the grumbling of my stomach. "Maybe something small," I said, making him laugh again.

"Esme made those cucumber sandwiches you seemed to like so much during the spring. She said you would need something light just to get you through until the reception."

"I don't have nerves," I assured him, settling onto one of the stools at the counter.

"Not yet, but you will," he said, looking too confident to have not talked to Alice already.

"Well if I do have them, it'll be over something small, like where people are sitting."

"Are you attempting to convince me or you?" he asked, his eyebrow quirking up toward his copper locks.

"You. I've always known what I wanted. I've just never been able to make you believe that."

"You know," he said slowly, pushing the plate closer to me in an attempt to get me to start eating. "There are a great many things I've come to believe since meeting you. I admit to not always accepting the new information quickly or quietly."

I couldn't help but laugh at just how true that was, but I did do my best to keep it short.

He came around the counter almost too fast for me to see, his hand lightly touching my cheek while his amber eyes drew me in, making him the only thing I could see—the only thing I cared to see. "Bella, I know you love me. I know you are sure with everything in you that you want me. I just wasn't sure it was strong enough to last. The idea of you regretting one second of your life with me tortures me in ways I can't explain to you. I love you more than anything and only want for you to be happy, no matter what it takes."

"All it takes is you, Edward."

He smiled and pressed his lips to my forehead, making sure to avoid my lips since we'd both been forced to promise Alice we wouldn't kiss again until tonight when we were proclaimed husband and wife. "I don't like it either," he murmured, once again seeming to know what I was thinking.

"Edward, if I ever consider for even a second having another wedding in a century or two, remind me of how crazy the planning was for this one and stop me right away."

"Gladly, Love," he chuckled, moving aside so I could eat.

After eating half of the miniature sandwiches and drinking most of the tea he gave me, Alice whisked me upstairs to begin the most torturous part of the day—hair and makeup. Renee had arrived by then and she joined us, along with Rose. I was so busy talking with everyone that I barely noticed Rose fixing my hair and Alice fixing my face.

I'd kept my dress a secret from my mother, wanting her first time seeing it to be when I was wearing it. It was much more modern than the original dress Alice had picked out for me. It was strapless with a small amount of stitching around the top of the corset. The bottom was made of lacy layers and a few sections bunched at the hip, outlined with the same design that adorned the corset. It flowed all the way down to my feet, and it made me feel both classy and beautiful. Alice said that was exactly the way a wedding dress was supposed to make the bride feel.

She also said that during the time we'd been chatting and getting ready, all of the guests had arrived safely and were seated in the tent. It was nearly time and there were just a few things to take care of first—like letting Renee see me in my dress.

"Ready?" Alice asked, giving the bottom layer one last adjustment.

"More than ready," I said, ignoring the slight shake in my hands. I wasn't prepared for how much I needed my mother to like this dress—actually, I think I needed to hear she was okay with the entire wedding. I would go through with it no matter what, but I really wanted her to be okay with it.

"Rose?" Alice called.

The door opened and she stepped in, wearing a red dress that had only a single strap across the left shoulder. Of course she wore it perfectly, with her blond hair pulled up in a bun toward the right. I'd asked her to stand with me, but she'd politely refused, stating she didn't want to take attention away from me. At the time, I'd thought it was just an excuse, but looking at her now …

"Don't, Bella," Rose said, interrupting my staring. "Today, you're the one who's the most beautiful woman in the world." She laughed and I sure it was at my inability to close my mouth. "And if you tell anyone I said it, I'll deny it," she added.

"I heard you," Alice piped up.

"Yes, but I know how to control you," Rose chuckled.

"Is it okay to look yet?" my mom asked, stumbling in with her hand over her eyes.

"Bella?" Alice questioned.

I nodded, trying to force myself to breathe. But I couldn't. Not until Renee looked at me.

The second her eyes focused on me, they filled with tears. "Bella, honey … I can't even … You're beautiful, Baby," she blubbered, smiling and crying at the same time.

I smiled even as I chewed on my lip, trying to control my own urge to cry.

She came closer, taking my hands into hers. "When you were born, I knew you were going to be so special, Bella. I had all of these dreams in my head of what you would grow to be, but I never imagined you would be this young when you married."

"Are you disappointed?"

"I was in the beginning," she admitted. "But looking at your right now, so beautiful and so happy … Bella, _this_ is your moment. You were meant to be marrying this man on this day and I am so proud of you for following your heart."

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Baby," she murmured, lightly pressing her lips to my cheek. "It's almost time, and your dad is right outside. Would you like a moment with him before he walks you out?"

"That's probably a good idea," I agreed.

"We'll be outside waiting," Alice said as the three of them left the room.

I turned toward the full length mirror, checking over the dress once more while waiting for Charlie. I still thought the tiara mixed in with the curls on the top of my head was a bit much, but at least it was small and not completely encrusted with diamonds. The rest of my hair was also curled and hung down loosely across my back. Alice had originally planned on putting my hair up, but she'd seen how much Edward would enjoy it down and she'd been sweet enough to alter her plan.

Still, I doubted I would outshine Rose and Alice tonight. My maid of honor, and my best friend and wedding planner, was wearing a knee length silver dress with an empire waist. She said the color would help make the blue roses we would carry stand out more. She refused to tell me what Edward and Carlisle would be wearing, citing fairness since they had no idea what my dress looked like. She'd worked really hard to guard her thoughts and make sure Edward couldn't pick it out of her brain.

"Excuse me, young woman, could you tell me where my little girl is at?"

I caught Charlie's reflection in the mirror and returned his smile before turning to face him. "Do I really look like a young woman? Or is it more like a child playing dress up?"

"The first. Definitely the first," he said.

As usual with us, we fell silent and just looked at each other. He coughed a few times and moved his hands from his jacket pockets to his pants pockets. Alice had not only gotten him to wear a new suit, she'd also gotten a tie on him.

"You look great, Dad."

"Alice," he said, smiling and holding up his tie.

"She's pretty convincing, isn't she?"

"And bossy," he chuckled. "She told me to get in here or else. I wasn't sure I wanted to find out what 'or else' might be with her."

"You could end up with a whole new wardrobe," I teased, knowing Alice could hear me wherever she was in the house.

Charlie's smile dropped a little and he stepped closer, holding his arm out to me. "It's that time, Bells."

I nodded and wrapped my arm around his, relying on him to help me navigate the stairs without breaking anything. Thankfully, Alice had me get ready in her room so I only had one flight of stairs to deal with.

I really had planned on trying to remember every little step and detail of this night, but it was so hard to concentrate with all of the emotions and thoughts coursing through me. I wondered if I should say something more to Charlie to let him know how much I loved him and appreciated that he'd let me move to Forks with him. I debated with myself on whether or not I should share what Edward had picked up from Sue Clearwater—that she had a small crush on my dad for all of the help he'd given her after Harry's death. I even tried to decide if I should make Renee promise to look in on Charlie—but then I remembered I needed Phil to look in on her.

I suddenly found myself standing right outside of the tent the ceremony would take place in. The white flap of the entrance billowed softly in the small breeze and was the only sound I could hear over the noise in my own head. I forced myself to stop thinking and just looked around, taking in the scene before me. The light dusting of snow I'd wanted was exactly what was on the ground and in the tree branches that bordered the northern edge of the tents. The moon was high and full, casting its silvery moonlight on everything and it brought a huge smile to my face. _This_ was the wedding of my dreams, and the reality of it was so much sweeter than I had ever imagined.

Charlie enveloping me in a tight hug surprised me right out of my musings. I chuckled and hugged back, not used him to him being so outwardly affectionate. There was just a second where I remembered that other world where he hadn't been at my side, but it was only a second and meant nothing. Just a tiny cobweb strand that caught your attention and was gone before you could swipe it away. This was the reality and my father was not only here with me, he was showing how much he cared.

Charlie sniffled and pulled back, holding me at arm's length and giving me a watery smile. "This giving away thing is strictly ceremonial, Bells. You'll always be my little girl. If you ever need anything, anything at all, you come to me."

I smiled and hugged him back. "I love you."

He let go and nodded, putting on a smile that I knew was just for me. He held his arm out again and I took it, the weight of the action pressing down on me and forcing me to take in a shuddering breath.

This was it. I would pass through these flaps and take my first step towards becoming a Cullen forever.

**Edward's POV:**

I smiled at Alice, silently thanking her for being such a huge help. She was sending her thoughts directly to me, using my name often, and keeping me focused on only her "voice". I didn't want to accidentally see Bella through Charlie's eyes—I wanted my first glimpse of her to be as she stepped into this tent to become my wife.

'_Edward!_' Alice's thoughts squealed. It took everything to remain still and not wince at the shrill sound. '_You've changed your mind._'

I moved my eyes from left to right to signal a negative response. As far as I knew, there were no decisions I had changed my mind about and I had no clue which one she might be referring to at this moment.

'_No, you did, Edward. You changed your mind and it's going to work and be amazing, for both of you._'

My eyebrows drew together, asking her to explain herself. She threw so many thoughts and images at once that I struggled to keep up. It didn't take long to figure out what all of her excitement was about, but I was certain she had to be wrong.

Again, I moved my eyes from left to right.

'_You change your mind. It's not anything Bella does. It's you. And I swear I wasn't even looking for it, Edward. It was just there all of a sudden. You will take your time and stay in control and nothing bad will happen._"

For the third time, my eyes moved left to right. Her visions were subjective and she knew that. She'd just confirmed as much by saying she hadn't been looking when it popped up on its own. There was no way I would risk Bella like that. End of story.

Before my sister could argue any further, the music I'd selected for Bella's walk down the aisle started to play. Soft music accompanying a female voice singing words that had immediately reminded me of my Bella …

_What if I told you_

_It was all meant to be?_

_Would you believe me?_

The flaps parted with Emmett and Jasper's help and Charlie stepped in with my Bella on his arm. She was breathtaking! I couldn't decide wear to even start—I only knew I felt full in a way I'd never known before and the need to blink away moisture that didn't exist was hard to ignore. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her as she made her way up the aisle, keeping in time with the music.

_Would you agree?_

_It's almost that feelin'_

_That we've met before._

_So tell me that you don't think I'm crazy_

_When I tell you love has come and now..._

_A moment like this_

_Some people wait a lifetime,_

_For a moment like this._

_Some people search forever,_

_For that one special kiss._

_Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me._

_Some people wait a lifetime,_

_For a moment like this._ **In a Moment Like This – Kelly Clarkson**

The music stopped as she reached me, standing just inches away. The depth of her love visible in her chocolate eyes was staggering and I wanted nothing more than to wrap her up in my arms. But this was her moment with Charlie.

She turned and leaned forward, pressing her lips to his cheek. "I love you, Daddy. Thank you for everything."

Charlie nodded stiffly, trying to smile and just barely managing it. His thoughts were clear today and he felt like he was losing Bella for a second time. This was not something I wanted to happen, but it was unavoidable. I could only do my best to give them a few more years together.

He lifted her hand up, kissing the back of it affectionately, and placed it into my waiting hand. His eyes met mine for a moment and his thoughts once again became crystal clear to me. Images of Bella throughout the years were swirling in his mind, some when she was only a baby and some during summers when she couldn't have been older than eight or nine.

One particular came to the front of a Bella covered in mud, with her hair falling from a ponytail and a huge smile on her face. The lips on the Bella in his mind moved and the words soon followed through his thoughts … _I don't ever want to get married, Daddy. You're the only boy I like_.

All of this happened in the space of a few seconds, too quickly for humans to realize anything had occurred. But the six members of my family knew something had happened and Jasper let me know he could feel both the appreciation and the guilt I was feeling with Charlie at the moment. The slightest nod of my head let them know they had nothing to worry about as I focused on keeping my face neutral.

"Edward, she says you're what she wants and I trust her, so you just make sure you don't hurt her," Charlie said as he brought Bella forward those final inches.

"Never again," I pledged, wrapping my fingers around her delicate digits and pulling her closer to me. I had meant to look at him when I'd said it, but I was too lost in her to move my eyes away. She was radiant and as much as it hurt to look at her, I knew it would be devastating to turn away. She was everything I'd ever wanted and never believed I would have. Her heart was pure gold and capable of a love so deep that it could change not one, but seven vampires for the better. She loved as fiercely as she defended her friends, and she never said anything without a purpose or without it being the truth. And when she laughed … There were no words to describe what the sound of her happiness did to me.

For a vampire with perfect memory, I couldn't tell you much of anything about the ceremony. I could only drink in Bella with my eyes and whisper words of love with my lips and hear her soft sighs and giggles in reaction to me. It seemed as if we moved straight from Charlie's words to sliding rings on each other's fingers.

My voice and hand were not as steady as I would have liked them, but I was slow and patient, and slipped the delicate ring onto her finger without any issues. Holding her hand and her gaze, I pledged myself to the woman of my dreams. "Isabella Swan, with all that I am and will ever be, I give my heart to you on this day. I belong to you now and forever, and will only ever be yours."

She smiled through her tears as Alice set my ring into her hand and though her voice waivered from the emotion in it, her eyes never did. "Edward Cullen, I have belonged to you from the moment you laid your ear to my heart to hear its beat. I will only ever be yours. Heart, body, and even mind, I belong to you now and forever."

I could hear the words in his head seconds before Carlisle spoke them and I honestly believed no truer words had ever been uttered. "It is said when two souls unite, a love unassailable by time or trials is born, and the world is renewed with hope. That is exactly what we have all witnessed here today."

"Now seal the deal with a kiss," Emmett encouraged, getting a laugh from all of the guests and even Bella.

"Edward, this is probably the only time you'll hear me say this," Carlisle chuckled. "Listen to your brother."

Bella and I laughed together for just a moment and then I was drawing her closer, my arms securely wrapped around her small waist. The heat of the blush staining her cheeks wafted against my face as I leaned in slowly, trying to reign in my excitement so I wouldn't assault her. I wanted our first kiss as husband and wife to be tender and romantic for her.

But my Bella had plans of her own and her fingers twisted up in my hair, pulling her face to mine and pressing our lips tightly together. The smallest of chuckles passed between our lips and then we were equally putting passion and excitement into our first kiss as Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. I honestly could not have been happier and for once, I knew the same was true for Bella.


	5. First Dances

**It all belongs to SM. ** I am lucky to dabble with them.

**First Dances**

**Bella's POV:**

Waiting to enter the reception tent and literally face the music had me struggling not to bite the nails Alice had so expertly painted hours ago. While the accident had taught me it was ridiculous to waste time being shy and insecure around and about Edward, I still struggled with it at times. And to know every set of eyes in the tent would be on us … I really hoped I wouldn't fall on my face.

But Alice was still assuring me everything would be okay and that I would do fine. We knew for the first dance as husband and wife Edward would pick a song that he felt expressed his feelings for me so we'd decided it was only right that I pick one back for him. I'd known right away what song it should be … I just wasn't so sure I could pull off the dancing to it part. Alice had been secretly giving me dance lessons to surprise Edward, and although I had learned a few things, I still spent a great deal of time stepping on her feet. I knew Edward would let me stand on his feet just as he'd done for prom, but I wanted to dance on my own two left feet for some insane reason.

Alice appeared at my side, taking my hand and smiling at me. "Remember what I said, Bells. Listen to the words of the song and think of how they relate to Edward. If you do that, you'll forget you're even dancing." Her whispered words of encouragement were great to hear even if I was still skeptical.

"Bells, want me to walk you into the reception?" Charlie asked. He'd been at my side from the moment we'd finally stopped taking the gazillion pictures Alice had wanted. Edward was being amazingly perfect, hanging out with his brothers to allow my father this time with me.

"Thanks, Daddy, but no," I replied, smiling as I leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Edward is my husband and he should walk me into the reception."

"Oh," Charlie sighed. "Yeah, I guess that is how it's supposed to go."

"I'll see you inside," I said, unable to stop myself from laughing at his pout.

"Yes, we'll see you shortly," Edward agreed as he smiled at my father. He'd been a little too quick about returning to me, but thankfully Alice gave my father something else to think about.

"Charlie, please escort me inside," she said, giving him a huge smile. "Jasper is nowhere to be found and I hate to enter all alone."

"It would be an honor," Charlie chuckled, holding his arm out to her. He'd seen Jasper just inside the tent the same as I had, but he was willing to play along for Alice's sake.

The second they were gone, I found myself in Edward's arms with his lips on mine. The kiss was intoxicating and I wondered for a moment if we really needed to go through with the reception at all. But before I could get too carried away with ideas of getting out of this dress and cuddling with Edward, he broke the kiss.

"Are you ready to officially greet our guests as Mrs. Edward Cullen?" he asked, his cool finger sliding across my overheated cheek. The stark difference in temperature sent a shiver down my spine, just as his words had done.

"I've been ready since you kissed me in the meadow."

"You mean that time you assaulted me with these lips of yours?"

That kiss would forever be ingrained in my memory … and it would also always bring out a smirk, just like now. "You enjoyed it."

"Far too much," he agreed, smiling right back. "Shall we?" he asked, waving toward the tent.

I chuckled and wrapped my arm around his, lifting up part of my dress with the other to keep from tripping. "Let's go."

Edward immediately noticed the difference in my shoes and I had to give him credit for trying so hard not to laugh. I'd ditched Alice's heels as soon as the photos were done and was now wearing a pair of white Keds she'd picked up for me. She'd seen the footwear change weeks ago and knew she could either buy me a white pair for the white dress or deal with me wearing the purple sneakers that I kept here and had originally planned on wearing.

We were hardly past the tent flaps and into the warmth of the outdoor heaters before Alice started her speech.

"Everyone, please stand and welcome our very happy couple, Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen," she said, the microphone carrying her honeyed voice throughout the large tent.

I blanched a little at her having everyone stand for us, but there was nothing to be done about it now. My parents were right up front and Charlie had a huge smile on his face while Renee was crying and clapping. And then she stuck her fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly. Of course, Emmett immediately copied her and the tent filled with laughter.

Alice waited for everyone to sit and quiet down before starting to speak. "There has never been anything traditional about the relationship between Edward and Bella," she said, winking over at me. "Usually, when a man and a woman feel for each other, they date. These two pretended they didn't even know each other."

I smiled up at Edward, shaking my head at the way Alice was twisting the truth for the guests.

He just shrugged and smiled right back. He knew as well as I did that Alice would do this whatever way she pleased.

"But after a great deal of help from yours truly," she said, putting her hand to her heart and smiling triumphantly. "These two stopped fighting fate and gave in to the true love that they felt for each other. As many of you know, I'm adopted. I was lucky to enter this family and be accepted so whole-heartedly, especially by Edward. I've known him for many years now and the difference Bella has made in his life has been tremendous. We will always be grateful to her for that. She has entered this family by marriage today, by her own choice, and we welcome her with open arms and hearts. We are your family forever, Bells. We will always be with you, no matter what the future holds."

"Those words are a little too ominous coming from her mouth," I murmured to Edward, knowing he would hear me.

"She's just being dramatic, Love," Edward assured me. "There haven't been any visions to worry over, besides that one about the cake getting knocked over. And she solved that by moving it to an opposite corner of the tent."

"Please raise your glasses in love and support of Edward and Bella," Alice said as she lifted her own champagne flute into the air. I watched in amusement as the Cullens skillfully pretended to drink for appearance sake. Edward was saved from the pretending by his "age".

Dinner was served next and we sat at a large circular table with my parents, Phil, and all of the Cullens. My mother sat next to Esme and practically talked her ear off, not the least bit apprehensive next to my vampires. Phil didn't touch much on his plate and he kept darting his eyes over to Emmett's broad shoulders. My dad had a rather smug smile on his face and I was pretty sure it was because he was enjoying Phil's discomfort. It wasn't that he disliked Phil, he was just jealous of him for having my mother. At least that was what Edward had been able to pick out of my dad's thoughts.

As soon as the plates were cleared from the tables, Alice grabbed the microphone once again and announced that Edward and I would have our first dance as husband and wife. This was it … I swallowed hard and prayed not to break anything.

Edward's smile was blinding as he led me to the area designated for dancing. "I hope you like what I've picked," he whispered, drawing me close and wrapping one of his solid arms around my back.

"I'm sure I'll love it," I said, already getting lost in his amber eyes as the music started.

Soft guitar thrumming circled around us and the first few words of the song filled my ears …

_Slow down, the world isn't watching us break down_

_It's safe to say we are alone now, we're alone now_

Looking up into Edward's smiling face and seeing the love and complete happiness there made it easy to believe we were the only two in the world.

_Not a whisper, the only noise is the receiver_

_I'm counting the seconds until you break the silence_

_So please just break the silence_

I did exactly as the song asked. "I love you, Edward."

He smiled and lifted the hand clasped in his, pressing his lips tenderly to the pulse point in my wrist, his eyes never leaving mine. I wanted to cry from the love pouring out of him, but I held it in, giving him a huge smile instead.

_The whispers turn to shouting_

_The shouting turns to tears_

_Your tears turn into laughter_

_And it takes away our fears_

_So you see, this world doesn't matter to me_

_I'll give up all I had just to breathe_

_The same air as you till the day that I die_

_I can't take my eyes off of you_

_I'm longing, for words to describe how I'm feeling_

_I'm feeling inspired_

_My world just flip turned upside down_

_It turns around, say what's that sound_

_It's my heart beat, it's getting much louder_

_My heart beat, is stronger than ever_

_I'm feeling so alive, I'm feeling so alive_

The guitar was joined by an orchestra and the soft thumping sounded exactly like a heartbeat echoing through the tent and wrapping around us. Edward's lips parted and my stomach twisted in anticipation of his words. "You gave me a heart and brought me to life. I will love you for eternity, Isabella."

There was no stopping the tears from falling, my heart too full of love and wonder for the man in front of me. His lips found mine and a kiss full of more love and passion than ever before swallowed us up. I wasn't sure if we were still moving or if the spinning sensation was just from the kiss, not that it mattered. We were finally married, finally promised to each other forever, and nothing could touch us.

_My whispers turn to shouting_

_The shouting turns to tears_

_Your tears turn into laughter_

_And it takes away our fears_

_So you see, this world doesn't matter to me_

_I'll give up all I had just to breathe_

_The same air as you till the day that I die_

_I can't take my eyes off of you_

_I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story_

_It's time I open up, and let your love right through me_

_I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story_

_It's time I open up, and let your love right through me_

_That's what you get_

_When you see your life in someone else's eyes_

_That's what you get, that's what you get_

Edward broke the kiss, giving me a wicked smile, and then we were twirling, with my feet now on his and our laughter ringing out around us. He was probably moving a bit faster than was normal, but we didn't care. This moment was all ours and it was perfect.

_So you see, this world doesn't matter to me_

_I'll give up all I had just to breathe_

_The same air as you till the day that I die_

_I can't take my eyes off of you_

_This world doesn't matter to me_

_I'll give up all I had just to breathe_

_The same air as you till the day that I die_

_I can't take my eyes off of you__**A Twist in My Story – Secondhand Serenade**_

He stopped our twirling and stared down at me, his chest rising and falling as fast as my own as the last of my giggles tapered off. He whispered a pledge to me and then kissed me again, slow and sweet this time. "I'll never take my eyes of you."

The sound of loud applause finally started to penetrate my foggy brain and I found the will to pull my lips away from Edward. I was sure my face was an interesting shade of red, but I couldn't really bring myself to care. How could I care about a blush when I had all of Edward's love and devotion?

"I really can't take my eyes off of you," Edward whispered as his forehead touched mine. "You are so beautiful today. There's this glow about you and it's impossible to look away from it."

"This is me happy, Edward. Happy without any fears for our families, happy to know you love me, and happy to start my forever with you."

His lips pulled up into that lopsided grin I loved so much and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Please join our happy couple as a special song Bella chose for Edward plays for us all to enjoy," Alice announced, reminding us that there were in fact other people here with us.

"You never said you were picking a song," Edward mused as he moved us to a starting position for the dance.

"How else could I keep it a surprise, what with my superhero husband being able to read minds?" I teased.

"How indeed," he chuckled.

"Actually, this will be too stiff for the song," I said, pulling back from his arms just a little.

"What do—" he started just as the music began. He instantly understood and laughed as he used his hold on my hand to twirl me around.

_Give me more loving than I've ever had_

_Make it all better when I'm feeling sad_

_Tell me I'm special even though I know I'm not_

_Make me feel good when I hurt so bad_

_Barely getting mad_

_I'm so glad I found you_

_I love being around you_

_You make it easy_

_It's as easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4_

_There's only one thing_

_To Do_

_Three words_

_For you_

_I love you_

_There's only one way to say_

_Those three words _

_That's what I'll do_

_I love you_

_Give me more loving from the very start_

_Piece me back together when I fall apart_

_Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends_

_Make me feel good when I hurt so bad_

_Best that I've had_

_I'm so glad I found you_

_I love being around you_

_You make it easy_

_It's easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4_

_There's only one thing_

I held up one finger to Edward, making him laugh.

_To Do_

I showed him two fingers and he quickly leaned forward to kiss the two fingertips.

_Three words_

Three fingers were wiggled at him, getting a huge smile in return.

_For you_

_I love you_

I put my hands over my heart and then pointed at him. He didn't laugh this time. He just pulled me into his arms and showed me that he loved me right back through his tender kiss.

_There's only one way to say_

_Those three words _

_That's what I'll do_

_I love you_

_I love you_

_You make it easy _

_It's easy as 1 2 1 2 3 4_

_There's only one thing_

_To Do_

_Three words_

_For you_

_I love you_

_There's only one way to say_

_Those three words _

_That's what I'll do_

_I love you_

_I love you_

_1-2-3-4_

_I love you_

_I love you__**1-2-3-4 - Plain White T's**_

As far as dances go, these two had been my absolute favorites and I doubted anything could ever top them, even if becoming a vampire brought me steady feet and graceful dancing abilities. This night was exactly what I'd wanted and I couldn't think of a single thing that would have made it any more perfect.

Then again, I was always underestimating Edward. A new song started and he put my hand into Charlie's, leaving us to dance together as the words started to fill the air.

_Gotta hold on easy as I let you go._

_Gonna tell you how much I love you_

_Though you think you already know._

_I remember I thought you look like an angel_

_Wrapped in pink so soft and warm._

_You've had me wrapped around you finger_

_Since the day you were born. _**My Little Girl – Tim McGraw**

"I wouldn't have pegged Edward for a country music person," my dad mused.

"He's not, but he knows you like it," I said, smiling up at Charlie.

He frowned and tears filled his eyes as he looked at me. "Promise me he'll really take care of you, Bells. Promise he won't leave you alone somewhere far away from me."

Guilt for hurting my dad made my own tears flow and I hugged him as tightly as I could. "He'll never leave me again, Daddy. I believe in him and you need to believe in me. I'll be safe and loved wherever I am, so please don't worry."

He coughed and pushed me back, quickly wiping his eyes on his jacket sleeve. "I never worry."

"Sure, sure," I chuckled.

"Well, that's about all the dancing I can stand," he said, smiling at Edward and moving aside for him to cut in. Charlie stuck his hand out and Edward shook it for much longer than I was used to seeing. "She loves you and that makes you a lucky man. Don't forget that," my dad said. He clapped Edward on the back, winced a little, and then loped off to join Esme and Carlisle at the table.

"Is he okay?" I asked Edward, not used to seeing my dad so emotional.

"He's fine. He's wondering how often I work out to have such hard muscles at my young age," Edward chuckled.

"How could you hold his hand for so long?"

Edward smiled and pressed his hand to my cheek. It was so warm that my own hand closed over his, keeping it from moving until I'd absorbed all of the heat.

"How did you do that?" I asked as I released his hand.

"While you two were dancing, I was warming my hand with one of the outdoor heaters. Charlie's been debating all night on whether to shake my hand or not and once he started dancing with you, he made up his mind. He's also always thought I was just being nice for your sake and that's why I wouldn't _really_ shake his hand."

"Edward, thank you."

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Isabella. All you have to do is ask and whatever your heart desires will be yours."

"Really?"

"Of course."

"Not that I don't love you just as you are, because I do. You _know_ I do. But would you consider using one of those heaters to warm your arms and chest right before bed? I would really love to lay with you without blankets between us for more than just a few minutes."

He didn't say anything right away and I wondered if I'd offended him. I almost apologized and then I caught the slight tilt of his head. He wasn't offended—he was checking with Alice to make sure it would be safe.

His amber eyes focused on me and my favorite lopsided grin made an appearance. "Bella, my love, your wish is my command."

"Edward, my husband, you are cheesy beyond belief," I chuckled. "And I love you more than I can say."

"Forever, my Bella," he promised first with his words and then with his kiss. So far, married life was amazing.

* * *

A little Sunday fluff for all you lovely readers out there!! I learned a valuable lesson about assuming internet access was practically universal and that's the reason for the late chapter! LOL


	6. United

**It all belongs to SM. ** I am lucky to dabble with them.

As you can probably guess from the chapter title, this has a Strawberry in it. One that I had no idea was coming and has shifted the outline I had for this thing completely. But more about that at the end ... Enjoy!

* * *

**United**

**Bella's POV:**

"That was _so_ the best party ever," I said, my arm around Alice as we headed inside after seeing off the last of the guests.

She giggled. "There's no party like a Cullen party."

I had to laugh at that. "You know, Ali, as exciting as this day as been, I'm still not even tired. What should we do next? Dare Emmett to taste the leftovers? Oh, I know! We could unplug his controller just enough for it to be sluggish to his responses and then cream him in 'Guitar Hero'."

"Actually, I believe Edward already has plans for the two of you," she said with a smirk. She knew a whole lot more than she was saying and I wanted to know too.

"Since when does he have plans? I thought we were all just hanging out here tonight and then leaving for Alaska in the morning."

"That's still the general plan," Alice assured me. "But it's just going to be the two of you in the house. The rest of us are going to leave a little earlier."

"What? Why?"

Alice smiled wide and shook her head as Jasper appeared behind her, wrapping his arm around her small waist. "That's for Edward to explain."

"We'll see you tomorrow, Bells," Jasper said as he started moving them toward the garage.

"Wait! Where is Edward?" I called out, seeing that Emmett, Rose, Carlisle, and Esme were already standing around in the garage.

"He'll join you in a minute, Dear," Esme said. "We all love you and will see you tomorrow. I can't wait to show you the new house."

"I can't wait to see it," I assured her.

"See you tomorrow, Bells. You looked great tonight," Emmett bellowed as he helped Rose into his Jeep.

"Thanks." I chuckled, waving to my family and still not having a clue why they were deserting me. Alice started up her Porsche and I waved once more before closing the door and heading into the living room. I looked around, unsure of what to do with myself while I waited for Edward to join me. I finally decided to just head upstairs and change for the third and what I hoped would be the final time tonight.

Even before I got to our room, I could feel the change in temperature and pulled off the powder blue sweater I'd slipped into midway through the reception. Alice had even let me pair it with dark jeans so I could be comfortable and warm. From the sweltering heat up here, Edward must have assumed I'd be cold from spending most of the night outside, but this was too warm. It would make it too easy to feel his coldness and he'd slip a blanket between us almost immediately.

"Edward, I'm sure wherever you are is within hearing distance and I want you to know that baking your new bride is not acceptable. As soon as I figure out how to work this very intimidating looking thermostat, I am turning the temperature down."

I heard his familiar laugh and to my surprise, it was coming out of our room. Okay, now I was beyond confused. If he'd been up here the whole time, why hadn't Alice just said that?

I pushed open the door, expecting to see him right away either at his desk or on the couch. But he wasn't either of those places.

"I heard you laugh, you sneaky vampire. Get out here and show me how to work this thermostat."

"No," he said from right beside me, making me jump.

"Jeez, Edward," I cried, giving a wasted effort to push him away. I stared at my hand touching his bare chest, not quite believing what I was feeling, and then looked up to him for confirmation.

"I'm afraid the temperature has to stay this way in order to maintain the heat you feel right now," he said, searching my eyes for approval.

I felt like it was someone else reaching out, touching his arms, his neck, his face, his chest—all _warm_. And just for me. "Thank you," I croaked, fighting the tears called up by his sweet gesture. "Is it uncomfortable at all?"

"No. It feels great, actually. It takes so much for us to feel the temperature differences and right now, I can feel the difference between the air and your hand. It's amazing, Bella."

"You're amazing," I replied, smiling up at him.

Seeing that I was very happy with this turn of events, he stepped closer, tangling his fingers up in my hair. Alice had released me from the tiara and many bobby pins earlier and Edward had been playing off and on in my hair ever since—at least he had before he'd disappeared to heat himself up.

"Bella, there's something you asked of me that I couldn't give you before for so many reasons. Many of them you know, but one I kept to myself, not able to articulate how much it upset me to think of it."

He parted his lips to say something more, but didn't. His eyes roamed over my face, searching for what I didn't know. I just gave him a reassuring smile and wrapped my hands around his, hoping it was what he needed.

He smiled for only a second and then his mouth began to inch closer to mine. My heart and breathing sped up in anticipation of our lips touching. What would it be like to kiss a warm Edward? Would it feel incredible? Would it take away that electrical feeling his cold kisses gave? What if he hated it? What if _I_ hated it?

Oh, yes! A moment of pure and unadulterated silly Bella complete with idiotic questions. This man was incapable of a bad kiss and that made me one very lucky woman. The way his lips commanded mine, alternating the pressure and intensity of the kiss … I was sweating! I was actually sweating and I was blown away by how it changed things. No goose bumps, no Edward pulling away to keep my teeth from chattering, and no shivering. Or at least not from the cold. His warm fingers under my shirt and sliding up and down my spine were causing plenty of shivering.

His hands left my back the same time that his lips moved away and I groaned from the loss of contact, earning me a breathy chuckle from Edward. I opened my eyes and found him reaching for my shirt. He twisted the fabric into his hands and looked right at me, waiting for me to tell him what to do.

I was stunned. What did this mean? Did he just want to explore each other a little, something we hadn't done in weeks due to the hours of wedding planning? Or did he want more than that? Had he changed his mind? And if so, why?

"We don't have to do anything. It's completely up to you," he whispered. I wasn't sure if I was seeing his apprehension or my own reflected back at me. Apparently, my arms had no issues because they shot right up, ready and waiting for him to pull the fabric over them.

The shirt disappeared and his strong arms wrapped around my torso, moving us just a little closer. His lips brushed over my shoulder while his fingers danced their way down to my bra strap. There was the briefest tugging sensation at my back followed almost immediately by the slight fall of my breasts. The bra fell to the floor between us and he kicked it away, stepping forward and pressing our now bare chests together. Twin sighs left our lungs and I wondered what his meant—I knew my own was one of disbelief and for a just a second, I worried I had somehow fallen asleep while waiting for him. I bit down on the inside of my cheek to verify my waking state, careful not to draw blood. That would certainly put an end to wherever this intimacy between us was headed.

His lips found mine again, kissing me both sweetly and senselessly. My arms found their way around his neck, pushing us even closer together, and a soft sound in his chest reverberated between us. Whatever that sound had been, it changed the feeling in the room and I could swear the air around us crackled from the heat of our bodies. His hands moved to my pants, tugging at the button and then pulling the zipper down, and not once did he stop kissing me or seem like he was about to put the brakes on things.

He seemed to finally realize pants could not come off the natural way during kissing and he released my lips. It took him a moment to stop staring at them and I knew he had been just as reluctant as me to stop for once. He was always saying he felt that way, but now I was finally seeing it.

He knelt before me and his lips kissed the skin of my stomach directly in front of him. I was breathing ridiculously loud by this point and I was pretty sure that even with his vampire hearing, he wouldn't be able to hear the house falling down around us over my sounds. His fingers slipped into the loops of my jeans and I stopped breathing, unable to do anything until he made another move, no matter what it might be.

He gave a gentle tug and the fabric started to make its way down my hips. My heart sputtered and then the loud breathing resumed, my ears popping from the sudden change. His lips followed the jeans, softly brushing my thigh, my knee, my calf, and ending at my ankle. He held my hip in one hand and used the other to help me step out of the jeans. I expected him to stand—actually, I expected him to put a stop to everything and tear out of the room like the hounds of hell were after him. What really happened was that he repeated his movements with my underwear, leaving me completely nude in front of him for the first time.

"Am I still warm to you?" he asked, standing in front of me again, his amber eyes locked only on my face. He was giving me respect in my very vulnerable state and I appreciated it greatly.

I pressed my hands to his stomach, just above where his jeans started. "Still warm," I confirmed, somehow managing to smile a little through the nerves I felt.

He didn't return it, though, remaining serious as he reached down and popped the button open on his pants. I couldn't take my eyes away from his and I wasn't sure if it was my attempt to return his respect or if I was just a big chicken. We'd never gone this far and I honestly hadn't thought anything like this was possible for him before my change.

I was so busy analyzing what was happening between us that I missed him stepping out the rest of his clothes and found myself shocked at my hands being a good bit lower than where I'd originally put them. "Is it still warm here too?" he whispered, his voice actually trembling enough for _me_ to hear it.

_If he isn't, then this is really going to be cold_, I thought as I wrapped my arms around his back and pulled my body flush with his. He was not cold. Not in the least. And I was not the only one breathing erratically anymore.

That sound from earlier rumbled through him and I lifted my eyes to his, silently asking him to explain. He smiled and kissed my forehead tenderly, his nose brushing against the roots of my hair. "It's a purr," he murmured. "It's something we do when very content … or aroused."

I pressed my lips together, afraid of biting down with my teeth and drawing blood. I had no idea why the thought was in my head or what I found so funny about it, but I was afraid Edward wouldn't find it the least bit funny and this incredible moment would end.

"What?" he asked, his lips curling up oddly as he fought to look stern.

"Errant thought," I replied, a giggle escaping me.

"Bella, tell me," he pleaded, the backs of his fingers brushing against the side of my face.

"You have to promise not to get mad and that you won't put your clothes back on."

He chuckled. "This must be good. Alright, my Bella. I promise. Now tell me what this mind of yours has conjured up."

"I was just thinking that …" The need to giggle forced me to stop and I struggled to swallow them all down before continuing. I blew out a breath and tried again. "The heat seems to have melted my vampire Edward away and replaced him with a very large kitten."

I waited for the wrath I always saw when Emmett took his teasing too far, but it never came. Instead, a predatory smile crept onto my beloved's face and he stepped forward, forcing me back toward the bed I knew was behind me. "No kitten here, Isabella. Just a lion." The words were accompanied by a slight growl and my eyes widened with both shock and excitement. He actually wanted this—whatever this might turn out to be—and best of all, he didn't seem afraid of hurting me for once.

He stepped forward again while I stepped back and before I even completely registered the bed touching the back of my knee, I was being gently laid in the middle of the bed. Edward hovered above me, cradling my head in one large hand and the other splayed against the small of my back. His amber eyes were so soft and loving as he stared at me and I hoped my own love for him was as visible.

His lips touched mine and I lifted up into the kiss, wanting nothing more than to give back the feelings he stirred inside of me. As usual, I was oblivious to everything when he kissed me and was shocked to find myself lying on top of him when the kiss ended.

He held my face and smiled softly at me, looking somewhere between worried and surprised.

"What is it?" I asked, putting my hands around his wrists. The fact that he was still warm had me singing the praises of that thermostat I'd been so annoyed at earlier.

"I know we haven't discussed this in some time, and that it was my idea to wait until after the change … But if you wanted, I promise I have the control."

"Not if I want, Edward. If _we_ want. Unanimous or not at all."

"Do you want, Bella?"

"Yes. You?"

"Very much so," he sighed, pulling me in for a small kiss. "You are so beautiful and I love you so much."

"It may not sound very manly, but I think you're beautiful too," I whispered, staring at my finger running along his collarbone and doing my best to ignore my stupid blushing.

I suddenly found my back against the mattress and Edward above me, his lips pulled up into a playful smile. "Beautiful? A kitten? Tsk, tsk, Bella. I'm starting to think you only love me for my charming personality and could care less about my body."

"Darn. I was hoping it would take you a few centuries to figure that one out," I chuckled, wrapping my arm around his neck and tangling my fingers in his silky hair.

His head dipped down to allow our lips to meet and we kissed for what felt like hours, our hands sometimes exploring, but mostly just holding us together. Gradually, our bodies started to brush against each other, our hands and legs becoming more active.

My legs opened and welcomed him closer at some point, but I couldn't have said with any certainty when it had happened. His kisses were too intoxicating for time to be of importance. His lips finally left mine, leaving a warm, moist trail from the side of my neck up behind my ear on the opposite side.

"Every dream pales in comparison to the reality of you," Edward murmured, the vibration hitting behind my ear and sending heat coursing throughout my body.

"The same for me," I breathed, tugging at his hair to get him closer.

He brought his eyes even with mine and I knew right away the time had finally come. "I swear I won't hurt you."

He'd never said those words before, not in this context and never with so much belief in himself. I was so full of pride and love for him that I wondered how it all fit inside of me. "I never thought you would."

We started off slow again, just kissing and holding each other. We took our time moving back up to wandering hands and rubbing legs, savoring every touch and kiss. One of his hands slipped between us and his thumb found the exact spot that was throbbing and aching for his touch. I pressed my lips to his shoulder, afraid the sounds I was making would scare him off. If anything, they encouraged him because he changed the angle and direction, engulfing me in heat and want.

When he felt I was sufficiently distracted, Edward slowly began to push forward. The stretching sensation was odd but not unpleasant as my body accepted his inside of me. For the most part, I stayed focused on how the ridges on his thumb felt against that sensitive area, but lost that ability once his tip pressed against that thin barrier inside of me.

"Relax, Love," he pleaded, kissing my cheeks and chin tenderly. "It'll hurt less if you aren't tensed."

I swallowed down my fear and managed to squeak out a reply. "That's great in theory, but not so much in practice."

"I've waited over a century for you and it was well worth it. Seeing the light sheen on your skin from sharing our love this way, feeling your hands all over me, and to actually be inside of you, Bella … It's unbelievable." The second my body relaxed under the spell of his words, he shifted forward and broke through, seating himself completely inside of me.

We didn't move. We didn't breath—not that he needed to. We just stared at each other, waiting to find out who was in more trouble. Was it me and the pain of losing my virginity? Or was it him fighting with the salty, stinging aroma of my blood?

I fought it. I really did. But the combination of the pain and knowing how this moment wasn't even supposed to be happening sent the tears streaming from my eyes and the sobs bubbling up from my lips.

Edward somehow managed to make me feel cradled between his arms, nuzzling my cheek with nose and whispering to me so quickly I could barely catch most of it. I did understand the important parts, though. He loved me, he would always love me, and he was sorry he had to hurt me for us to be together.

I pulled his face to mine, using the kiss to block out the pain and refocus on what actually mattered—we were united.

To my great and very pleased surprise, the pain didn't last long at all. We went from needy kisses that smeared my tears across our faces to passion filled ones that moved in time with the rocking of our bodies. The heat and the desire rose until we had nowhere else to go but down again, the thin ribbon between pleasure and ecstasy snapping and sending us fluttering back to Earth.

Or at least it felt that way for me. I was pretty sure Edward had enjoyed himself from the way purr after purr was rolling through his chest and vibrating against mine. I must have been partly delusional from the tiredness I suddenly felt because I started giggling.

"Not exactly the reaction I was going for," he said, brushing his lips over mine.

"I'm sorry. I just … This is one of those moments for me when I'm struggling to be sure I'm awake and the urge to pet you is not helping."

"What would help?" he asked, pulling my arm from around his neck and kissing the pulse point in my wrist.

"Tell me why now. Why did you change your mind?"

"I didn't want you to feel like you were losing your virginity to some cold, dead _thing_. I wanted it to truly be making love to your husband, and I thought the only way was to wait for your change so we would be the same temperature. I'd thought often of trying to heat my entire body and maintain it, but could only think of using water, which starts to lose its heat immediately. But standing in the middle of four large heaters and having a constant, even heat on me …" he shrugged his shoulder just a little. "It was one of those ideas so simple that you just never think of it."

I smiled and brushed his cheek with the fingers on the hand he was still holding. "Well, I would just like to tell you how brilliant you are and to thank you for an amazing experience, even with the pain."

"No, you're the one who should be thanked. Thank you for trusting me enough to let this happen, Bella."

"Was it very hard when I started to bleed?"

"I can honestly say it wasn't. I was so focused on finding out how much pain you were in that I didn't consciously think about it."

"Good," I said, giving him a big smile. And then a question popped into my head and practically burst its way out of my mouth. "Edward, how much longer do you figure you'll be warm?"

"Maybe a half hour. Even with the heat on, I can feel it fading. Why?"

I smirked and slid my finger along his collarbone. "It's just that I've heard from reliable sources the second time is much better than the first and I was hoping I wouldn't have to wait for the change to find that out."

His lips pulled up into a smile that mirrored my own. "No, I don't think waiting would be wise on such an important matter."

Oh, yes! Warm, intimate Edward was definitely the best Edward. And he was _all mine_.

* * *

SO I was as stunned as Bella, as excited as Alice, and as nervous as Edward about this chapter. I had no idea he was going to pull this on me. The rough outline I had clearly stated no honeymoon and no lovin' until after the change. Shows what I know--or at least that I'm not nearly as in charge as I think when I start to write these stories. And now I'm off to update the website and then begin work on Chapter 7 because apparently, these two are not done with me yet. I have no idea how many more chapters there will be since I'd only outlined six and Edward has shifted everything around on me. But we shall see!!! Have a lovely weekend, Readers!


	7. Home

**It all belongs to SM. ** I am lucky to dabble with them.

**Home**

**Bella's POV:**

I woke up to find myself wrapped up in a blanket and buckled into the passenger seat of the Volvo. It was still dark outside and the only light I could see came from the glow of the dashboard instruments.

"How are you feeling, Love?" Edward asked as he watched me stretch and yawn.

"A little sore, a little tired, and extremely happy," I answered, putting my head against his arm. I'd meant my words, too. I knew exactly where we were heading and that tonight would be the start of three excruciating days for both Edward and me, but I was ready for it. I was ready to get it done, move past it, and start my life with my new family.

Edward took my hand and pulled it to his lips, kissing the sensitive inside of my wrist. "There's food and drink in a cooler on the backseat or we can stop somewhere if you like."

"I'm fine for now. Was there any particular reason you just plopped me in the car without waking me?"

"Only that I'm excited to rejoin our family and see the new house with you and I couldn't wait any longer to leave."

"Our first real home together, Edward. Our room will truly be yours and mine. Am I silly for being excited about that?"

He smiled and quickly stole a kiss before focusing on the pitch black road again. "If you are, then so am I, Love."

"Has Esme or Alice given you any clues?"

"Not a one."

"How did you get these sweats past Alice?" I asked as I surveyed the clothing Edward had dressed me in. "The last pair I snuck into the house mysteriously disappeared before I even got them out of the dryer."

"Bella, you can and should tell Alice 'no' from time to time. I'm not denying she has great taste in clothing, but you should also own outfits that you find comfortable."

"I do tell her 'no'. But then a lot of the time, I decide she's right and give in."

Edward smiled and squeezed my fingers lightly. "It's going to be a long eternity with you and Alice. Amazing. But long."

"I really hope I remember you saying that later on because I want to be able to pinch you for it and have you feel it."

He laughed. He actually laughed.

So I did the only thing a mature, newly married twenty-something could do. I folded my arms and pouted.

That made him laugh harder.

His cell phone rang and his smile disappeared instantly. There was only type of issue that would warrant a call to his phone on our wedding night and it wasn't a good one. He flipped the phone open and did that low, quick talking thing that made it impossible for me to hear what he was saying. He nodded his head a few times and then he put the phone away—like _that_ was the end of things.

"Edward, who called?"

"Alice."

"What did she say?"

"Nothing of importance. You should try to sleep. It may help you to be rested beforehand."

"And it will help _you_ if you tell me what the h—e—l—l is going on."

He turned his face toward me, trying to use his amber eyes to do that crazy Jedi mind trick thing to me. "Isabella, don't be so quick to assume the worst."

But I wasn't having any of that crap tonight. "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, so help me, if you don't tell me what Alice said."

"Definitely a wet kitten," he chuckled, caressing the side of my face with a single finger. "And while I find your anger amusing, it is completely misplaced. If that phone call had pertained to you in anyway, I would share it with you. But it didn't so I'm won't."

"If it—"

His finger pressed against my lips and stopped my argument, not that it had been completely formed anyway. I just wanted to know what the creepy phone call was about so I wouldn't think up something ten times worse.

"I an ill alk ith u ringer there." Okay, so maybe I couldn't really talk with his finger in the way, but I damn sure gave it a try.

"Most stubborn in existence," Edward said with a laugh as he pulled his finger away. "All you need to know, Mrs. Cullen, is that no one is in danger and nothing threatening has been done or will be done."

I could see he wasn't going to be tell me and I didn't want to spend our first night or day or whatever it was fighting. So I unbuckled and unwrapped myself and focused on picking something out of the cooler to snack on; nothing like an argument to get the stomach awake enough for eating.

****************************************

The sun was just starting to rise when Edward turned off the highway and onto a barely there patch of road. It wound its way through the trees and snow and then curved around a wall of rock.

Only that wall of rock was actually the back end of our new home. It was cut into the side of a mountain, like something Frank Lloyd Wright would have built. It even had a waterfall like on his Falling Waters home, but this one emptied into a small pond that was completely frozen over. Some of the icycles looked bigger than me.

The front of the house was adorned with the tallest and widest windows I'd ever seen and I was sure the view would be stunning even if the only thing visible were the tops of the snow covered trees. But knowing the Cullen family so well, I doubted that was the only view available.

We climbed a set of stairs cut into the rock and reached a set of double doors made of mahogany with ornate bronze hardware and hinges. There was even a bronze knocker on one of the doors and when I looked closer, I realized the base was the Cullen Crest.

"Go on," Edward encouraged. "Knock and let them know we're home."

"I'm sure they just heard you. In fact, they probably heard the car as soon as we turned onto the road."

He leaned closer and whispered so softly into my ear. "Humor them please and knock. They're waiting to throw the doors open and welcome us."

I couldn't help but smile at being so wanted and I wrapped my hand around the handle, giving it two good knocks before stepping back. I'd learned to move away from doors when they wanted to surprise me—specifically when Emmett was a part of the surprise.

The thick doors opened soundlessly and revealed my family, all of them smiling and looking happy to see us—even Rosalie.

"Welcome to Rocky Retreat," Emmett announced, his voice echoing off the rocks slightly.

"Emmett, no one is calling it that but you," Alice told him.

"It's not as bad as some of his other ideas," Jasper replied. I wasn't sure if he was taking up for Emmett or just trying to keep the peace.

"Yeah, Boulder Bodega was not appreciated," Emmett informed me.

Esme pushed past each of them and wrapped her arms around me. "Welcome home, Bella."

"Yeah, what she said," Emmett, Jasper, and Alice echoed.

I was ushered into the house and had pretty much everyone talking to me at once, but none of it could draw my eyes away from the gorgeous interior. Right in the middle of the home, going straight up through both levels of the house, was a glassed in greenhouse full of bold and beautiful tropical plants and one massive looking tree. Sprinklers must have been set into the ceiling because the mist that had been falling down over everything suddenly stopped.

"I've made a few improvements," Esme mentioned, leading me closer to the glass. "Like allowing us to have something green to see to combat all the white outside, and to remind us of Forks. But the majority of the home is untouched, especially the exposed ceiling beams in each room. They make the rooms seem bigger and airier to me."

I finally pried my eyes away from the greenery and took a look at the rest of the room. The wood and furniture were dark colors, but the white walls and rugs worked with the many windows to keep the room bright and cheery.

"Her bedroom now!" Alice pretty much shouted as she picked me up and ran up the stairs with me.

"Alice, we should wait—" I didn't bother with the "for everyone else" that was on the tip of my tongue because they were already standing behind us. "Hi, Carlisle. Missed you earlier," I said, trying to act like I wasn't unsettled by them all appearing that way. And for the most part, I wasn't—I was looking forward to being able to do that my own very soon.

Carlisle chuckled. "Emmett was in front of me."

"Bells, close your eyes," Alice commanded.

"Not on your pixie vampire eternity," I replied, moving away from her and toward Edward. The last time I'd fallen for that close your eyes stuff, I'd opened them to find myself in a ridiculously short and tight dress.

Alice stuck out her bottom lip and batted her lashes. "Edward, make her play along."

He only chuckled and tightened his hold on me.

She sighed and dropped her hands from her hips. "Fine. If Bella wants to be stubborn and not even close her eyes for two tiny seconds …"

"She's not going to fall for it, Alice. Just open the door already," Emmett told her. "Ain't none of us getting any younger here."

I had this really witty retort about how I was the only one getting older, but I didn't think Edward would appreciate it, so I kept it to myself. Some days, his inability to read my mind _really_ came in handy.

Alice finally opened the door to the room and pranced her way inside. "I'm slightly jealous and I _love_ my room," she said as she moved to let me get a glimpse of the room.

The walls were pale yellow and the curtains were a shade of blue I couldn't name, but they went perfectly together and with the furniture in the room. It was literally like stepping back into time, when bedroom sets were huge and bulky and unbelievably beautiful. The bed was gorgeous—a sleigh bed with only the slightest curve to it and a matching footstool just in front. There was even a matching nightstand, wardrobe, and dresser with mirror. The rug on the hardwood floor had pale yellows, pinks, and blues, mixed in with some darker greens, giving it a very earthy feel. There was a second rug, just as white and fluffy as the one downstairs in the living room, sitting in front of the small fireplace that was all our own. And set on each end of the dresser with the mirror where two white vases full of freesia. The beauty of it all forced me to pinch my thigh and make sure I wasn't dreaming.

"Bella?" Esme called.

I realized I was standing in the middle of the room and hadn't really spoken or moved yet. "Um …"

"Sweetheart, if you want us to change something," she offered.

"No!" I cried. "Not a thing. No one touches this room! I'm not even touching anything until I'm sure I won't break it."

Emmett snorted at me, but I ignored him.

"Esme, this is so beautiful and I love it," I said as I hugged her. "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure. Edward, what do you think?" she asked as we turned to look at him.

But he was gone and no one could remember exactly when they'd seen him last. I looked around the room again and to Esme. "It's from his era, isn't it?"

She nodded. "I should have asked. I just assumed he would like it."

"I doubt it's that he doesn't like it," I said, trying to reassure her. "I'll just go find our beloved grump and see if I can't get a straight answer out of him."

"Just a few tiny words of advice," Alice whispered into my ear. "Stay back until he asks for you and don't call him a grump. He's in the garage."

"Which would be?"

"Down the stairs, take a right, and it's just beyond where the cliff side ends."

I followed Alice's instructions and I could hear the music coming out of the building long before I reached it. It looked nearly as big as the massive garage back in Forks.

I knocked on the door only to get him to turn down the music, which he did immediately. It took a couple of tries to slide the door open, but I managed it. Edward was sitting on a stool at the work bench, twirling a large crescent wrench in his hands like it was nothing more than a pen. His lips were pulled down into a fierce scowl and he didn't even lift his head to look my way or say anything to acknowledge my presence. It had been a long time since I'd seem him so upset.

"That was pretty rude of you to take off without telling anyone. Or without thanking Esme for our beautiful room."

He said nothing; he only continued to twirl that silver tool.

"If you don't like it, I'm certain Esme will order us different furniture. Would you prefer something more modern? Maybe we could ask her to do a Japanese theme."

His lips twitched just a little.

"Unless you're much older than you've admitted, spent time in Japan, and failed as a samurai warrior. But since they were warriors sworn to protect the nobility of the land, I don't see you failing at that. Not after the lengths I've seen you go to in order to protect our family."

"Come here." Two words said with not a lot of emphasis, but I listened to them anyway. Once I was close enough, his arms wrapped securely around me and he buried his face in my hair.

My own arms went around his neck and my fingers got lost in his coppery, silky hair. "I love you, Edward."

"I behaved horribly to Esme."

"She'll forgive you."

"She always does," he replied, making it sound like it was a bad thing. "You and she are a lot alike in that regard."

"With love comes compromise and forgiveness. I don't remember who said that, I just know from experience how very true it is."

A small groan escaped him as he moved his forehead to rest on my shoulder. "I really wish Emmett would shut up already."

"What's he thinking?"

"That I need to get my rear end inside and apologize before he makes me."

"I'm surprised he's the one saying it."

"Trust me, they're all thinking it, but he's the loudest. As usual."

"So much for them leaving it up to me to find out what's bothering you."

"No secrets, Bella," he reminded me.

"Exactly," I agreed. "So tell me why you left."

He lifted his head and his expression was so sad and sorrowful. "One of the things I'm afraid you'll have no choice but to learn about is the frustration that comes with not remembering. I know what period that furniture is from. I'm sure pieces just like it must have been in the home I grew up in. But when I tried to recall it, there was nothing. There are a few blurred images of my mother and father, and the keys of a piano. Those three days, they stripped away so much more than my disease and my humanity. Bella, I … I feel sick and guilty that I'm actually going to allow you to go through this."

"_Allow_ … I hate that word. It makes it seem like it isn't my choice. Like it isn't necessary for us to have the live we agreed we wanted. And another thing, Mr. Cullen," I said, poking him in the chest even though it did nothing. "I don't want to hear anything about how you lost your humanity. Do you think Mike Newton has more kindness and compassion than you do? Or Angela? Well, okay, you probably don't have more than Angela, but she's on her way to sainthood or something with her ability to be nice to Jessica and Lauren."

That crooked grin I adored so much made its appearance on his face. "You're not funny."

"You're smiling," I countered, pointing at his grin.

"I'm beginning to think you absorbed parts of each of my family's personalities while you were sleeping. I keep getting glimpses of them in the things you say and do. If I didn't know better, I would have sworn Emmett had told you to say that."

"You make it sound like that's a bad thing."

"No, not bad. Just unusual."

I shrugged. "You have to admit no one can do unusual quite like I can."

My words got a real laugh out of him. He pulled me closer and I could see the sorrow in his amber eyes had melted into that tender look he so often gave me. "I would never try to deny it, Love."

"So can we keep the room?" I asked, really wanting him to agree. I would never want him to be uncomfortable, though, so if he didn't want it, I would live with that.

"We can keep the room," he replied.

I totally did a victory dance where I didn't actually dance and just smiled instead. "Thank you."

"Come on, Silly Bella. Let's go inside so I can apologize to Esme and let her know how much I like the room."

"Well if you had stuck around, Silly Vampire, then there wouldn't be a need to apologize. Though, I must say, the garage is impressive. Rose is going to like tinkering around in there."

Edward winced and seconds later, I heard the perfect lilt of Rosalie's voice. "I. Do. _Not_. Tinker."

"Sorry, Rosalie! You know I'm horrible with car lingo," I told her.

"Tinker," Emmett chuckled. "Sounds a lot like—"

"For the love of all that is holy, don't do it man!" Jasper begged.

"And you want to join _this_ for pretty much ever?" Rosalie asked, quirking one perfectly golden eyebrow at me.

I smiled wide, my heart full of conviction that my answer was the right one. "Yep."

"Bells, you're going to love being a vamp," Emmett said as he took me under one massive arm. "Let's discuss possible activities for your upcoming newborn status."

"Emmett, if you don't return my wife to me immediately, you _will_ regret it," Edward promised.

"Actually, Edward," Carlisle interrupted. "It's time that you and I head out to prepare ourselves for the night ahead."

Edward nodded stiffly, looking as though Carlisle had just told him to walk the plank over shark infested water—_Damn Emmett and his pirate stories_, I thought before focusing on Edward again.

I pulled away from Emmett and took Edward's hand into mine. "No worries and no regrets. Remember?"

He nodded and gave me a tired smile.

"Just keeping thinking about how when this all over you can give her the kind of affection you really feel for her," Jasper said, laying a hand on Edward's shoulder. I hoped Jasper wasn't trying to calm or reassure Edward—as much as I wanted this to happen, he had to want it as well.

Edward nodded again and leaned forward to kiss me. "I'll see you tonight."

I grinned and stepped away to show him I was still ready for all of this. "You better. Or I'll make Emmett and Jasper track you down for me."

He moved too quickly for me to see, wrapping me up in his arms as his lips brushed against my ear. "I'll be back. And when I return, I _will_ make you mine completely and for eternity, Isabella."

Most of breath left me in a gasp at his possessive words and the rest was stolen by his fiery kiss. Sexy husband? Check. Loving family? Huge check. The opportunity to live this way forever … _Priceless_!

* * *


	8. A True Love Bite

**It all belongs to SM. ** I am lucky to dabble with them.

**A True Love Bite**

**Bella's POV:**

The change was coming soon. I wanted to give it a better name, something peppy enough to be worthy of Alice, cheerful enough to make Emmett smile, and soothing enough for Edward. But I just couldn't come up with anything that didn't involve the words bite or death. Hallmark didn't make any cards for the occasion either—I'd checked.

Jasper was going to go with Rosalie to visit the Denali sisters. He had offered to stay, but Alice and I had agreed it was safer for everyone if he wasn't feeling my pain and later my hunger. We had no idea what I would be like as a newborn and we didn't want to risk any accidents. For all we know, I could end up being an empathic like Jasper and we could be throwing pain and hunger throughout the house like dynamite in a rock quarry—a comparison compliments of Emmett. From what Em had explained, it was awesome to watch the rocks fly, not so great to be underneath when they landed again. He promised he would show me once I wasn't breakable as long as I promised to protect him from Edward. It was a total deal.

"Want a last meal?" Alice asked. She must have already known what my answer would be because she didn't even look up from her magazine.

But I said it out loud anyway. "No."

"How about a last Bella Barbie? If I pluck your brows now, you'll never need it again."

"Aw! I was so looking forward to chopping my hair off at twilight just to have it grow back at dawn."

"Wrong vampires," Emmett replied, completely missing my sarcasm. "Glad I missed the puffy shirt stage. I would have hated wearing girly-ass clothing like that."

Alice and I locked eyes and then started giggling because at that very moment, Emmett was in a pink polo shirt Rose had gotten him for Christmas.

I sobered up and took Alice's hand, squeezing her fingers as hard as I could. "Ali, I have a favor to ask of you."

She sighed, her amber eyes looking so sad. "I know."

"I'm asking a lot, aren't I?"

"Bells, I'm afraid you're asking the impossible this time."

"What?" I cried, so sure she had to be mistaken. "It's just one thing. Just keep me from saying anything that will hurt Edward's feelings."

"The only way to do that would be to send him off to the Denali sisters and he would _never_ allow that."

I nodded, not liking the answer but knowing she was right. "How bad will it be?"

Alice shrugged and tucked her knees up to her chin. "I don't know. It changes. But I gave him advance warning that it will be the pain talking and not you."

"Was that the phone call he got in the car?"

Alice's eyes quickly darted away from mine.

"What don't I know?"

"It doesn't matter," Alice said, moving to sit beside me.

"Oh, God," I croaked. "Who's coming?"

"Bella, I promise there's nothing to worry about. No one is coming."

"If one of _them_ is coming, there is _so_ something to worry about."

"No one is coming. So just stop with the last minute human crazy act."

"You better be right, Ali."

Alice gave me a big fake smile. "So about the plucking?"

I rolled my eyes, but we both knew I was going to agree. It would be worth the pain to be forever done with plucking. Besides, I could use the time to try once more and get to the bottom of this phone call business.

******************************************

**Edward's POV:**

"Edward, have you decided on your approach?" Carlisle asked as we walked back toward the house.

He'd explained both the clinical and the amorous approaches, giving me the pros and cons of each. My biggest pro for clinical was Bella's safety and the biggest con for amorous was the chance she would always equate my lips on her neck as being a source of pain. If she remembered. I truly hoped she would keep so many more memories than I had. And even if she didn't, I knew she'd written it all down. She had the unique opportunity to prepare completely for this and I knew she was ready for it. I was ready as well, but still feeling some guilt.

I was also very concerned about the request Alice had seen Bella make. "Carlisle, did Alice tell you of her latest vision?"

"The only visions I've spoken with her about concerned your arrival with Bella."

"You know that Bella was looking over the notes you made after you changed each of us."

"Notes you were not thrilled with her seeing."

"Because each and every one speaks of the endless hours of pain and suffering. It's bad enough she has to go through it without reading about it and worrying herself over it."

"She doesn't seem worried to me, Edward. She seems ready."

"I know," I said, my fingers automatically going to the bridge of my nose. And then I thought of how Bella enjoyed mimicking this exact motion and I smiled. "She really is much too observant at times."

"What exactly has she done to upset you this way?" Carlisle asked. He sat on a fallen log and indicated for me to join him.

I sat there without speaking for quite awhile, listening to the concerned but hopeful thoughts of my father. He expected everything to turn out just fine even though I would be the one administering the bite and venom. If it were anyone but Bella, I would probably have agreed I could do it without error. But she was my life and a mistake with her would cost us both our lives, not to mention the hurt it would cause our family.

"Edward."

I lifted my face and regarded Carlisle. "She's going to ask me to bite her next to her heart. She's read your theories about venom injection sites, as well as articles on the human circulatory system. She thinks if I bite her near her heart, the change will happen quicker."

"She may be right in that. I've wondered about it myself. Still, so close to the heart that way, if you drank too deeply or applied too much pressure …" '_We could lose them both_' his thoughts finished for him.

"That's my exact thought. How do I explain that the risk is too great in a way Bella will understand?"

Carlisle smiled and gripped my shoulder. "Usually by voicing your concern."

"That works with you and Esme, and can even work with Emmett on rare occasions. But with Bella, she tends to take it as she's not being allowed equal decision making."

"That may have more to do with you starting out with a 'no' rather than explaining all of the factors first. You have shown yourself to be overprotective, and at times even a bit condescending, when it comes to Bella."

"I've worked hard these last months to show her I can be relaxed and to allow her more compromises."

"She knows that, Edward. And I'm sure she will take that into account when you explain why it's such a danger. Personally, I would be reluctant to try that close and I've done this before."

"Then I'll try it your way. I'll explain the dangers first and then I'll refuse her idea. In exchange, I'll let her decide between the two approaches you and I discussed."

Carlisle's smile widened. "I'm proud of you, Edward. A good husband, a good _man_, knows when to share decisions and you're learning quickly."

I smiled, feeling a little proud of myself, but mostly of Bella for sticking with me through everything. "I don't suppose you have any suggestions for how to convince her to accept gifts."

Carlisle laughed loudly and clapped me on the back. "Son, that problem is solely your own."

"I was afraid of that."

"But do I have one small idea that I will forever deny if Bella somehow finds out this came from me."

I could feel my eyebrow arching as I waited for him to say more.

"She knows how guilty you're going to feel for the pain of the change. You could always let her know how much better you feel after giving her a gift to apologize. Though, I doubt it would work on her for any longer than a month after."

I rubbed my chin with my hand, turning his words over in my mind and trying to envision Bella's reaction. And then I turned toward my father and smiled. "Carlisle, that's most devious and brilliant idea. Thank you."

"Come on," he said with a laugh as we rose to our feet. "We should be getting back to make the final preparations in the basement."

"Alice turned into a comfortable room, right?" I asked, not having a chance to check it myself earlier.

Carlisle's lips pulled up into a smirk. "It's Alice, Edward. What do you think?"

******************************************

**Bella's POV:**

"And don't let him stay with me if I get too delirious and say stupid things that he'll take to heart and never forget," I warned Alice and Emmett.

"If you just let me tie him up and take him away, there'd be no reason to worry," Emmett replied. For the _eighth_ time.

"Once again, oh brainless wonder, you will not like what happens when he gets free and he _will_ get free," Alice replied.

"Yeah, yeah," Emmett said with a roll of his eyes. "Strength beyond imagining when fueled by raw anger. I get it."

"Let's not put that to the test, Emmett," I said quickly, seeing that little mischievous gleam in his eyes. There was a voice that went along with it that swore his idea was the best ever—there had to be. Why else would he ignore all of the sane, rational arguments everyone gave him for not going through with his crazy schemes?

"Sure, Bells. I'll behave." His words were a promise, but that smile on his lips sure wasn't.

"Emmett, I'm serious."

"So am I."

"Damn it, man!" I jumped up from the bed and stood over him, pulling his hand up—or maybe saying he allowed me to pull it up would be more accurate. Either way, I wrapped my pinky around his. "Pinky swear, Emmett Cullen."

Emmett grunted and then muttered in a sulky tone. "Dirty rotten human." He must not have known that I knew of his one weakness—the pinky swear. Jasper had told me he'd been the first to discover it on accident and that it was used sparingly for fear that they'd lose the only way they had to curb Emmett's behavior. Rose was lucky; she just threatened no sex.

"Sure, sure," I told Emmett. "It's all the human's fault and not the vamp who's determined to piss my husband off. Now swear."

"Fine," he huffed. "I pinky swear to behave myself and not make Edward crazy. Though I fail to see how that's going to be possible since the dude has got to have some screws loose from being repressed all these years."

"Any screw that might have been loose was fixed last night and then some." It really must have been the fact that we'd kept something kind of private for once since everyone was acting like they hadn't left us behind in Forks last night. That was the only explanation I could come up with for the word vomit that spewed out of my mouth and caused my cheeks to burn while Emmett and Alice rolled around on the floor in hysterics. If they could have cried from laughing so hard, they damn sure would have been.

"Really, Alice and Emmett," Esme scolded as she glided into the room. "There's nothing that could be so humorous as to cause this ruckus you two are making. So help me, if you two are the first to break something."

"Esme, ask her what she said," Emmett howled through his laughter, still on his back and pointing one huge finger my way.

"I don't know what he's talking about, Esme," I lied.

Esme knew it too, but she smiled and hugged me as if she didn't. "Are you nervous at all, Bella?"

"I'd be an idiot not to be nervous. But I'm still ready."

"So I am," a perfectly velvet voice said from behind me.

"Edward!" His name was barely out of my mouth before I had my arms and legs wrapped around him.

He held me tightly and pressed his face into my hair, both of us sighing in relief and peace now that we were together again. I wondered for probably the millionth time if my change would ease the aches we both felt when apart.

"We're all set, Edward," Alice announced. "We have a very comfortable bed made up in the corner. We have a mini fridge full of nearly frozen washcloths. Extra sets of light clothing. And the CD player is loaded with eight of Bella's favorite classical musicians."

"Give us just a few minutes alone and we'll call for you all when we're ready," he told her, his words slightly muffled by my hair.

By the time I had lifted my head off his shoulder to look at him, the room was clear. "Are you really ready? I would understand if you needed a few more hours."

Edward chuckled and pressed his forehead to mine. "I could have a few more years and still not be any more ready."

"Like hell you could. No way am I going to be twenty-three while you stay seventeen."

"You would still look beautiful."

"I would look too old for you."

"Doubtful."

I couldn't help the frown that took over my face. "Stop that, please. You know my mind is made up on this."

"I know. And I assure you mine is also set on this course. But I can't help the guilt I feel."

"I'm sorry about that," I said as I ran my fingers through his bronze locks, hoping my touch would sooth him a little. "If I could take your guilt away, I would."

"And I would take your pain."

I smiled at him. "I'd never let you."

He chuckled and touched his lips to mine for too short a time. "Stubborn. I love you, Isabella."

"I love you, too, Edward."

He moved us across the room and we settled down together on the bed. Actually, the mattress. We didn't want any accidents so Alice hadn't bothered with a full bed set. He lifted my hand and my wedding rings caught the sunlight streaming through the small basement window located high up on the wall. Even if I got super jumping skills from the change, I couldn't fit through that window. Safety first.

Edward's lips brushed over my knuckle and then he pressed my hand over his silent heart, his amber eyes full of so many emotions as he looked at me. "Bella, is there anything you would like to ask me before we bring the family in and start?"

"Well … I did some research."

He snorted. "You've become quite proficient with googling things, haven't you, Love?"

"This was actually done with Carlisle's notes and medical books."

He gave me a wary look but nodded his head for me to continue.

"I was reading about Carlisle's theory on how the closer to the heart the bite is, and the more venom that's pumped in, it might lead to a quicker change. I thought it might be worth a shot."

"Did his notes talk of the dangers of an injection close to the heart?"

"Not really. He'd just kind of scribbled the idea in the margin."

"He does that when he feels his theories are too dangerous for testing. You should see some of his ideas for battling cancer."

"No, a doctor who might be able to test them should."

"The good ideas, the ones he feels the strongest about, make their way into the right hands. But if he's not sure it's safe, it's just a scribble. But we are getting off topic. We are talking about the bite theory."

"What do you consider to be the dangers?"

"If I bite too close to the heart, I could easily drink too much from you. If I suck too hard, I could collapse an artery. If the bite puts too much distress on your heart, you could go into cardiac arrest. The margin of error far outweighs any possible benefits, Bella. If I were to loose you—"

"No need," I said quickly, putting my hand over his lips. "We know where that road goes already. So that idea is out. Thank you for talking to me about it and not just calling me silly or getting angry."

"Thank you for listening and not being stubborn."

I laughed as I wrapped my arms around him and hugged myself against his side. "We are getting pretty good at this give and take compromise stuff, Cullen."

"We are certainly trying, Mrs. Cullen."

"Oh, that's right," I said with another laugh. "You can't use Swan on me anymore."

"Only if I compare you to one."

"Yeah, I guess I was sort of an ugly duckling before Alice came along with her torture products and crazy shopping habits."

"I heard that!" Alice bellowed.

"Anything you want to ask _me_ before we get started?" I asked, looking up at Edward's face.

He smiled, a mixture of hope and sadness showing in his expression. What I wouldn't give to be able to duct tape my mouth and not hurt this man with anything I might say. Jasper had warned me how excruciating it was and that like those before me, I'd probably beg for death at some point. I knew Edward could deal with yelling and screaming, but he would never forget my words if I asked for that. It was the one thing I had wanted Alice to keep me from saying. But she couldn't help so I would just have to find a way to keep my mouth shut on my own.

"Bella, we have two ways we can do this. We can be very clinical about it, where everyone is with us and you turn your head toward the wall while I count down before biting. Or we can try to make it a loving experience. We could be alone to kiss and hug each other and once the family hears me bite, they'll come in to help me make sure things go according to plan. The first option is definitely safer for you. The second has its nice points, but I worry that you might equate my lips on your neck with pain."

"So I'm getting a choice?" I asked, wanting to be really clear about this.

"Yes."

"Can I offer a third option?"

He seemed both surprised and relieved at my question. "Please."

"Our family is with us, surrounding us with their love and support. Alice holds my hand while Emmett stands behind you, ready to help if needed. Carlisle and Esme will be with us, too. And after you give me my last kiss as your human wife, I'll turn my head for you to do it in the way that feels safest to you. I think that would make it a true love bite."

I didn't need Jasper or anyone else to tell me that Edward was feeling gratitude right then. It was written all over his face and was carried in the kiss he planted on my lips. He was still going to be miserable while I was in pain, he would still feel guilty for a time after, but he had no doubts we would do this with as much love and care as possible. And when it was over, I would truly be his in all ways. And with as long as he'd waited for me, he truly deserved it.

"You can all come in," Edward said. His eyes were still trained on me and his hands caressed my face so lovingly and lightly. These next three days would be hard, but after they were done, he would finally be able to touch me like he wanted without worrying about hurting me.

Alice's fingers wrapped around mine and I could see Emmett's large shoes from the corner of my eye. Esme and Carlisle both said words of love and support, but it was so hard to concentrate on anything but Edward's amber eyes. So many emotions were showing on his usually neutral face: love, hope, devotion, guilt, determination. And those were only the ones I was really positive about.

Edward and Alice helped me to lay flat on the mattress and then I turned my head, my eyes focusing on my sister. "Love you, Ali."

"Love you too, Bells."

"We'll see you on the other side," Emmett said, making me laugh a little.

"Relax as much as you can, Bella," Carlisle instructed.

"And know that we will be at your side throughout," Esme added.

"I love you," Edward whispered into my ear before placing a soft kiss on my neck. He wasn't even touching me and I could feel the tension in his body—I hated that this was so hard on him but I knew it was right for him to be the one to change me.

He must have agreed because I heard "mine forever" tumble from his lips as he kissed my neck again. I heard his inhale and then I felt his sharp teeth sink into my body, ripping through the skin and muscle and hitting the vein that would change our lives forever.

I tried to stay quite and aware, focusing on Alice's eyes, but the pain was to intense and after the first few screams I passed out.

I didn't stay passed out.

Not for long.

But I did all I could to keep my mouth shut during my periods of waking, including biting right through my lip. They tried a mouth guard to keep me from doing it again, but I bite it in half within minutes.

Edward tried a different approach after that. "Isabella, please listen to me. I promise that I know anything you say in your pain isn't what lies in your heart. You've already laid it bare and given it to me, so please believe I know your real wish is to make it through this and start our eternity. Stop trying to protect me and focus on yourself now, Love. You can scream, yell, tell me to go, and even beg for death, and all I will do is stay right here at your side and remind you of how much you are loved."

His words gave me a peace in my head that wasn't in my body and though I know I yelled and screamed and tore at my clothing to put out the fire inside, I was fairly certain I wouldn't utter the words I had been fearing for weeks.

It wasn't long after that, that the pain became too intense to allow for awareness of my surroundings and I retreated into my mind as far as I could, going back to my wedding reception and the sounds of my family laughing and telling me they loved me. This was a good place to be until I could get back to Edward and our family.

* * *

I am so amazed and glad that you guys are loving this story so far. Still have no clear idea of how many chapters you can expect, but I know that's at least a couple more on the way for now.

And remember that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. I've got links to how you can help raise money with just a few mouse clicks on the October is Pink page of my website. Zip on over and find out how you can help today.

Have a great weekend, lovely readers!!


	9. Waking Up Vampire

**It all belongs to SM. ** I am lucky to dabble with them.

I had outlined this whole thing where Bella slowly wakes in Edward's arms and it's all cute and fluffy. Bella ripped it to pieces and set it on fire, and then slammed a new outline in front of me. She said to write it her way or she'd have Emmett sit on me. I'm too young to die as a pancake, so here you go!

* * *

**Waking Up Vampire**

**Edward's POV:**

My heart couldn't beat but it was fully capable of hurting and did so as I listened to Bella give her love to our family. We were ready for this, we agreed it was best, but my stomach still turned at the thought of hurting her. And I still had to go through with it.

"I love you," I promised her before shifting my lips from her ear to her neck. Her vein throbbed against my mouth and it instantly filled with venom. Part of me wanted to swallow it down and scold us both for ever agreeing to this. Another part was tense and full of gleeful anticipation, remembering the sweet taste of her blood and the way it had filled me like no other. There was a third part, the biggest part, the only one that mattered—that side wanted to be perfect with the bite and do everything possible to help her make it through and become mine forever. The last two words escaped my lips as I pressed one last kiss to her warm neck.

I pulled in a deep breath and closed the tiny distance between her neck and my teeth, sinking them in as quickly as I could and immediately starting to pump the venom into her system. Slow breaths through my nose kept me from getting overwhelmed with her scent and my mind stayed focused on judging how much venom I was giving her. The supportive thoughts of my family and Bella's screams threatened to tear my concentration away, but I held on for her. Everything was always and would always be for her.

"Enough," Carlisle instructed, lightly gripping my shoulder.

The monster in me made an appearance and gave a might roar, wanting to ignore Carlisle's words and continue drinking the sweetest nectar that had ever touched this tongue. I had feared that part of me for so long, always terrified he would be stronger than the man in me that loved Bella with every fiber of my being. But in the end, the monster's roar was only a whimper—he was rendered powerless by our love.

********

"Edward," Alice croaked, squeezing my fingers tightly and I hers.

We were only a few hours into the change with so many more to go. I didn't want to even think about all the pain that still lay ahead for Bella.

"She wants this, Alice," I said, reminding us both of that fact.

"I know, but to see her hurting like this. I'm so sorry. I heard all of you talk about it, but this isn't what I envisioned. I really was lucky to not have been aware through mine."

"She's calmer now." It was all I could think of to sooth my sister as I pressed a fresh cold towel to Bella's sweaty forehead.

"Your words really helped her," Alice said, her voice low and small and completely unlike her. "She was so worried about how you would react if she said something awful."

"We all begged for an end to the suffering," Carlisle said, his hand gripping my shoulder. "It was unavoidable and temporary."

Esme's hand gently massaged my other shoulder. "And most of us were immediately glad for the new life after. Some took a little longer to be thankful for eternity."

I smiled at her words as I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Bella's temple. Her body temperature was already dropping, despite her sweating. "We love you, Bella. We are all here for you and we will be here to welcome you when you wake."

********

"Does she have to be all still like that?" Emmett asked, breaking the silence.

We were in the final stages now and the beat of Bella's dying heart sounded similar to water droplets leaking slowly from a faucet, but instead of a plink we heard a thump. Each of us was ready for the final beat and for the tension we all felt to break away.

"How else would she sleep?" Alice questioned.

"She could move a little. She always talks and twitches in her sleep. It's why it's so much fun when she falls asleep in the living room," he said.

"This isn't that kind of sleep," I told him.

"I know …" Emmett turned his head and locked eyes with me. "I just want to her wake up and say something. You know?"

"She will," Esme assured him. "As soon as she's ready."

"Not long after her heart stops," Carlisle added. "Which should be happening any minute now."

Emmett's phone started to ring and his expression turned from pensive to excited in a flash. "Hey, Rosie," he answered as he headed out of the room. "Nah. Still sleeping."

Alice's face broke out into a beaming smile as she sent her thoughts to me. '_See? Rosalie cares. She just couldn't be here to watch Bella make her choice._'

"That was never in question," I said, laying my cards onto the floor. Alice had demanded we all play gin rummy as a way to focus our energy while we waited out the final hours of Bella's change.

"Just making su—" Alice's head tilted to the side as her eyes slid toward Bella. "Listen."

And we did. Esme, Carlisle, and I put all of our focus into hearing the final slow beats of Bella's heart.

Silence filled the room. The tension and anticipation I'd been feeling the last few hours reached a new high and I could hear in my family's thoughts that they felt the same. How much would Bella remember? Would she be hungry when she woke? Would she be _controllable_ when she woke? The idea that she could be a wild newborn was possible in theory, but not in my mind. No matter how I tried, I couldn't picture my sweet Isabella as a danger to anyone. But I would have to treat her as if she were until we knew for sure.

********

**Bella's POV:**

"Edward." I wasn't sure of much, but I knew I wanted whoever this Edward might be. The voice that had called his name had come from my throat, but for some reason, I was positive it wasn't my voice.

"I'm here, Bella," a velvet voice said as a hand lifted one of mine.

Was that Edward's voice? Was I Bella? Everything was fuzzy, as if I was looking at it through a fog.

"Bella. Open your eyes, Love."

My eyes managed to obey the velvet voice's command and opened to the sight of two golden lights that nearly blinded me with their intensity. I blinked my eyes to ease the sensation and when they refocused, I realized it wasn't lights. Those were two eyes and I knew them. How did I know them?"

"Bella, how do you feel?"

"I'm Bella?" I questioned.

The man with the velvet voice seemed very upset but before I could ask him why, he was rudely pushed out of the way by a blond-haired man. "Isabella, I need you to focus on me. Focus on my eyes and relax your mind and body."

"Wait! Am I Bella or Isabella? Or neither?"

"Oh, Bella," a high-pitched female voice sobbed from close by.

"Relax, Alice," a deep voice said. "She's got the just-waking-up-fuzzies. Give her a few minutes and she'll be all over Edward like usual."

"Bella, focus," the blond-haired man ordered. "Your name is Isabella Cullen, but you prefer to be called Bella. Think carefully about that statement and you'll _feel_ it's true."

"I feel tired. And thirsty. And I want Edward, but I'm not sure who he is."

Blond Guy looked up and I followed his gaze, finding the gold eyes from earlier. They were on the face of an angel with funny colored hair that went in different directions while still looking perfect.

"Eating could help her to recover quicker," Blond Guy said.

"I don't want to eat. Just something to drink to get my throat to stop hurting."

"Hunger pains," the deep voice said with a dark laugh. "Kind of like growing pains, except something gets bit."

"Emmett, now is really not the time," a sweet voice scolded. I searched for that nice voice and found a young woman with long pretty hair standing near the velvet voiced guy. She looked like she was trying to console him, like a mother would a child.

"Let's go then," velvet voice said. He moved toward me and held his hand out. "Bella, I need you to trust me and take my hand."

"Are you Edward?"

"Yes."

"Okay." I put my hand in his and he pulled me to stand beside him.

And then we ran. We ran up a flight of stairs, out of pretty wooden doors, and straight into the snow. We moved so fast that my feet didn't sink into the white covering like I was sure they should have. It bothered me that I knew some things and not others and I wanted to know everything—starting with why my brain wasn't acting normal.

"This is fun," I told Edward. "Do we run like this often?"

His lips twitched a little before a sad smile marred his perfect features. "No."

"I'm sorry to make you sad. I don't mean it."

"It's alright. You can't help it. And it's only temporary."

The most delicious smell filled my nose and I sniffed at the air, trying to guess where it was coming from. "Do you smell that?"

"Soon, Bella. We have to be quiet until then."

I nodded and obeyed. I didn't know who Edward really was, but I did trust him and I believed he would care for me.

After a little more running, we slowed down and Edward pulled me behind a tree. That smell was everywhere and it was making my mouth water, which wasn't such a good thing because when I swallowed my saliva, it burned on the way down.

"Listen to me, Bella, and follow every instruction I give you."

I nodded to show I was listening.

"You are to stay right here and hold onto this branch. You are not to let it go for any reason, not until I tell you to join me."

"Why? What are you going to do? Where are you going? Why can't I come?"

"I can't explain right now. You just have to trust me."

I didn't like this trusting to get left behind business but something told me to listen to him so I did. "Alright, Edward. I'll stay."

He seemed relieved for the two seconds I got to see his face before he disappeared on me. I heard a rustling sound and the bleating of some kind of animal followed by a loud thud. That smell, that delicious smell that called my body to it was so much stronger and I had to hug the branch to stay put. Only I somehow managed to squeeze too hard and it turned to dust in my arms.

"Bella, come here."

The branch that was no more was instantly forgotten and I ran straight for that voice. But once I caught sight of Edward, something went wrong. I could only see red and I could only hear a heartbeat thumping, filling my mind with its sound and blocking out everything else. It was coming from the large moose on the ground in front of where Edward was kneeling.

Now the sound was slowing and Edward was petting my back and saying something about how good I was doing. I wasn't sure how I got beside him; I only knew I was finally getting that drink I'd needed. It was thick and had an under taste I couldn't name. Each mouthful was heavenly as it slid down, coating my aching throat and soothing the burn.

"Enough, Love," Edward said, pulling me away from the drink and into his arms.

I could still smell it though and I struggled to get free of his hold and have just a little more.

"Bella, fight it," he ordered. "You've had enough and you don't need more. Fight the urge and come back to yourself. Come back to _me_."

I closed my eyes and forced myself to focus on the other smells around me. The snow didn't really have a smell, but the water from the small stream nearby had a tangy undercurrent. There was a tree that was rotting somewhere close but I quickly ignored that smell.

And then a musky scent caught my attention. It was the smell of leaves on an evergreen with a tiny hint of sweetness, like a chocolate mint left on a pillow in a fancy hotel. It was _his_ smell. I sighed in pleasure and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in that familiar smell.

Familiar arms wrapped tightly around me, securing me to Edward's chest and I smiled as I kissed his neck. "Bella, how do you feel?" he whispered.

His question broke through the fog and the memories of the last few days came back first. The wedding. The dancing. Our amazing first night as husband and wife. And his teeth on my neck.

I jerked back and my fingers grabbed at my neck, feeling for the raised scar I knew would be there.

"Here, Love," Edward said as he gently moved my fingers a little lower and to the right.

"You did. You really did it."

"_We_ did it," he corrected, pulling me close again. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, Edward! I was so confused, but I knew your name and that I wanted to be with you."

"It's alright," he whispered, stroking my face lovingly. "You remember now and that's what's important."

My hands wrapped around his wrists, keeping them on my face while I waited for the tears to fall.

Only they didn't. And his skin wasn't cold to me. And my heart wasn't beating. It was true. He really had made me his forever.

I surged forward and pressed my lips to his, surprising him and knocking us both into the snow. It was only slightly cold, not the biting frigid temperature I remembered, but I was only vaguely interested in that. The rest of my attention was focused on Edward and this kiss of love and appreciation.

"I want to go back to the house. And to our room. Can we please do that?" I mumbled against his lips, refusing to completely break the kiss.

"We have to get rid of the moose first."

I felt my eyes widen at his words. "I really did drink from a moose, didn't I?"

"Superbly," he confirmed as he got us to our feet.

I watched in awe as he picked up the dead moose with one hand and lifted a large boulder with the other. The moose dropped to the ground and then the boulder dropped on top. It landed with a boom, but it still wasn't loud enough to completely cover the crunching sounds of that creature's bones.

"I was worried you would be upset in your confused state, but you took to drinking like a pro," Edward said as he rejoined me and took my hand.

"Something gets bit," I said with a chuckle. "I get Emmett's joke now."

"I'm sure he'll appreciate hearing that. Let's go home, Love. I'm sure our family is anxious to find out if you've regained your memory."

"I'd never forget my family forever, Edward. It's just not possible with how much I love you all. As confused as I was, I never felt afraid of any of you. And I knew to trust you."

Edward's calm exterior broke and he pulled me into his arms, squeezing me so hard I could feel the tensions in his arms. He was probably using nearly all of his strength and I was fine. I was alive and in his arms, feeling his love for me. It was such a happy feeling that I had to let out the laugh bubbling up inside of me.

"What's so funny?" he asked, resting his forehead on mine. The position put his eyes level with my mine and I could see his love and his relief—and his guilt.

"I'm here with you and I always will be. No more danger. No more human frailty to worry over. No more hot and cold to keep us apart. This is a gift for the both of us and I will always be thankful to you for giving it to us."

"Bella." My name fell from his lips with all the reverence of a heartfelt prayer and then those lips were on mine, showering me with so much love.

I loved this man so completely.

"Love you more." Just a quick breath during a short pause of our kiss.

The way he was kissing and touching me, completely unrestrained with no tension in his body for once … This freedom was exactly what I'd imagined for him.

"Better," he mumbled into my mouth before sending his tongue inside for the first deep kiss of our lives together.

Had I mentioned I loved this man?

Edward's chuckle broke up the kiss and his eyes seemed to sparkle in the gray light of the day. "Yes, I believe you did mention it. And I love you, Bella."

"Wait! What? When did I say something?"

His smile widened and his lips came up to settle against my forehead. "You said it in here."

I stopped breathing and clutched tighter to his shirt, not really afraid, but not sure what to make of it either. I'd wanted him to be able to hear some thoughts at some times, but I wasn't sure I was ready for full on no secrets with Edward mode.

"Bella, I don't know what you're doing, but I can't hear you anymore. Are you feeling okay? Did the news startle you?"

I forced myself to start breathing slowly and thought of exactly what I wanted him to know. '_Of course it startled me. I'm used to word vomit, but thought vomit is a new one for me._'

Edward's happy laughter was all the confirmation I needed to know he'd heard me. "Seems as if you're ability to be heard has become a reality."

"Along with still being able to shield my thoughts. But can I hear you this time?"

"Only way one to find out." He pulled back just a little and looked directly into my eyes while I concentrated on how much I wanted to hear him.

But it didn't work. "Guess not," I said, trying to hide my disappointment.

"Don't be discouraged, Bella. You may just need to learn to control your shield."

I nodded in agreement and threaded my fingers through his, squeezing tightly. He squeezed right back and smiled, his entire face lit up in a way I'd never seen before, making him even more devastatingly handsome than he normally was.

"Ready to run home?" he asked.

"If I could run out here confused, I'm sure I can get back focused."

And I did. And we were met at the door. And Alice and Emmett tackled me to the ground amid Esme's scolding, Carlisle's laughter, and Edward's growl.

"That was like getting hit with a boulder and very small tree," I joked as Edward brushed my clothes off for me. "Can we do it again later when Edward has advance notice and won't kill you two clowns?"

"She wants to wrestle already. I love it!" Emmett said gleefully, looking like he was barely resisting the urge to jump up and down.

Edward's attempt to smooth out my clothes was ruined in a flash because Alice had her arms around me, crushing me to her. "You scared the Gucci out of me," she said.

"Good. Maybe you'll stop buying the expensive brand for me now," I replied with a straight face.

She huffed as she let me go and was quickly replaced by Esme. "Bella."

"Esme, thank you for everything. For always supporting me in this," I said as I hugged her just as tightly.

She pulled back and smiled, cupping my face tenderly. "You are my daughter. I couldn't do anything less."

"Rose and Jasper should be home soon," Emmett announced. "They're excited to see you, Bells."

"Before they arrive, I would like to spend a few minutes with you, Bella," Carlisle said. "Just to check your memory and answer any questions you may have."

I nodded in agreement and Edward and I followed Carlisle up the stairs and into his office.

Once we were all settled into seats, Carlisle started his questions. "How far back is your earliest memory?"

"Falling off a bike and chipping a tooth. I think I was six."

"Have you felt any urges or compulsions that were hard to fight?"

"Only when I wanted more to drink, but Edward told me to fight it and I did. I focused on other smells instead of the blood."

"Do you feel any strange energy inside of yourself?"

"No. But we did find out Edward can hear me if I want him to."

"Excellent," Carlisle said, giving me a beaming smile. "I know that was something important to you both."

Edward smiled and kissed my temple as he squeezed my hand.

"Bella, I want you to keep in mind that you are very young and it may take weeks or even months for you to realize your full potential and power. The best thing you can do is to stay aware of your body and if you feel a sudden change, try to stay calm. We are all here to help you figure it out and keep you from harm."

"Or harming others," I added.

"That goes without saying," Edward replied. "I swore to keep you from harming a human and I will do everything necessary to keep it."

"I know," I said with a small laugh. "That's why I made you promise."

Edward stiffened next to me. "Rosalie is home and not pleased."

"It's alright, Edward. She'll see how happy I am and then things will get better," I assured him.

The door to Carlisle's office opened and Rosalie strode in, with Emmett and Jasper right behind, and Esme and Alice at the end. "You really went through with it," she said, staring right at me.

"I had to, Rosalie. I love him."

"_You_," she snarled, pointing one very red nail at Edward. "You better know how priceless she is for giving her life up to be with you. If you ever hurt her or disrespect her in front of me, I'll pop your arms off the way you always threaten to do to Emmett. Only I'll hide them and you'll have to beg Alice to tell you where they are. And don't think because she's one of us now that you can skimp out on the romantic crap you do for her. You'll treat my sister right or I'll make you wish you had."

I was sure I would have been blushing if I had been able, but it wouldn't have been out of embarrassment. It would have been out of the awe I felt for Rosalie. She was so strong, so tough, and still soft inside when she wanted you to see it.

"Yeah, I called you my sister," she said, her amber eyes focused on me. "But don't get any ideas in your head of instant friendship and giggly makeovers. That's Alice's department. But if you want to talk cars or ways to drop a man to his knees, I guess I'm around for that."

"Thank you, Rosalie," I said sincerely.

She nodded slightly and then left the room with Emmett trailing after her. I realized I could hear him talking softly to her, thanking her for coming back and talking to me. I smiled at knowing just how much he cared for me, but it wouldn't help him a bit when we got around to arm-wrestling. The big bear was going down for every Cullen he'd ever annoyed, pranked, or embarrassed with sexual comments.

"This family has never been so content," Jasper announced.

Edward and I exchanged a glance and smiles, both of us knowing how much tension we'd caused for everyone, especially in the last few months.

"Ali, if I start laughing suddenly, it's Bella's fault," Jasper said as he smiled down into Alice's upturned face. "She's so happy it's palpable."

"And what about my big brother?" she questioned, cutting her eyes over to Edward for just a second. "Is he happy?"

"Oh, he's very happy. He's get a room and don't come out until tomorrow happy."

Edward looked stricken beside me on the couch and I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his neck and then his ear. "It's okay, Edward."

"No, it's not. You haven't been awake for that long and there's so much to discuss. We haven't even talked about the bloodlust you felt during your first feeding."

"All of that can wait," I said, brushing my fingers through his hair to relax him. "We have eternity now."

He smiled as if the thought hadn't occurred to him before and the next second, I was in his arms and on our bed with our lips locked together in a kiss. A real kiss. A no holding back, nibble on your lip, suck on your tongue kiss. So far, becoming a vampire was proving to be a highly rewarding choice.


	10. The Mind Only Matters When Full

**It all belongs to SM. ** I am lucky to dabble with them.

**The Mind Only Matters When Full**

**Bella's POV:**

"Crap," I groaned as the doorknob crumbled between my fingers. "Crap, crap, crap."

"You're expecting too much of yourself," Edward said, glancing at me over the top of his book. His mouth was mysteriously hidden and I was pretty darn sure it was because there was a smile on his lips. For some reason, he and our brothers were enjoying my struggles.

I threw one of the pieces at Edward and it lodged into the back of his book. "Oops," I said, trying and failing to keep my chuckle inside.

Before my laughter had completely died, Edward was tackling me the floor and growling against my neck. Using my new strength, I rolled us so that I was on top and his hands were pinned above his head. His smile was dark and devious, making me scramble to figure out what I'd done wrong.

Unfortunately, I wasn't quick minded enough for dealing with him just yet. He arched his back and sent me flying over his head to land on my back. "Can we go back to the days when you were afraid to breathe hard in my direction?" I asked, looking up into his face.

"Nope," he chuckled before kissing me upside down.

My fingers found their way to his hair but they no longer needed to force him to stay put. Edward was just as willing and eager to touch and kiss now as I was. And I was much more appreciative of the effort and control it had taken him to do _anything_ with me while I was human. It was ridiculously easy to destroy objects if you weren't paying one hundred percent attention … I already owed Esme a shower knob, two door handles, and one bathroom sink. Needless to say, I'd given up on opening my own doors and turning knobs in the house. I didn't really see a down side to having my husband help with getting my clothing on and off, though off was still my personal preference.

The tip of his tongue traced my upper lip and I very happily opened up to him. My senses were so heightened now that I could feel every taste bud on his tongue as it slid over mine. His hair felt even softer than I remembered and his body felt both softer and harder to me, but never cold. Not anymore. And his eyes! They had always fascinated me and now I could see they were never just butterscotch or dark amber or black. There was always a multitude of colors swirling in them, revealing his moods and level of thirst.

My own changes weren't nearly as interesting to me. My hair was shinier and silkier while my muscles were toned and my curves more pronounced. I could see where I would lure unsuspecting men close—except for my eyes. They were not the deep red of James, Victoria and Laurent. They were more of a muddy burgundy speckled with black. Carlisle said it was because I was constantly thirsty as a newborn and wouldn't start to get better until I neared the end of my first year.

Alice had offered to get me contacts to cover the color, but I wasn't as upset about it as I'd thought I might be. Or even as I'd dreamed. This time, I understood the difference. This color was not my choice but it was a side-effect of my change and further proof that this life was real. Soon enough, they would turn to the amber color that set my family apart from all others.

"It's a training room, Eddie. Not a get busy with the wife room," Emmett bellowed from close by, interrupting what had been a very pleasurable kiss despite my wandering thoughts. Now that my brain never took time for sleep, it was constantly full of thoughts and ideas, no matter how much I was focused on something else.

"Guess you forgot that last week, Em," Alice trilled as she rode in on Jasper's back. Rosalie was trying, but she wasn't completely accepting of my choice yet and wanted no part in training me right now. I wasn't bothered by it, though. I knew she'd come around soon enough.

"Look at what Bells did to Eddie's book," Emmett said with a laugh, holding up the evidence. "Temper, temper," he said, shaking the book at me.

A small growl escaped me as I lunged forward and connected my shoulder with Emmett's abdomen. He flew back a good three feet and landed with a loud thud—and me victoriously sitting on his chest. "Gotcha."

"I wasn't ready," he whined even as he knocked me to the side with one meaty forearm.

I grabbed his wrist before he could jerk his arm away and flipped him completely over me, reveling in my newborn strength. Carlisle said I would be able to play ragdoll with Emmett for at least a year before I actually had to work at fighting the big bear.

Emmett lunged forward and grabbed my ankles, sending us rolling around the room in a ball of flailing hands and loud laughter.

"Bells, quit playing with Em and let's get some real training done," Jasper ordered.

I pulled out of Emmett's hold and stepped right in the middle of his chest as I walked over his body, getting a satisfying "oomph" out of him. "What are we learning today?" I asked, ignoring Emmett's plea for a wrestling rematch.

"We're going to work on controlling your weight. You have the power to ground your feet without destroying what you land on, but you have to learn how to use it," Jasper informed me.

"Jazz, if I can't handle the box of doorknobs over there, I doubt I'm ready for landing lessons," I told him.

"Learning to land can help you with that, Bells," Alice replied. "They both force you to be aware of your body and strength. Doorknobs just take a different kind of finesse."

"Watch how each of us lands," Jasper instructed as he joined Emmett, Edward, and Alice at the edge of the room. "Alice, ladies first," he said.

Alice bent just a little and then soared across the room, landing so daintily and gracefully that I couldn't help myself. "Way to go, Tinkerbell!"

"Bel—la," Alice whined as she appeared beside me and linked her arm with mine.

"It was a compliment, Ali. I swear," I replied.

"Bella," Edward called, immediately holding my attention. His feet and palms were touching the floor in his hunched position and when he lunged forward, he looked as graceful as any big cat captured on film by the National Geographic folks.

Edward landed on his feet with his hands on his knees and his head high, looking to me like he was ready for anything that might be coming his way. Which was a really good thing because Emmett was landing within inches of him and shaking the room. He hadn't even let me see his takeoff!

"Emmett, we're showing her how to control her landing," Jasper scolded.

"Right. So I showed her what happens when you don't control it," Emmett replied.

"No, you were trying to show her what happens when you land unaware of your surroundings," Edward corrected as he zipped across the room and out of Emmett's reach. "But you always seem to forget I can hear your little plots against me."

"Okay. I've seen dainty, graceful, and lumbering. But how exactly do you _control_ your landing?" I questioned as I moved to stand beside Jasper.

"Mind over matter, mostly," Jasper answered. "Envision yourself landing softly and only let out a small amount of your strength in your jump. If you jump with your full force behind you, you're going to have to land that way."

"Will putting my arms out help?" I questioned.

Emmett snorted. "Sure. Just flap your arms and be the first vamp to fly."

"It's a perfectly scientific question," I defended. "You guys went skydiving so I figured you would know if spreading out your arms and increasing your surface area slowed you down at all."

"Not really," Edward answered. "The velocity was too great. For a simple jump it could help, though you'd have to be jumping into a clearing. Most times when you will use your jumping ability, you'll be scaling a tree or a cliff and having your arms spread out would be impractical."

"Give it a try, Bells," Jasper encouraged. "Just pay attention to your body and your surroundings and you'll start to understand right away how to control your impact on your environment."

I parted my feet, putting my right a little ahead of my left while my arms swung loosely at my sides and I focused on the spot across the room where I wanted to land. I tried to only picture that area and what I would look like making a perfect landing, but the idea of looking like an idiot in front of my family was screwing with my concentration and making me hold my breath.

Emmett's voice broke what little concentration I'd had left. "And if you could trip and fall the first time, that would be awesome."

Alice was on his back with her hands clamped over his mouth in a flash and I gave her a grateful smile before turning my eyes back to my destination. I let out that breath I'd been holding while my feet repositioned themselves just a little.

And then I chickened out and stood up straight. "I don't know that I'm ready for this."

Edward was beside me in a second, his fingers tenderly brushing over my eyelids and getting them to close. "Forget Emmett. Forget that any of us are here. It's just you and a rock in the middle of a stream. You want to land on the rock without breaking it so that you stay dry. Take stock of your body and feel the power and energy contained within you. It's small rock and a short jump so you hardly need to use any energy. Lock the rest away for now. Once you've done that, all that's left is to jump."

One of the wicked cool things about being a vampire was being able to take a single look at your surroundings and remember them perfectly. I didn't need to open my eyes to know I was ten feet away from where I wanted to be. I didn't need to see the roof above my head to know I had a clearance of six and a half feet from my head to the metal crossbeams that ran across the ceiling.

And I didn't need my sight to know that I had just jumped and landed perfectly because the excited shouts of my family let me know that.

When I did open my eyes, it was to the view of two amber ones filled with pride and love. "So I'm really liking not being clumsy every two seconds," I said as I wrapped my arms around Edward's neck and pulled him closer.

He smiled as his fingers traveled from my temple to my jaw, tilting my face slightly. "You're thirsty." His reply wasn't exactly what I was hoping to hear. I'd been prepared for a kiss—not so much for a hunt. "We should have hunted this morning."

I smiled reassuringly at him, though I really wanted to roll my eyes at his pinched face and worried expression. "I want to wait until the training is done, Edward."

"Bella, it's important that you don't wait when you're this young. You don't yet have a clear understanding of what it feels like to be full or ravenous, and the thirst greatly weakens your ability to remain coherent. There is plenty of time to build up your stamina later," he explained.

"Edward's right, Bella," Jasper said. "I still struggle with balancing my control of my thirst and the safety of those around us."

"But no one is around us," I pointed out.

"Hunters," Alice announced. "There's always two or three roaming around. It's why you can't be completely alone for now."

"Oh." I sighed and let my head drop to Edward's shoulder.

"Don't feel guilty, Bella," Jasper said as his hand settled over my shoulder, filling me with peace. "You're new to this, just like we all were at one time."

"I don't want to hurt anyone," I said as Edward tightened his arms around me.

"We won't let you, Bells," Emmett promised. He looked so sincere—right up until he grinned. "Just repeat after me … Humans are friends, not food."

"That's fish, you big dork," I said even as I laughed.

Emmett's chest puffed out as he flexed his biceps. "Yeah, I'd totally be Bruce if I was a shark."

"Really? I see you more as Crush," Alice replied. "Funny, but a bit brainless."

"_Relaxed_, Pixie," Emmett corrected. "The word you're searching for is relaxed."

The unreality of standing around and talking about _Finding Nemo_ seconds after contemplating the possible death of a living, breathing person hit me full force and I started laughing. It was partly out of appreciation for my supportive family and partly out of fear that even with all of my reading and preparation I was still completely unready to face the fact that I could seriously harm someone—_kill_ someone.

"Uh, oh. She's hungrier than we thought," Emmett said. "Let's take the newbie hunting before she completely loses her mind."

"I'm not losing my mind," I defended. "I'm just … still caught between fiction and reality, I suppose." I frowned, not really liking that explanation but unable to come up with a better on.

"That's what you get for watching all those crappy vampire movies," Emmett replied.

"_You_ bought them all for her," Jasper reminded him as he opened the door.

The gray morning had made way for a sunny afternoon—the first sunny day since my change. I stepped out into the sunlight, blinking rapidly to adjust to the blinding light. I lifted my hand to shield my eyes and only made things worse, the rays shimmering and bouncing off the tiny facets in my skin that made it sparkle.

Turning slightly, my eyes surveyed my family. I could now understand why one of the legends referred to them as angels of death—I could also see how weak a human's eyes were in comparison to a vampire's.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, squeezing my fingers gently.

"You're all so beautiful," I blurted out. I winced immediately after and prepared myself for Emmett's teasing.

Emmett chuckled. "You're not half bad either, Newbie. But just wait until you see Rose in the sun. Looking at her makes your eyes and your heart hurt."

"That's just you, Em," Alice corrected. "To us, she's a sparkly blond. To you, she's Aphrodite personified."

"Goddess of love and carnal pleasures." Emmett's grin made it perfectly clear his thoughts were not PG-13—so did Edward's sigh and head shake.

"If you're all done, can we get going?" Jasper asked. "Bells and I are starving."

"Sorry, Jazz," I said, knowing it was my fault he was suddenly itching to be off.

He shrugged and gave me a kind smile. "It's to be expected."

"Race you," Emmett said as he ran past me and flicked my hair into my face.

I was after him in a second, catching up to him easily and tackling him into a snow bank. Jasper, Alice, and Edward laughed happily while Emmett groaned and pulled us both up from the small crater our impact had created.

"Damn newborn strength," he muttered. And then his smile reappeared. "Best two out of three?"

"After she's eaten," Edward said as he pulled me against his side. "Nice take down," he whispered into my ear.

His praise had my heart bursting with pride as we all ran together deeper into the woods.

"Deer to the northwest," I announced to everyone's surprise. It was at least another mile before Edward picked up what he called a faint scent and two more before they all were sure I was right about the direction.

"Bells, we may just have discovered a unique ability of yours," Jasper said.

"Yeah, but it might also be my newborn status," I reminded him. "Carlisle said to keep a list of my abilities, but not to bank on keeping them—"

I stopped moving and breathing, causing Edward to jerk me forward and both of us to fall into the snow. I didn't even care if I ended up soaking wet just so long as nothing bad happened. The scent that had filled my nose so suddenly had been so mouth-watering, so _divine_, that I'd wanted nothing more than to pull away from Edward and go after it. And that was exactly why I'd shut myself down. I'd heard the descriptions and stories enough to know that a smell that delectable could only be human and I was _not_ taking a life.

"Bella?" Edward questioned. I could feel him moving closer but not see him since I'd made my eyes shut too. I wasn't exactly sure what that would help, but I wasn't sure of much right now except that he had to stop me.

I focused hard on getting my thoughts out to him, afraid opening my mouth would allow the smell in again and we'd all be in trouble. '_Best smell ever. Afraid to do anything, especially if you can't smell it and identify it._'

"She okay?" Emmett asked from directly behind me.

"She smells something," Edward replied. "I can't pick it out but she says it's better than anything she's smelled yet."

"Human?" Jasper questioned. "She's thirsting like it might be."

"Jasper, are you okay to stay with us?" Alice asked, her voice sounding worried.

"I'm fine, Ali," he told her. "Bella's fighting so hard that it's helping me."

"I don't hear anything and I'm sure she can't smell further than five miles." Edward sounded more like he was talking to himself than our siblings. "Alice?"

"I'm not seeing anything," she said, her tone somewhere between worried and frustrated.

"She's got to eat if she's going to fight it." Emmett actually sounded like a voice of reason for once. "Just pick her up and let's run her to the deer."

"Emmett's idea is solid," Jasper agreed. "Let's just go."

"Bella, would we be heading in the direction of the smell if we continued toward the deer?" Edward asked as he lifted me from the ground.

I shook my head, still holding my breath and still trying to convince my mind it was safe to do. Some part of my brain believed the lack of oxygen was harmful and was trying to coax my throat into opening up and pulling in a breath. I'd be the first vampire to faint for real this time before I let myself harm a living person.

"You'll need either one large buck or two does to quell your thirst this time," Edward instructed as he ran us toward the herd of deer.

'_That won't be overdoing it?_'

"Not when you've been gripped by a smell that way. After that first time around you, I nearly drained an entire herd by myself and still felt the burn after."

'_I'm sorry I did that to you._'

"Small price, right?" he replied, holding me tighter against his chest.

'_Right._'

"We're coming up on the herd," Emmett said, practically growling the words.

"Make a circle and keep Bella in the middle," Jasper ordered. "If you can wait to feed until she's sunk her teeth into her first kill, then do it."

I couldn't help the shiver that tore through me, knowing both that I would be chomping on an animal and losing myself to the bloodlust. The heartbeats were so loud in my head and I hissed at the sensation. But that only caused their wild scent to fill my nostrils. My body reacted instantly and without permission, hurling me out of Edward's arms at the closest deer. It was a doe and I sunk my teeth so deeply into her neck that I nearly tore her head off. The burn was so intense, though. I just needed to quench it and then I could take time to feel bad for being so violent.

The second the source of the cooling liquid dried up, I was on to the next animal, a slightly larger doe. Someone had broken her back legs to keep her from running off and the thoughtfulness of the gesture meant it was most likely Edward. Of course, keeping me in one place was also a good safety net so it could have been Jasper.

"Feeling better?" Alice asked, stroking my hair as soon as I had moved away from the second doe.

"I didn't like being so violent," I told her honestly. "I know the bite will hurt, but there are degrees."

"You were only violent with the first," she corrected.

"But I think it was only because I didn't have to chase the second."

She winked and smiled. "Welcome."

I chuckled and leaned into her as my mind fully came back to me. Jasper's words about the jumping being mind over matter came back to me and I realized something very scary … My mind only mattered when I was full. "Where are the boys?"

"Getting rid of the evidence. That's the nice thing about hunting with them—they clean up while we relax."

"Any idea what that smell was, Ali?"

"Sorry, Bells. I didn't see anything."

"Until we know what it was, I'll have to be extra careful. And eat more often."

"Our sensible Bella is back," Jasper said, appearing in front of us and blocking out the sun.

"An afternoon snack always does the trick." The side of Emmett's fist connected with his stomach and he let out a long belch. It was so impressive I couldn't tell if it was real or not. "A little on the weak side, but that tangy kick gets me every time. Bells, I can't wait until we can get you some real food."

"Irritable grizzly?" I questioned, laughing a little.

"There's just no better kind," he replied.

"I'm still not picking up on anything so we should be safe for the return home," Edward announced as he came out of the woods.

"Did you just take off _alone_?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Bella, I've been a vampire for well over a century. I'm perfectly capable of heading off by myself. And I _am_ familiar with these woods."

"And _I'm_ familiar with being alone being a bad idea. Until we know what it was that I smelled, no one should be off alone."

"I think you just got grounded, Eddie," Emmett said, chuckling as he set his large hand on Edward's shoulder.

"She's got a valid concern," Alice piped up. I squeezed her fingers in thanks and received a smile back from her.

"_I_ say we know how to handle ourselves," Emmett declared. "Jasper, you're the tie-breaker. Are you a man or a puss?"

"A man," Jasper replied. "And as such, I agree with the ladies."

Alice and I gave Emmett our biggest smiles while he shot us the bird and received an elbow from Edward for his efforts.

After our little vote, we headed straight home to speak with Carlisle about what had happened. Just before Alice closed the doors, I sniffed at the air to see if that smell was still there. I couldn't pick up any sign of it, but that didn't mean I wouldn't smell it some other time. I'd never liked not having answers before, but now it was truly a matter of life and death. Until I figured out what was out there and tempting me so much, I would be sticking close to home and my family, specifically Edward and Emmett.

* * *

Another Saturday, another chapter. This was was pretty fun to write, though I'm perturbed with Ms. Bella for not telling me what the smell was yet. She will only smile and say it wasn't human. The sneaky newborn! Emmett is of no help, too busy laughing at my eye twitch over the missing information. The rest of the Cullens are busy planning and plotting the outline of next week's chapter. I very politely asked for a glimpse and was told by Alice I could see it when she approved of my outfit -- yeah, I'm totally not seeing that outline until someone else hands it over. So until next Saturday, I wish you all a great weekend and upcoming week.


	11. Irony is Overrated

**It all belongs to SM. ** I am lucky to dabble with them.

**Irony is Overrated**

**Edward's POV:**

"Faster, Edward," Bella pleaded, squeezing my hand as we wove our way through the trees. We were headed to one of her favorite lookout spots to watch the whales make their afternoon journey across the water and Bella could hardly wait.

"If you didn't insist on running on your own, we could be there already," I teased. She was just as fast as me when we ran together and may even have been able to get a small lead on me if left to run on her own, but that was something we could not test yet. She had only been a vampire for a few weeks and with her sensitive nose, she was hard to control once she caught a whiff of something appetizing. It would grow easier for her once she was able to control her hunger, but that was a ways off yet.

"Why did I want to watch the whales with _you_ again?" she asked. Her burgundy eyes were narrowed and her ruby red lips were set in a fierce scowl. Those two colors against her pale, perfect skin made her the most tempting woman I had ever come across. Knowing she was mine and mine alone filled me with a possessive pride that I should have felt some sense of guilt for; instead, I only felt lucky.

"Bella, you know that I was only teasing."

She huffed and obstinately focused straight ahead of her in an attempt to ignore me. She wasn't used to the new level her emotions could reach yet and the most uncontrolled part of that was her temper.

"You really are breathtaking when you're angry like this," I said, give her the crooked grin that usually calmed her annoyance. "But you're just as beautiful when peaceful and my intent was never to annoy you."

She turned her head just a bit, her chin jutting out in defiance. "You can tease all you want, Edward Cullen. Just know that as soon as Carlisle says it's safe for me to run without holding your hand, you will be eating my dust."

I couldn't help the cocky response I gave, not that I even attempted. I was the fastest and proud of it. "Many have tried, all have failed."

Bella's lips pulled up into a devious smirk that reminded me strongly of Rose when she busy making Emmett's life hell. "I seem to recall hearing that in relation to you once before," she said as she flashed her free hand at me, showing off her wedding band.

I matched her smirk and pulled her closer to me. "Shall I add cocky to your list of new traits?"

I felt her stopping and did the same, watching her closely in case she had picked up on a scent. Her smirk turned into a sweet smile and I was fairly confident my teasing was forgiven.

Her hands settled against my chest and though I missed her warmth some, I was much happier to be able to hug her as tightly as I wanted, which is exactly what I did. Her smile widened just a little and then her lips were on mine, her tongue darting out to trace my upper lip. I reciprocated and soon found myself lost in her kiss and the tender way her hands swept back and forth across my chest.

'_Edward?_'

I squeezed her lightly to show I had heard her thoughts.

'_I thought about your question and my list of traits. I decided I'd rather you wait and add 'winner' when I beat you._'

My laughter broke our kiss and my connection to Bella's overconfident thoughts. She could sometimes let me hear her without touching, but it was much easier for her if there was physical contact involved. She had a limited connection with Alice, but had yet to figure out how to get into the minds of our other family members. Carlisle expected Bella's power to grow exponentially as she learned to control it, and imagined she might even be able to one day send her thoughts while in a separate room from the person she wanted to communicate with.

She wasn't very keen on developing the power, though. Her vivid imagination had her thinking Aro would collect her as a "super spy lookout" for the Volturi despite our assurances that he had no interest in us. Carlisle had spoken with him personally just last week to notify him of the change and he had thanked us for upholding our promise and wished us the best of luck. I was sure he would approach us again in a century or two to see if Alice or I would want to join him, but I couldn't think of any reason for him to leave Italy and come here to disrupt our lives.

"Hey," Bella said softly, her fingers lightly tugging on my hair. "Would you get out of your head and be here in the moment with me?"

"I apologize, Love," I said as I brushed a kiss to her cheek.

"I don't want you to apologize, Edward. I'd rather you tell me what has you so preoccupied."

"We've had so many changes in these past few weeks and we are both in a state of adjustment."

"Are there any changes that are worrying you?" she asked. As soon as the words left her mouth, her teeth were sinking into her lower lip and showing how nervous she was for my answer.

"I'm probably not worried enough," I admitted. "I'm enjoying all the ways we've been able to get closer. I'm extremely proud of how seriously you're taking your training and how hard you're working to master control of your new body."

"I like this relaxed, teasing version of you. But maybe a little less with the teasing," she said, her smile turning into a small frown. "I'm getting enough from Emmett to last a decade."

"What has the oaf done this time?" I asked, brushing a few silky strands of her chocolate hair from her pale face.

"When you went out with Carlisle, Emmett started following me around the house. He kept saying 'arm wrestling match' and nothing else until I got fed up and stopped to wrestle him. But I was so agitated that I wasn't focusing enough and I drove his fist right through Esme's coffee table. I hadn't even registered that I'd done it when he jumped up and yelled 'Bella did it', which of course brought everyone running."

"I did try to warn you."

"I know," she sighed.

"Would you like me to get back at him for you?"

"No. But maybe you and Alice can help me come up with a plan for me to get him back?"

"We would be honored. And overjoyed," I replied with a laugh. I could already picture Emmett's angry scowl at being bested and it was all the payment I required for helping my lovely wife to beat him.

"He's really into the Wii system right now so maybe we can find a way to mess with him with that. Maybe we could take his—" Bella's words turned into a growl deep in the pit of her chest and I immediately tightened my hold on her.

"Stop breathing," I ordered as her growls grew deeper and longer.

"It's the one," she replied, her eyes darkening and her face contorting in a mix of hunger and pain.

"Bella, stop breathing and think of something else. You ate this morning and you are not truly hungry."

"Edward," she whined. She parted her lips to say something else, but the only thing to come out was a snarl as her grip on my shirt loosened and she started to try to push away from me.

"Bella, concentrate and listen to my voice," I demanded, struggling to keep her locked in my arms. "Stop breathing. Speak to me with your thoughts only."

Instead of listening as she had done on previous occasions, her breathing became quick and shallow, filling the air with her snarls as she continued to fight me.

"Bella!" I yelled, shaking her just a little in hopes of getting her attention. "Fight it."

She seemed to be coming back to herself but a gust of air swirled her hair from her face and the change from the sweet, loyal woman to the ravenous newborn was instant and solid. She pushed away from me with all of her strength, leaving behind the sleeves of her sweater as she ripped herself from my grip and took off into the woods.

I was after her in a second, following the wisps of brown hair that blew out behind her as well as her familiar scent, praying the entire time that Alice had caught sight of this and was sending reinforcements. I was also busy cursing myself for being arrogant enough to assume I could control a three-week old newborn all on my own. I had assumed her stubbornness would help her to fight, but forgot that it would only last as long as she could stay coherent.

I didn't bother calling out her name, knowing she wouldn't respond. She was lost to the bloodlust now and until she either got what she was after or was taken far away from the source of the smell, she would not hear anything but the call of the animal's heart. And it had to be an animal because I couldn't pick up on a single thought.

I finally got close enough to grab the back pocket on her jeans, but it did me little good. The threads that held the fabric together were useless at these speeds and left me holding the pocket in my hand while Bella continued forward without being slowed the slightest.

I gave my own growl, this one born of frustration as I pushed myself harder, trying to catch her and stop her before she did anything she regretted. The second I was close enough, I launched myself at her and tackled her to the ground, my arms wrapped around her knees. She somehow managed to jerk one leg free and her foot connected with my forehead. The shock of having her strike me caused me to let go. The second she felt my grip loosen, she was on her feet and running again. The only parts of me wounded were my pride and my feelings and I did my best to ignore them as I chased after her again.

But I was too late.

She had found the source of her smell.

A large white wolf with black streaks across the back and the top of its head lay in her arms with her face hidden in its neck. There was no heartbeat so she'd either crushed it when she'd landed on it or severed a main artery when she's bit down on its neck.

There was nothing to be done so I sat down against a nearby tree and watched over her, making sure the wolf's pack didn't decide to come and check on it. All I could think about was how stupid I'd been while being thankful that her unknown smell had not led her to a human. She would have taken a life and I would have broken my promise to her. We were both very lucky it was only a wolf.

It seemed ironic that the animal she was called to would be a wolf, especially after her heated reaction the one time I'd mentioned them as a possible food source. She'd seemed to prefer the idea of penguins that day. Unfortunately, she wouldn't be able to have wolf much out here. The numbers were already too low due to overhunting by the humans. I would just have to do some research and find a spot where they were overrunning for her first "camping" trip.

It was easy to know the exact moment when Bella came back to herself. I wasn't sure if it was her thirst being satisfied or the horror she seemed to feel that did it, but her shield dropped and her thoughts screamed out in my head, making me cringe from the sheer volume and the undeniable panic laced throughout.

'_No! No, no, no! I didn't. I wouldn't! Not a wolf! I … I just wouldn't. No! This is a prank. It has to be one. Emmett will laugh now. He has to laugh now. I can't … No! EDWARD!_'

Her head jerked up and her eyes landed on my face, just staring at me. Her thoughts were closed off now and I had no clue what she was thinking. Her face contorted into the most pained expression I'd ever seen, even worse than during her change and a wounded cry left her lungs, sending every bird and animal within a few miles of us running.

I walked over to her and picked her crumpled form up from the snow, holding her as she sobbed tearlessly all the way back to the house.

"Edward, it was too late when I finally saw," Alice apologized.

"Want me to take her?" Emmett offered, his face solemn as he stood on the porch.

"Calming her may work better," Jasper suggested.

"No," I answered, shaking my head. "She's never liked it when she was falsely calmed."

"Edward, let me take her," Esme said, holding her arms out. "You will have plenty of time to discuss this with her later, but for now, let me take her."

Remembering the many times Esme had managed to make me feel better when no one else could, I passed Bella to her.

The second Esme disappeared upstairs with Bella, Emmett let out a growl and shoved me out of the doorway. I wasn't expecting it and flew right off the small porch, landing on my feet in the snow.

"What the hell happened to her?" Emmett bellowed as he landed inches away from my face.

"We found out what the smell was from last week," I replied, attempting to control my own temper. I understood from his thoughts he was in a panic for Bella and it was the only reason I hadn't punched him in the face.

"What was it?" Alice questioned as she moved to stand between Emmett and me. Jasper immediately did the same and sent out calming waves.

"A wolf," I answered.

Alice gasped, Jasper winced, and Emmett stood up straighter with a confused expression on his face.

"Jacob." My one word was enough because Emmett's confusion transformed into anger immediately.

"You idiot!" he yelled, pushing right past Alice and Jasper to grab me by the front of my shirt. "You let her take a wolf when she wasn't in her right mind! No wonder she's so damn freaked."

"Put him down." Rosalie of all people had made that demand.

"Emmett, now," Carlisle ordered.

Rose and Carlisle came to stand at my side, facing Alice, Jasper, and Emmett. It was just like the night when we'd first argued over Bella, only with the positions of my family slightly reversed.

"So Edward here forgot to be the controlling, nit-pickey, overprotective fool that we've all given him a hard time for being in the last couple of years," Rose stated. "We should forget that he's never had a partner to be responsible for and tie him to a tree and set him on fire. We certainly shouldn't try to understand or give him any helpful suggestions on how to deal with the guilt he has to be feeling and the complete freak-out Bella is going through."

Alice, Emmett, and Jasper all exchanged glances. "I never said it was your fault," Alice told me as she moved beside me, taking my hand into hers. "I just don't understand how she got away from you."

"We all overestimated Edward's strength against a newborn and Bella's control at such a young age," Carlisle said. "We are all at fault for this."

"No," I argued with a shake of my head. "I wanted to take her to see the whales alone, but I should have known better. I should have asked Alice and Jasper along."

"I know you've got this whole masochistic thing down pat, Edward, and you revel in being the poor tortured soul, but give it a damn rest," Rosalie demanded, getting right into my face. "Fault doesn't even matter. What matters is that Bella is freaked out and when she calms down, she's going to be coming for you. She'll be as angry at you as she is at herself, but she won't know that at first because she's a friggin' newborn! She'll just know she's raging and wanting to tear the head off of something other than a wolf."

"What would you have me do?" I asked, the words coming slowly between clenched teeth.

A wicked smile curled her ruby red lips up and her amber eyes practically sparkled with glee; she loved me, but she also wanted me to pay for all the ways I'd made life hell for the family in the past few years. "You will get the opportunity to truly be masochist, dear brother. You will take whatever she does calmly and without attempting to restrain her or fight her."

"That's not going to work," Alice interjected. "Bella will become even more furious if he doesn't fight back."

"Exactly," Rose replied. "She needs to see the full potential for destruction her little temper gives her. It's the only way she'll be able to gauge when she's about to lose it."

"Rose does have a point, Edward," Carlisle said, his hand settling on my shoulder.

"It's how you guys trained me," Emmett offered, looking calm and somber now.

"But that was you," I argued. "Bella is different."

"Bella _will_ be different," Jasper corrected. "Right now, she's a typical newborn. Nearly always hungry, her emotions in a constant flux, and unaware of just how strong she is now. You love her and that makes it harder for you to separate the person from the newborn. But you have all of us here to help, Edward. You just have to take advantage of that."

"Edward," Esme called from the porch. "Bella is asking for you."

I was beside my mother in a flash. "How is she?"

Esme gave me a sad smile as her hand cupped my cheek. "Hurting."

********************************

**Bella's POV:**

"It will all be fine, Sweetheart," Esme cooed as she brushed my hair with her hand. "Try to relax your body and mind."

She'd been saying those things for a while now, but I couldn't relax either. I had torn into a wolf. _A wolf_! What if that had been Jacob? Or Seth? Or Paul? Okay, I probably wouldn't have felt bad if it had been Paul. He'd been the one to put me into that stupid coma.

And where had Edward been? Why had he just been sitting there when I'd finally been able to understand again? He hadn't said a single word to me. Not a word of solace or encouragement or even anger. Nothing. And to just hand me off to Esme …

Edward and I had never specifically discussed wolves, but the one time he'd mentioned it, I'd told him wolves were out. I wished I could say he had forgotten that conversation, but I knew that wasn't true. Edward never forgot anything. So why didn't he stop me? Did he think because we'd left Jacob behind that my opinion would have changed and I would really be accepting of taking down a wolf? Or had the idea of me attacking that particular creature so pleasing to him that he didn't care what I would think? When he'd been just sitting there and watching me, had it been Jacob's neck he'd pictured my teeth sinking into?

"I want Edward."

"Bella, dear, you should relax a while longer," Esme said softly. I thought for a split second of allowing her to soothe me, but the horror at my actions and the anger for Edward not stopping me were too great.

"I want Edward."

"Alright, Sweetheart. I'll get him," she promised, kissing my forehead before leaving me alone.

I pulled myself out of the bed and went over to the window, staring down at the snow covered cliff edge and the trees beyond. I wished I had my iPod with me, something to drown out of all the thoughts in my head for just a few seconds, but it was down the hall. I was afraid of damaging the furniture in our real bedroom, so Edward and I had been staying in one of the guest rooms.

"Bella, would you like to take a walk?" Edward asked.

I spun around immediately and wished I somehow had the power to send him through the wall with just my thoughts. "Yes, being outside where there are smells is the perfect idea right now."

"Only to the training building. You seem upset and I know you would feel guilty if you broke anything in here."

"I _seem_ upset?" I roared, grabbing the first thing I could reach. Once it had shattered against his chest, I knew it had been a small blue vase from the dresser.

He calmly swept the dust and pieces from his sweater, letting them fall to the decorative rug beneath his feet. "Again, I don't believe you want to destroy this room or any part of the house so let's move this to the training building."

I wasn't aware I'd moved until I noticed the plaster dust falling around us. Edward was partly in the wall with my hand wrapped around his neck. He could have stopped me. He could have moved out of the way. But he had done nothing to stop me. His face was a perfect mask of calm and composure—even his eyes didn't give anything away.

I waited to feel sorry for my actions, but there was only anger; boiling and raging within me and giving me a false sense of feeling warm and overheated. I let Edward go and moved toward the door.

"If you've suddenly gotten bored of taking care of me and helping me through this, you should just say that." I didn't wait for a response; I left the room and left the house, blowing right past everyone.

I was angry, but I wasn't self destructive so I went into the training building instead of the woods. I had been sorely tempted to just run and not stop, but that behavior would have hurt the others more than it would have hurt me.

I sunk down in the middle of the room, folding my legs into my chest and wrapping my arms around myself. That hot anger had dissipated as quickly as it had built up, leaving me feeling cold—or at least giving the sensation of it. I wasn't used to the differences yet and was still figuring out how to put my new feelings into words.

"I hadn't realized until just now that you really are a newborn," Edward said from behind me. He was still using that calm tone and it set off my anger again. He didn't get why I was so upset because he wasn't asking—he didn't care. I understood why he didn't care for Jacob or the wolf pack, but I'd figured he would respect that I did. Sort of like how I respected his friendship with Tonya though I didn't care for it or her, but that was another argument for another day.

"I changed my mind. I don't want to speak to you," I finally told him. I dropped my head against my knees to keep from having to look at him. I thought I might have an easier time calming my anger if I wasn't looking directly at him.

"I knew that already. You want to yell at me."

"You sound like you don't believe you deserve it."

"I do deserve it, but not for the reasons you think."

My resolution to not look at him was forgotten as I jumped to my feet and got right up into his face. "And how would _you_ know what I'm thinking? I know you can't hear me right now and you damn sure haven't asked."

"You are making this into something horrible when it's not." His words set that white hot flame of anger alive inside of me again and I had him up making a dent in the metal wall before I fully realized I'd moved. If not for the horrible screeching sound the distorted metal made, I might have shoved him right through it.

"It was only a wolf, right, Edward? It has no significant meaning in my life and it's just prey. I'm at the top of the food chain now and a dangerous predator so I shouldn't care. Right?"

Once again, he didn't attempt to restrain me and kept his face and voice calm. "I agree that it's just a wolf, but not with the rest. I understand the wolf has a mental significance for you, but at the end of the day, it's a common wolf and not the friend you're thinking about."

I released his neck in favor of slapping him, that calm tone of his driving me insane. I expected him to restrain me or at least yell at me, but he just stood there. I was overwhelmed with the anger, hurt, and sadness I felt and this need to make him feel the same way was too much to deny … So I drew my hand across his chest, slicing right through his sweater and shirt and leaving marks on his chest. His only reaction was his eyes tightening at the corners.

"Why aren't you fighting back?" I screamed at him, doing my best to punch every part of him in my line of sight. "Why don't you care!"

In a flash, we were on our sides on the floor with my back pressed into his chest, my arms pinned at my sides by his, and my legs locked between his. "I do care," he breathed into my ear. "I care enough to let you get out the anger filling you up right now. I understand your horror at your actions, and I apologize for making the assumption I could control you on my own. But that is where the apology stops. I did not choose your preference for wolf's blood anymore than you did."

"You didn't stop me," I accused, the anger trying to rise up once again. I felt it this time though and was able to push it back some.

"I tried my hardest, but I failed." His words were full of too much sincerity for me to doubt him.

"If that had been a human—"

"I have thought of little else since it happened and of what I need to do to help you."

"Let me go." I wasn't completely calm yet, but I felt in control enough to want to move around on my own.

Edward released me immediately and backed up to the far side of the room.

"I won't attack you again," I told him as I sat up and folded my legs in front of me. "At least I don't think I will. I wasn't really aware of losing my temper before, but I am now. I'll probably be sorry for attacking you later, but not now. I just can't understand how you could let me do that."

"I know that I have never been a supporter of Jacob or your friendship with the wolves. But I have always supported _you_, Bella."

"Why did you let me get to that wolf then?"

"I didn't allow you to take down that wolf. I did what I could to stop you, but your newborn abilities gave you the few seconds you needed to get away and get what you wanted. I am sorry you're upset about it, but I don't believe there is a reason for you to equate that wolf with your friend."

"Of course you wouldn't," I muttered, looking at my shoes instead of him. "You're probably amused that my animal turned out to be a wolf."

"It does have a certain irony to it," he said, his lips pulling up at the right. "But again, I am sorry that you're upset about it."

"Irony is overrated," I grumbled. And then I lifted my face to his, wanting him to see how serious I was in asking this of him. "Edward, you have to teach me how to ignore it, just like you ignored my scent."

"Isabella," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Why would you want to put yourself through that kind of torture when it's not the same?"

"Because it's the same to _me_, Edward! And until it's not, I don't want to lose myself to the bloodlust and come back up to find another wolf in my hands."

"You are so painfully stubborn," he accused, his eyes narrowed as he glared at me.

"Just like you." Somehow, his anger and annoyance was making me the calm one.

He sighed and came over to sit in front of me, taking my hand into his. "I love you and I will always try to do what you ask of me if it's a reasonable request. However, I think it's highly unreasonable for you to want to deny a craving when you are this young."

"It's no different than denying the urge for a human," I argued.

"They are not even close to being the same, but if you're set on this path—"

"I am."

"I will talk with Carlisle and figure out the best way to help you. More than likely, you'll have to be put near the animal under controlled circumstances until you can build up a tolerance. Jasper can help me with the specifics of creating that controlled environment and Emmett will have to help restrain you."

"And we aren't going anywhere outside of the house just the two of us anymore," I added.

"Agreed," Edward said with a nod.

Silence filled the room for a number of minutes until I forced two of my many questions past my lips. "Why didn't you say anything to me after? Why did you just sit there?"

"I had nothing I could say that would diminish your horror or make up for my inability to control you. Or to apologize correctly for my arrogance."

"Arrogance?"

"Rosalie came to me and asked me to train Emmett as I had trained her. She truly cared for him and that was so surprising for her at the time that I had agreed. But I had no emotional stake in whether he learned or not in the beginning. I took all the necessary precautions, never straying far from Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie. I constantly expected Emmett to lose control and for me to have to take him down. I was prepared and ready to fight him as much and as long as it took until he pushed aside the bloodlust and took control of himself."

Edward's free hand reached out and softly caressed my cheek before sliding down to rest on my neck—and my scar. "But with you, Love … With you I overestimated your ability to be stubborn. I expected you to listen to me and fight the bloodlust like a seasoned vampire instead of a newborn. I expected that I could just hold you and lull you into a calm state without having to be too forceful with you. I apologize for those misconceptions."

I moved the few inches between us and crawled into his lap, the both of us sighing as his arms wrapped around me. "I forgive you."

"And I forgive you," he said softly, his face pressed into my hair.

"I'm not sorry."

"No, but you will be eventually."

We stayed that way until the gray sky turned black and shadows filled the building. I thought about staying right there until the sun came up again, but I knew I needed to apologize to Esme for her vase and the hole in her wall.

Edward opened the wooden front door and ushered me inside. Everyone was seated in the living room and at our entry, all talking ceased.

Edward gently prodded me forward with a hand pressed against the small of my back and I tried my best to muster up a real smile for everyone.

"Bella, are you feeling better?" Esme asked, looking concerned.

"Almost," I said, not wanting to lie to her even a little.

"We are all here for you to talk to if you need it," Carlisle assured me.

"I know. And I probably will do that, but not tonight," I replied. "Esme, I'm very sorry for the damage I caused and if you'll show me how, I'll gladly repair the wall for you."

"No need, dear. I already had Emmett and Jasper take care of it," she said, giving me a kind smile that I wasn't sure I deserved.

"Thanks, Em. Thanks, Jazz," I said to them.

"Welcome," they replied together.

"We'll be upstairs," Edward said as he gently nudged me in that direction.

I stopped in our own room long enough to grab one of my comfort books and then we entered the guest room. The wall was so professionally repaired that if not for the smell of fresh paint and the missing molding at the bottom, it would have been impossible to tell where the damage had been.

I settled onto the bed while Edward changed his shirt before sitting in the armchair near the window. His laptop appeared from somewhere and I buried my face in my book, not wanting to deal with him any further tonight. Tomorrow, I'd probably be apologizing like crazy, but right now, I was still hurt and angry at his nonchalant treatment of the incident—and my feelings. I was sure he wanted as little to do with me since he thought I was overreacting so it seemed best to leave the space between us until we were both ready to start talking it out.

I lost myself as much as I could in the tale of Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, but the image of the dead wolf kept coming back to me and interrupting me. I didn't really care for this dual thinking thing we could do, but I had to accept it and learn to work with it.

The more I tried not to think about the wolf or Edward, the more they became the only things my mind focused on. I went through every part of my coma dream that I could remember, trying to find something that felt close to this situation to help me decipher it all. Nothing seemed helpful, though.

My mind gave up on the dreams and went back to the main parts: the significance of the wolf to me and Edward's non-reaction. Thinking back to all of our conversations about Jacob and the Forks wolves, I couldn't see a single instance where I would have given Edward the impression I would be okay with going after a regular wolf. I could see plenty of times where I'd shown their lives meant as much to me as any humans life, but none where I disregarded them as just animals.

But was I really mad that Edward didn't stop me from getting a wolf? Or was it just that _he didn't stop me_. Even with the speed and strength I'd discovered so far, never for a second had I imagined myself stronger and faster than Edward. He was Edward for cripe's sake! My superhero.

Or at least he had been. When I was human, it was expected for him to be stronger and faster. With me as a newborn …

The realization that I had unknowingly been selfish with Edward again hit me hard enough to give me the sensation of tears welling up in my eyes. Why did I always seem to be hurting him when that wasn't my intent? I'd just wanted his help to keep me from doing something regretful and he'd never said anything to give me the impression I was asking too much. He could have said 'no' just the way Alice had done when I'd asked her to keep me from saying hurtful things during the change. I would have understood.

No matter. The past was the past and I wouldn't do that to him again. Ignorance couldn't and shouldn't be a valid excuse and I would do something to make it up to him. Maybe I could find time to talk to Rosalie about doing something special to his car since he loved it so much.

My thoughts of apologies, Edward, and wolves were interrupted by an outside source, specifically Emmett's voice. He was humming a tune that I recognized enough that my body grew stiff with anger. Edward must have recognized it too because he growled toward the closed bedroom door.

I opened my mouth to ask Edward what the song was but Emmett began to belt out the words at that moment, making it extremely clear to everyone in the house what song had him singing in the halls.

_In touch with the ground_

_SHE'S on the hunt. SHE'S after you._

_Smell like the finest wine_

_And BELLS is hungry FOR the wolf._

_Straddle the line in discord and rhyme._

_SHE'S on the hunt. SHE'S after you._

_Mouth is alive with juices like wine_

_And BELLS is hungry FOR the wolf. __(Duran, Duran. Hungry Like the Wolf revamped by the big vamp.)_

Twin growls left Edward and me as we stood in the hall, staring down Emmett at the edge of the staircase.

"What?" he asked with wide innocent eyes. "Too soon?"

Esme and Rosalie appeared behind him, exchanged a glance, and then raised their hands. They smacked the back of his head at the same time and he stumbled forward, dropping to his knees.

"Tonight, I'm not bothering with you," I said as I stared down at him. "Tomorrow, I'm going to kick your big grizzly loving ass. Esme, sorry for my language. Rose—"

Rosalie waved her hand and silenced me. "Enjoy, Bella." With those two words, she turned and headed down the stairs. Emmett was up and after her, begging her to reconsider the whole way down. I must have actually looked scary for once to him.

"I see …" Alice announced, drawing our attention to her as she leaned in her bedroom doorway with Jasper just behind her. "I see tomorrow being a very painful day for our dear Emmett."

"Just do it outside please," Esme requested before leaving the four of us alone in the hallway.

"Alice, could I—"

"Sure, we can talk. Jasper, go find something to do."

"No, don't," I said quickly. "Ali, I want to talk to Jasper this time." I opened my mouth to assure her I would talk to her after, but her smile threw me off. I'd been expecting a pout from her.

"Then I'll just steal my big brother away for a bit," Alice said as she slipped her arm around Edward's and tugged him in the opposite direction.

"That was too easy," I said, staring down the now empty hallway.

"Ali must have thought it was best for you," Jasper replied. "Would you like to come in or would you prefer to go in my office?"

"I think your office would make me feel more crazed than I already do, like I'm the first vampire to need a shrink," I admitted.

Jasper's lips twitched but he managed not to smile as he waved me into the room. Once we were seated, he nodded for me to go ahead.

"Jasper … I …" I blew out a breath, never having expected that I would ask this of him. Part of me wanted to forget this idea and just go back to my room, but the realistic side reminded me of today's events and I knew I had to do it.

I lifted my head and looked my brother-in-law in the eyes. "Jasper, I want you to train me instead of Edward."

* * *

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

I hope you all enjoyed this longer than usual chapter. And I hope you can all understand where Bella is coming from. She's confused and scared by her new abilities and by the sudden realization that Edward is not more powerful than her right now while she's so young. Plus, Edward not associating the wolves the way she does is upsetting her, but she is trying to figure out how to explain it to him. We'll see what words of wisdom Jasper has for her next weekend.

For my adult readers who enjoy a little strawberry every now and again, I posted a one-shot just for Halloween called Worth the Burn. I hadn't planned to write anything, but Jake came along in this black and white dog costume with a big red collar around his neck and I couldn't resist documenting his shame. Mwuhahahahahaha!

Wishing you all yummy treats and only the best types of tricks!

My-Bella


	12. Trust

Before we begin, I want to make something really clear. Nothing that Bella did in the last chapter was controlled or thought out. That's the crux of being a newborn. You are NEVER in complete control the first few years and you hardly ever have control in the first few months. Not even if you've dreamed about, read about it, asked about it. Nothing can prepare you for it. Hopefully, by the end of the chapter, Bella will more understood.

* * *

**It all belongs to SM. ** I am lucky to dabble with them.

**Trust**

**Bella's POV:**

_I lifted my head and looked my brother-in-law in the eyes. "Jasper, I want you to train me instead of Edward."_

"No."

"Okay, great. So I'll tell him and—Wait, what?"

Jasper smiled and leaned back in his chair. "No."

"But … But why not?" I couldn't remember ever feeling so confused. I didn't actually want anyone but Edward to train me, but I couldn't be that selfish to him. He deserved better from me and I wanted to give it to him.

"Because Edward is the right man for the job," Jasper replied.

"No, he's not. He's too attached to me," I argued.

"Impossible."

"I didn't mean it that way. Only in reference to training me."

"Not then either, Bella."

"Look if you're worried about hurting his feelings—"

Jasper sat forward, his elbows on his knees and a stern expression on his face. "Oh, it would most definitely hurt his feelings, but that's not the reason I'm saying 'no'. I'm saying it because it's the best choice for this family."

"How can that be best when he's so afraid of hurting me he lets me get away?"

"Bella, I can assure you the only thing on Edward's mind when you bolted was protecting you from yourself. He didn't expect that he would need to be forceful with you, but he did it anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember anything about running from him?"

"No."

"Look at your clothing, Bella. It's muddy and torn. You were tackled. _Edward_ tackled you to try and stop you."

I nodded as I held out a corner of my stained sweater. I hadn't noticed the dirt until Jasper had pointed it out. It was terrifying to have no recollection of running off. One second, I had been desperately clutching Edward's arms to keep myself grounded and the next, I was sitting with a dead wolf and Edward was just staring at me, totally silent with a blank expression on his face.

"He's more than willing to do what's necessary to keep his promise. He just didn't realize before today what that entailed. He's already planning ways to make changes. Alice saw him speaking with Emmett and me later on tonight."

I nodded again and lifted my face up to Jasper's. "I want him to teach me to resist the smell of the wolf, but he thinks I'm being stubborn."

"I do too, but if it's what you want, then we'll help you."

I had nothing to say. I didn't know how to feel about Jasper's refusal to train me. I hadn't even finished figuring out everything I felt about what had happened in the woods and after. All I knew was that I wanted to protect Edward from my newborn self.

"Why is there a sense of loss coming off of you? Are you really _that_ upset about the wolf?" Jasper questioned.

"I … I don't know what I am," I answered honestly.

"What did you lose, Bella? Some self-confidence?"

"Probably, but I haven't gotten that far yet in figuring out what I feel."

"But you know why you feel that loss. Tell me."

"Edward's not …" I paused, trying to find the right word so Jasper would understand.

"He's not infallible?" Jasper offered.

I shook my head. "I knew that already. But … Well, those mistakes are different. They're from him being closed off for so long and being stubborn. When it comes to protecting me from harm, I thought he was … _unstoppable_ would be the word, I guess. I don't know, Jasper. I just feel like I shouldn't have expected so much of him and I'm a horrible selfish person for asking him to train me in the first place. I just want to do the right thing for him and that's why I'm asking you to train me."

"You're not being selfish, Bella. Nor are you asking too much of Edward. If he had caught up to you and found you with a human, you can bet he would have tackled you again and ripped you away from the person. Since it was an animal, he didn't see a reason to treat you so roughly."

"But it was a _wolf_, Jasper," I said, hoping he could tell how horrified I was by that concept.

"It's not the same kind of wolf. I've felt how much Jacob meant to you and even I wouldn't have associated the two."

"But it's the same to _me_."

"Reverse the roles, Bella. You're the seasoned vampire. Your charge has just gotten away from you. Not only is he your charge, but he's someone you love deeply and have sworn to protect. You're full of adrenaline and fear as you chase after him and struggle with him, tackling him in defense for the first time. He gets away and when you find him and see he's safe, the relief washes over you at the same time the guilt and uncertainty hit. You failed. Will he blame you? Will he understand you did the best you could? You can try to ignore everything you're feeling and pull that newborn off his kill, possibly having to hurt him in the process. Or you can let the newborn alone and use the time to get your mind in order for whatever the aftermath will be."

I sighed and tucked my feet beneath me in the chair. "He must have felt pretty confused."

Jasper leaned forward and set his hand on my knee. "He was still full of confusion and anxiety when he arrived home with you. Bella, I know he seems older and wiser in a lot of ways, but this is just as new for him as it is for you. He's never had an emotional stake when training someone before."

"That's why I want you to train me."

Jasper sat up straighter, his dark amber eyes full of both exasperation and kindness. "Do you trust Edward?"

"Of course I do."

"Completely? With every aspect of your life?"

"Yes."

"Then act like it. Put your faith in his ability as a trainer and you will not regret it, Bella. You will gain all of the knowledge he has to offer you and he will gain an understanding of just how strong and self-reliant you can be. It's what's best for both of you, and for our entire family." He must have wanted to lighten the mood a little because his next words were clearly a joke. "I don't know about you, but I'm not planning to spend the next thirty years with an overprotective, overbearing Edward."

Jasper stood and I did the same, allowing him to pull me in for a hug. "Thanks, Jasper."

"It's all going to work out like it should, Bella. Just trust us."

"I do. And I will," I promised him.

*********************************************************************

**Edward's POV:**

"I've never seen her look so terrified before." I didn't even know where to begin with how I felt about everything that had happened this afternoon with Bella.

"Edward, she'll be alright."

"I don't think she trusts me anymore, Alice. And she's right not to."

"Don't say that. You know it isn't true."

"No, you don't want it to be true," I argued, finally looking at my sister.

She gave me a kind smile and took my hand between her two small ones. "Edward, you have to have faith. Yes, Bella is scared and with good reason. She's always seen you as the strongest person in her world and today she found out that for right now, when she's at her most vulnerable, she's physically stronger. I'll bet you anything in the world she's jumped straight into feeling selfish and blaming herself for today."

"She can't help what she lusts after. Not so young."

Alice shook her head. '_Not for the wolf. For you. For asking too much of you by asking you to train her._'

"But it's not too much," I argued. "I love training her. I love seeing that look of accomplishment on her face when she figures out how to control some part of her new body."

"I don't think it's too much either, but I'm not Bella. I'm not embracing a new life while trying not to repeat old mistakes or compare it to a dream life. She wants so much to show you in her every action that she loves you and she doesn't regret anything about being with you. She wants to get it all right the first time, without selfishness or stubbornness. That's a lot of pressure for anyone. Throw her newborn status and her uncontrollable strength and emotions on top of that and we have one heck of an inferno, big brother."

I sighed and shook my head, wondering again how I could be so old and make such juvenile mistakes. "I've been so focused on her physical abilities. I haven't even really asked her how she's felt emotionally. If anyone's been selfish here, it's been me."

Alice scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Neither of you is being selfish. It's call inexperience. For all of her preparing and reading, nothing can truly ready you for the intensity of it all. Sights, sounds, emotions, strength, tastes, smells … It's so easy for her to be overwhelmed right now and not even know it. And as for you, you've trained Rose and Emmett and even a few wolves, but there's never been anyone like Bella. Even without the way you love her, she's still so different. When she held her breath the first time she caught that smell, it was simply amazing. She should not have been able to do that, especially since she was already hungry. Today, she'd eaten and she'd been unable to resist for more than a few seconds. I have no clue what made the difference and neither do you." Alice squeezed my fingers and slowly pronounced one word. "In—ex—perience."

I nodded, able to see where my sister was coming from. We _had_ only been at this a few weeks and Bella _was_ very different from the others. And uncontrolled. There wasn't a thing about her new body or abilities that worked the same twice in a row yet, not even when she let me into her thoughts.

"Edward, do you promise to answer me honestly?" Alice asked, garnering my complete attention.

"I don't see why I would ever lie to you, Ali," I replied.

She gave a curt nod, her amber eyes darkening slightly as she focused more intently on my face. "Did you truly not equate that wolf with her wolf?"

"Yes and no. I thought she would be surprised she had a preference for wolf, but never did I think she would truly consider a garden variety wolf to be some sort of kin to Jacob." I sighed and told the complete truth. "A small part of me did find it amusing and I'm pretty sure there was a smug smile somewhere in there too. I'm sure it's what set her off when she put me through the wall."

"I'd have put you through more than just a wall," my sister said, glaring at me with her arms folded across her chest.

"I'm not perfect. I've never claimed to be," I defended. "I'm possessive and I get jealous and I have immature thoughts from time to time."

Alice's face relaxed and she once again took my hand into hers. "I know you aren't perfect, Edward. It's just that you usually anticipate Bella's reactions so well. For you to be so far off the mark today … It just seemed _wrong_."

"And scary," Bella's soft voice said from behind me.

Alice quickly kissed my cheek and then darted through the rooftop door and into the house. '_Remember that she's frightened_,' she pleaded with her thoughts.

I nodded, planning to do just that. "Bella, would you like to join me here or would you prefer to go inside?" I asked, wanting her to be comfortable. I didn't want her worried she would catch a scent and take off.

"Could we talk inside, please? I'm not ready to be out just yet." Her voice and her hand shook as she held tightly to the door frame, sending a few bits of wood dust to rest at her feet.

I quickly moved to her side and gently pried her fingers away before whisking her off to our room. I settled into the chair near the window, keeping Bella in my arms where she belonged.

"You're shivering, Love. Would you like me to get the blanket from the bed?" I asked as I rubbed her arms.

"It won't work." Her voice sounded so small and I hated that I'd had any part in making her feel this way—even if it had only been accidental.

"I know what will." As quickly as I could, I set her down, got the fireplace going, and then wrapped us up in a blanket directly in front of the popping logs. "Better?"

"I didn't think I could feel the heat so well," she murmured. Her eyes were closed and a small smile of pleasure curled her lips. I pressed my lips into her hair and pulled the blanket tighter around us. I knew her coldness wasn't a physical feeling, but I was sure the attempt to warm her would be comforting.

"Did you have a nice talk with Jasper?" I asked, already knowing from Alice what Bella had wanted to ask him. I just didn't know his answer.

"Yes. He really helped me put things into perspective." She turned her head and tilted her chin, looking up with fear etched in her burgundy eyes. "I didn't mean to put too much pressure on you. And I'm sorry I can't remember what happened when I ran and I made the assumption you didn't try to stop me. But you were just sitting there, Edward. You've never ignored me that way. Even when you gave me the silent treatment with your lips, your eyes or your touch told me you still cared. But today … You were just _blank_. I know now it was because you were confused and unsure, but those are two things I never would have believed _you_ would feel, not for something like this."

I cupped her face with my hands and pressed our foreheads together, just needing to have a physical connection with her in some way. "I wasn't ignoring you. I just didn't know what to say."

"Jasper helped me to see that. But I really wish you could have been the one to say it. I know you aren't completely comfortable with just saying your feelings anymore than I am, but right now, I really need to know what you're thinking and feeling. I can't trust myself to judge anyone's feelings right now, not with mine so out of control. I had no idea I was so angry with you and I kept going from sitting or standing to attacking you. It wasn't until you finally restrained me that I was able to see where the breaking point had been."

"I'm sorry for that. I should have explained about it or had Jasper help you figure out where your stress points are with your emotions. I've made quite a few mistakes in your training so far, but if you could just trust me, Bella, I swear I'll make it all up to you. I'll fix all the mistakes and do all I can to make sure there aren't new ones."

She gave me a smile so tender I felt I didn't deserve it, not with the amount of pain and fear I could still see in her eyes. "I do trust you, Edward. And I know you'll do a great job of training me. All I ask is that you let everyone help us so we don't have any accidents."

"Don't be afraid, Isabella," I whispered, kissing her cheek softly.

"I'm sorry. I try so hard to be different and not be selfish, and at the same time to not compare anyone or anything to the coma dream. I didn't mean to be selfish with you again. I swear."

"Hush, Love," I murmured, tucking her head under my chin. I held her tightly as she sobbed silently, waiting for her guilt to pass so she would be able to listen and really hear my words.

'_I'm sorry._'

I couldn't help the ridiculously large smile on my face for having been let into her mind. "I want to tell you something Alice told me tonight. Do you think you're up for listening to it?"

'_I'll do anything you want. I have a lot to make up for._'

"You have nothing more than I do so let's just call this one even and move forward."

She nodded almost imperceptibly and I tightened my hold on her, placing a kiss to the top of her head.

I took in an unnecessary breath and did my best to relay my conversation and add in my own thoughts. "Alice said that you and I are not suffering from selfish behaviors, only inexperience. Even with all of your reading and all the questions you asked of each of us, there was no way for you to be completely prepared for the differences between your human life and your vampire life. Everything is overwhelming and uncontrolled right now and it's going to take you time to master your body and your abilities. A year is an optimistic time period for even the most controlled newborns so for only being a few weeks into this, you are doing remarkable.

"As for myself, I have never trained anyone with your unique qualities before. You gained new senses and new strength, but you move and act most times like you're still just Bella. It's probably why I'm having trouble remembering that you are in fact a wild and unpredictable newborn. I was careless to take you out by myself today and it's a mistake I will _not_ repeat. I also learned through talking to Alice that I've been neglectful in teaching you about discovering and controlling your emotional changes. That's another mistake I want to fix right away," I explained.

'_Can you start with fear? I keep telling myself there's no reason to feel afraid, but I just keep feeling it._'

"First, you have to calm yourself the best you can. Second, look inside and try to pinpoint all the reasons you might feel afraid, no matter how small. Finally, tell someone your fears. We've all felt something similar at one time or another. You have seven of us to rely on for knowledge and guidance so please don't ever feel insecure about asking questions. Even Rose will answer anything you ask if it means helping you."

'_I guess I'm afraid I'm repeating old mistakes by being selfish. And then I'm afraid those mistakes will push you away. Or already had since you were so silent. I was afraid of what Jake would think of me for killing a wolf. He was already so convinced I would be a monster. I know it's silly to care about his opinion when I'll probably never see him again, but he's still in my heart and my thoughts. But only as a friend, just to be clear._'

"No need for clarification. This is my ring on your lovely finger," I stated with complete confidence, catching the firelight on the face of the large diamond.

Bella gave a timid smile before wiggling her body and tucking herself further into me. She seemed a little more relaxed, but still in need of warmth and comfort.

I moved us a little closer to the fire and smiled when she purred softly. "Bella, you are silly to worry about Jake's thoughts, but not because you may not see him again. It's silly because he has the thoughts of an immature boy. There is nothing monstrous about you. Yes, you took the wolf down today, but you were feeding your thirst in the safest way possible. You are doing all you can to make sure you don't take human life and the very fact that you're so willing to go through the torture of resistance shows how beautiful of a person you are and how much you value life."

'_I wish we'd had this conversation right after instead of the one we did have._'

"I wish that too, Love. I'm sorry I was too confused to notice how scared you were. I thought you were just angry and being dramatic."

Bella sighed and tilted her head up, pressing her lips against my jaw. "I'm sorry, Edward."

"I'm sorry too," I said, bringing my lips down to hers for a soft kiss. "I love you so much. Even if you doubt me at times, never doubt that. Okay?"

She gave me a real smile as her eyes softened and her body relaxed, releasing some of the hurt and fear she'd been feeling. "I won't if you won't."

I chuckled as I moved us onto our sides in front of the fire. "Deal."

"Ditto," she whispered as she turned her face toward the heat and closed her eyes.

I brought my lips to her ear and sang her a few lyrics from a Rob Thomas song I'd come across a few months ago while searching for reception songs.

"_I would give my life to save you_

_I stand guarding at your door_

_I give you all that I am._"

She smiled and opened her eyes, turning them up toward me:

"_Dreams can't take the place of loving you,_

_There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true._

_When you look me in the eyes,_

_And tell me that you love me._

_Everything's alright_

_When you're right here by my side._"

I snorted and playfully pinched her side. "The Jonas Brothers? Really, Bella?"

"Blame Alice," she said through her giggles.

I smiled and started to sing her a little Van Morrison that seemed very appropriate after the day's events.

"_I'll be your man._

_I'll understand_

_And do my best_

_To take good care of you._

"_And you'll look at me_

_With eyes that see_

_And melt into each other's arms._

_And so I come to be the one_

_Who's always standing next to you._

_Reach out for me_

_So I can be the one_

_Who's always reaching out for you._"

"You skipped some words," she murmured softly as her fingers traced my face.

"I sang the appropriate parts," I replied before swooping in to kiss her softly.

Bella gave a small smile when I broke the kiss and then busied herself with tugging at my shirt collar. She was so preoccupied with whatever was on her mind that she didn't even realize she was touching clothing without ripping it. I wanted to point it out, but I was worried she might get startled. I didn't care if she ripped the shirt; I just wanted to know what was on her mind and not have her distracted by something else.

"What are you thinking, Love?" I asked.

"There's something we would do in my dream that I was wondering if we could do together now."

"What is it?"

"Not everyday or even every week, but if we could once in a while come to our room and just lay in the dark and talk, like we used to when I was human."

I smiled to reassure her. "I think that's something we could both benefit from."

"Can we start tonight? I really don't want to go downstairs and risk Emmett teasing me any further. I don't have the control to not pounce on him and I don't want to wreck the house."

I hugged her tightly and rested my head against hers. "I would love to have you all to myself for the rest of the night."

As promised, we stayed in front of the fire until the sun came up. Bella alternated between speaking aloud and letting me hear her thoughts on the few occasions she did share. She was still troubled by both of our actions and reactions, but at least her trust in me was intact. I planned to take the day easy and let her guide whatever we did for the day. Tomorrow, I would start being the trainer she deserved and I would fix all of my errors, starting with pulling the family in for help.

* * *

So there we go! Jasper and Alice are either really wise or incredibly insane, Edward has some training ground to make up, and Bella has come to terms with the knowledge that Edward is not a perfect super hero. The family is ready to step in and help out and Emmett's due a major butt kicking. Go Cullens!!

Have a great weekend everyone! See you next Saturday!


	13. Sibling Bonding the Vampire Way

**It all belongs to SM. ** I am lucky to dabble with them.

**Sibling Bonding the Vampire Way**

**Bella's POV:**

"Edward, this is further than usual," I said, squeezing down on his hand. I still wasn't completely comfortable with going far from the house, no matter how much of our family was with us.

Edward turned his head a little and smiled. "Relax, Love. We're just headed a little further out to test a theory."

"What theory?" I asked, trying again to get into that head of his. I was getting a little better at reading his facial expressions, but so far, I was still blocked out of his mind.

"The blood of a wolf has a wild odor and taste to it. It stands to reason that if you are attracted to it, you may be attracted to the mountain lion, though it won't be nearly as strong."

"What does that matter either way?"

"Different flavors affect us in different ways. Carlisle isn't sure if it's more of a mental or physical effect, we just know that it exists. Having what we crave makes us feel amped and energized where other types of animals simply dull the ache in our throats."

"So it's like you said before, that the blood is like a drug. One kind amps you up while another just satisfies."

"More or less, yes."

"And since I'm going up against Emmett today, you want me energized."

Edward smiled, looking both pleased and proud. "You are a very quick study, Bella."

"I'm trying my best," I promised.

It had been a whole week since the wolf incident and Edward had gone above and beyond to prove himself as my trainer. We had taken a couple of days to just focus on my feelings and getting me comfortable with the wide range and quick changes in them. After that, we had started back on the physical aspects of my new body. And on plotting my revenge on Emmett. We—Alice, Jasper, Edward, Rose, and myself—had decided waiting until he'd forgotten all about his damn wolf song would be the best way to catch him off guard. Today, I would finally get my revenge.

"You're doing great, Bella," Alice piped up from behind us. "Right, Rose?"

"Yeah, sure. She hasn't ripped into a human yet so I guess that counts," Rosalie replied. She'd come hunting with us of her own free will so at least she was trying to make an effort with me. And she was still giving her permission for me to fight Emmett, so there had to be at least a little respect in there somewhere.

Edward started to slow down and I did the same, but Rose and Alice went a few feet further up before stopping.

"What's going on?" I asked, turning my eyes toward Edward.

"I won't be there to see your first lion hunt in person, but Alice will make sure I know all about it," he said, tapping his temple with one finger.

"Why not? Why aren't you coming? Where are you going?" I asked, feeling a little panicked.

"Calm down, Bella," he said, pulling me into his arms. "You'll be fine and do wonderful. And I will be here within range to hear Alice's thoughts if my help is required. But you're ready for your first hunt with your sisters and it's an important step, both for you personally and in your relationship with them. Plus, it will give you the opportunity to ask them any questions you may have that you don't feel comfortable asking me."

"Are you sure about this? I mean, I just always thought my first time around a mountain lion would be with you."

"You need to hunt well and you need to hunt with your sisters. If it means I won't be there the first time, then that's alright. And do you know why?"

"No," I admitted.

He smiled as he pressed his forehead to mine. "Because we have forever and there will be so many more opportunities to share that experience with you. There will never be a reason to rush anything between us."

"You are really amazing, you know that?"

"I know I love you and will do anything to ensure your happiness."

"Thank you," I said as I pressed my lips to his for a small kiss.

"You can thank me properly later. For now, go hunt," he said, giving me a quick kiss before releasing me.

Alice smiled and held her hand out to me and I quickly joined her, gratefully taking her hand and support.

"Will it be really different hunting with you?" I asked once we started moving again.

Alice chuckled. "There won't be any fist pumping or 'mine was this big' talk."

"We're just as fierce in our method of takedown, though," Rose said.

"We're also neater," Alice added.

"Do you often hunt together?" I asked.

"Not too often. We tend to hunt more as couples," Alice replied.

If I were human, I knew my face would be flaming red for what I was about to ask. I kept my voice low so Edward wouldn't hear and was thankful once again that he could only hear my thoughts when I wanted. "Um … is the couple hunting … is that because of how you _feel_ right after?"

Rosalie snorted and smirked. "I told you she was too shy to talk to Edward about it."

"I didn't want to say anything and find out I was being weird," I admitted.

"You aren't weird," Alice assured me. "We all feel it. The thrill of the hunt mixed with the way our bodies feel more aware and alive after feeding can leave us feeling aroused. It's strongest early on or when you feed from the animal you crave most."

"Have you given in to the urge yet?" Rose asked.

I shook my head.

"I don't know how you resist certain things the way you do," Alice said, shaking her head a little. "I know the first time I hunted with Jasper, I couldn't control myself at all after."

"I make a point of not controlling myself," Rosalie said, a dark smile lighting up her beautiful face.

"What … What would happen if I gave in?" I asked.

"Sex in the woods," Alice replied matter-of-factly. "It's nearly impossible for the males to resist the intense smell of our arousal at that moment. I seriously doubt that even Edward's super supply of willpower could withstand you."

"So he wouldn't think I was weird? Or be upset that I wanted him right after killing something?" I questioned, really trying to be open and let the girls help me.

"If anything, he thinks it's weird you haven't tried to jump the hell out of him right after," Rosalie said.

"He doesn't think it's weird," Alice argued. "He knows you're still trying to figure your emotions out, Bella. He knows you'll open up to him when you're ready."

"Is that why he had me hunt with you guys today?" I asked.

"Part of the reason," Alice admitted. "The other part is that we wanted to hunt with you. So far, the boys have been taking you out and though they don't mean it, they make it seem like they're taking a feral animal out for a walk. We thought it might be more relaxing if Rose and I took you."

I knew I had to look as confused as I felt right then. "But don't they have to be that way? I mean, be on alert in case I try to bolt after a smell?"

"Alert, yes. And surround you, definitely. But they could talk to you and lighten the mood instead of stalking at your side and looking all around like some kind of security detail," Alice explained.

"I'm telling you it all stems from Edward not talking much when the guys go off together," Rose said. "If he had been the kind to talk and share, I'm sure Em and Jazz would be more talkative when going out with Bella and him now."

"So all those times they took group trips, Edward never really talked to his brothers?" I asked.

"Not until this last year," Alice answered. "He's getting better at it, but it takes him time to adjust."

I nodded, having seen that first hand in many areas of our relationship. And then I came up with yet another question for my sisters. "I know that Emmett is the bear and Edward is the mountain lion. What's everyone else's animal?"

Rosalie gave a wicked smile while Alice looked a little worried. "Be kind, please," Alice pleaded.

"In New York, we have a gray wolf," Rose said, her golden eyes trained right on me. "They're actually quite similar to the gray wolves you find here."

"I found mine two decades ago when Jasper and I took a trip to Africa," Alice piped up immediately. "Cheetahs. They're so graceful and I find their coats to be very fashionable for that part of the world."

"So you …" I trailed off, looking only at Rosalie.

"More irony, right?" she questioned, smirking a little. "The two big opposites in the house having a craving for the same animal, only one enjoys and the other is abhorred."

I shook my head and stopped walking with them, plopping down in the snow. "I don't know what it is, if it's irony or some weird kind of punishment. And I really wish I could have a good cry right about now."

"Yeah, it really sucks that you have the feeling of tears welling up, but none ever fall," Rose agreed, sitting down next to me. "It's not all super strength and games."

"I don't regret my choice," I told her.

"Of course not. You're too stubborn for that. And incidentally, that's what makes you so damn much like my brother."

"Are you still mad at me for choosing Edward over staying human?"

"Yes," she replied, giving me a glare before her eyes slightly softened. "And no. I get why you did it and seeing this very different and less uptight side of Edward does seem worth it in a way. But I think it's pretty shitty of you to be forcing Edward and Jasper to teach you to resist an animal because it looks like your pet friend."

"I'm not forcing," I argued. "I asked them to help and they said that even though they disagree, they would."

"You've had a whole week to think about it, Bella. Can you honestly still not see that the wolves out here are nothing like your old friends?"

"I do see it, but knowing in my head and convincing my heart are two different things. Haven't you ever felt that way about anything?"

Rosalie lifted her head just a little and turned her eyes completely on me. "You."

"What do you mean by that?"

"In my head, I know you're good for my brother, but in my heart, I can't accept your choice. Not yet. I just keep seeing you older and married with little children in a perfect little house where there's sunshine and no need to move or lie."

"I never wanted children, Rosalie. That was never my dream future. And the only reason I would ever agree to having a child was if it was Edward's, if I could give him that gift of fatherhood. I don't care where I live so long as I'm with the people I love, and if I want sunshine, there are places Edward will be able to take me later on. With all of you, I have things I never knew growing up. I have two parents and siblings and I get to be my own age and not have to be the constant adult. Before, if I was sad, my pillow was the only one to know about it. Now, I can go to Edward, or to Alice, and even you one day. I know that might not seem like a big deal to you, but to me, those things are priceless."

Rosalie's lips parted, but then she shook her head and jumped to her feet. She kept her eyes on her hands as she brushed the snow from her pants. "Emmett's sort of priceless to me, so make sure all of his appendages are still attached when you finish with him this afternoon."

I only nodded, not sure of what else could be said. I guess I could have offered not to fight with him, but she most likely would have taken that as a cheap attempt at getting on her good side. Whenever Rosalie and I found a way to truly get along, it would happen when and how it was supposed to occur. And clearly, that was not going to be today.

* * *

**LATER THAT DAY:**

"Bella, you're growling," Edward whispered as he squeezed my ankle. "Lock down your emotions as best you can until it's time."

I nodded quickly while keeping my eyes trained on my target about a mile out and far below me. Edward and I were high up in one of the many Sitka Spruce trees that covered this part of the woods, hiding and waiting for the right moment.

"Relax," Edward urged, rubbing at the small of my back. "Wait for him to come to you. Always let your enemy engage until you have them strategically placed in your favor. Once that happens, go on the offensive and don't let up until it's over."

"Just don't let me get too carried away and do anything I'll regret," I reminded him.

"Jasper and I will be monitoring you closely," he promised.

I nodded and turned my eyes back to Emmett, dissecting every movement he made as he lumbered forward with Jasper at his side. They were walking and taking their time coming our way under the guise that Jasper needed a break from Alice's plans for Valentine's Day. It was just a few days from now and the whole family would be spending the morning with the Denali clan and then spending the night camping much further north where there would be few smells other than ice. Alice had appointed herself in charge of picking camping gear and outfits.

"Jasper, did you see the link I sent you for the YouTube video of the giant Lego ball rolling down the street?" Emmett asked as they finally started to near my tree.

"Saw it. It's fake," Jasper replied.

"How the hell do you know?"

"A ball made of squares is not round. The more corners an object has, the slower it will move. It will also move in a jerky pattern and not a smooth one. The Lego ball in the video was too perfect both in shape and movement."

"You just want to rain all over my damn parade, Jazz. You're a buzzkill, Man."

"That is a perk, but I'm still right. Besides, _Myth Busters_ tested it. It broke apart within the first few rolls."

"I still think we should test it ourselves."

Jasper snorted. "Great use of our never-ending funds. But it'll have to wait until the snow melts."

"Find out from Twinkle Toes when that will be and I'll set it up to have the Lego's delivered a couple days before."

"Em, this is your last warning. Stop calling Alice names that have anything to do with fairies, pixies, or other tiny mythical creatures. She doesn't like it and anything she doesn't like, I don't like."

"God," Emmett groaned. "You're turning into Edward."

"Now," Edward whispered low enough for only me to hear.

I was off that branch and landing heavily on Emmett's shoulders in a flash. My weight plus the pull of gravity sent him sprawling face first into the snow while I pulled off a perfect back flip and landed feet first in the middle of his back.

A loud curse flew out of his mouth and was quickly followed by a second when I dropped to my knees and grabbed a handful of hair, jerking his head back toward me. I growled into his ear as loud as I could, which ended up being enough to shake the snow from the trees around us.

"What the hell, Bella?" Emmett yelled, trying and failing to buck me off.

"Payback." I guess that was answer enough because he let out another curse.

He also tried again to buck me off. I shoved his head forward and into the snow and while he was busy digging it out, I turned and grabbed his legs, hooking my arms around them and pulling them back toward his head as hard as I could.

"What the hell are you doing? Trying to turn me into a pretzel," he barked as he tried and failed to turn on his side.

"I'm just getting warmed up," I told him, yanking harder on his legs.

"Bella, do the move I showed you," Jasper urged.

I nodded and ran through the steps in my head before making a move. Emmett started to thrash harder, probably out of worry for what "the move" might be. I leaned as far back as I could and when he bucked again, I used his own momentum to propel him out from under me and into the air before using his legs to slam him back into the ground. The thud echoed into the trees and made the ground around us shake.

"Beautiful, Bella!" Edward cheered.

"You show him who's boss, darlin'," Jasper yelled out. I was pretty sure if I were to look over at him, I'd see him pumping a fist into the air.

"My own damn brothers," Emmett grumbled between spitting out bits of snow.

I moved a few feet away to let him get up. The initial attack was by surprise to show I was capable of it, but I wanted him to see every second of the actual ass whooping that was coming his way.

"Alright, Newbie. You got the drop on me because I wasn't expecting it, but I'm ready for you now," he said, flexing his arms and cracking his knuckles.

"He's going to eat those words," Edward said to Jasper. The two of them were standing nearby with their arms crossed in front of them.

"Right along with her fist and a face full of snow," Jasper added with a laugh.

"She's a damn, Newbie," Emmett argued, pointing a finger at me. "Her strength against my experience won't—"

He probably would have kept on talking if I hadn't darted forward, grabbed his finger and used it to toss him right over my head and into a tree trunk. There was a horrible cracking sound, but the tree managed to stay upright. Emmett stumbled away from it, shaking his head and sending splinter fragments into the air and snow.

Jasper chuckled. "I think that round goes to the Newbie. Edward?"

"Definitely the Newbie," he agreed, winking at me.

I smiled and Emmett must have thought I wasn't paying attention to him because he chose that moment to lunge at me. I jumped just the way Alice had in training and sailed right over his head. His fingers brushed the side of my boot, but he wasn't able to get a grip. He turned and came at me again just as I landed so I dropped down low and swept out my foot, using his momentum against him for a second time and sending him sprawling into the snow face first for a record third time.

He let out a long growl as he did this weird push up thing to move him from lying down to standing. "Alright. You want a fight, little girl, you got one."

I felt so on fire and alive in that moment, not sure if it was the fighting or the lion from earlier, and I wanted nothing more than to charge right into him and deflate his stomach and ego in the same second, but I listened to Edward's instructions instead. I let Emmett come to me, which he did in six big lumbering steps.

A growl came out of him as his hand flew toward my head, just like a bear would bat at whatever it was fighting. I ducked, but wasn't quite quick enough and felt his fingers brush over my hair. Thankfully, he didn't think to grab my ponytail and I was able to roll away from him.

"Keep an eye on him, Bella," Edward warned.

"Stay low," Jasper directed.

"Don't listen to either of them, Newbie. Just say 'stop' and we end it here before you get hurt," Emmett said. "I'll forgive the attack as payment for the song thing."

"I don't need your forgiveness, but you're going to wish you had mine," I threatened.

He lunged again and this time, I met him halfway. Our collision sounded like a giant crack of thunder, shaking everything around us. Emmett tried to get me in a headlock, but I managed to push his arms away from my head. While I was focused on his hands, he kicked out with his foot and caught me right behind the knee, sending me to the ground so suddenly that he fell on top of me. I panicked for just a second before remembering that for now _I_ was stronger. Using that knowledge, I shoved him off of me; more like _threw_ him off and into the trees.

"Excellent, Bella!" Edward cheered.

"Don't let him intimidate you, Bells. You have the strength and the cunning to best him," Jasper called out.

"Bullshit," Emmett yelled out.

I turned toward his voice just a fraction of a second too late, taking part of the tree his body broke right into my chest.

Edward and Jasper's voices were a mixture of growling and yelling as they stood over me, tossing the tree piece away and chiding Emmett for cheating.

"Don't worry about it," I told them as Edward pulled me to my feet. "I'm not afraid of him or his tree."

"Then show him," Edward encouraged, letting go of me and stepping back. He was telling me and showing me that he had faith in me and that made my heart and confidence soar.

This time, I charged first. Emmett stood his ground, waiting for me to get within reach of his arms. But instead of continuing straight for his chest, I dropped to the ground and did a baseball slide between his legs, jumping to my feet as soon as I had cleared him. I quickly kicked out, connecting my booted foot with the middle of his back. He stumbled forward a bit and then turned, growling as he lumbered toward me. He did that bear swat thing again and I ducked under his arm before countering with a punch to his right side.

"Fuck," he hissed.

I smiled at having gotten that reaction out of him, but quickly went back to focusing, especially since he was throwing a kick at me. I did a back flip just the way Edward had shone me yesterday and it took me right out of Emmett's kicking range.

"Where the hell did you learn that?" Emmett asked, looking both surprised and pleased.

"Edward," I replied proudly, taking a quick second to flash him a smile.

"I hope he taught you more moves than that one, Newbie. You're going to need them," Emmett said before charging me again. This time, he looked more like a defensive linemen for a football team than a man in a fight. He had his shoulders squared and his lowered, looking ready to slam the full weight of his body into me. I knew I couldn't go low or he'd run right over me and I didn't have enough time to jump and clear him, so that left me with only one choice …

Both Edward and Jasper had said again and again in training this week that timing was everything. If I had moved too soon, I would have missed. If I had moved too late, I would have been plowed backward and into the snow by Emmett. But since I moved at the exact fraction of a second I should have, my knee connected with Emmett's chin and my hands pushed against his right shoulder, sending him off to land heavily at my side.

The sound of my knee meeting his chin had been horrible, like two racing cars meeting head-on and crumpling around each other. I just knew there was no way he could be alright after that and I rushed to his side, gently turning him over.

"Emmett?"

His eyes were full of pain and my heart dropped with the weight of my guilt. He pushed me aside and sat up, using his hand to pop his jaw back to the position it belonged in.

"Emmett, I didn't want to hit you that hard. I just wanted—"

His growl cut me off. "You can kick my ass. Got it."

"Emmett, just—"

For as big as he was, he was surprisingly agile and fast when he wanted to be, which was right then because he took off without another word.

"Don't feel guilty, Bella," Jasper said as he pulled me to my feet. "Emmett's run off to pout about his loss. He'll come back and apologize in his own way, both for losing his cool just now and for the song."

"I wasn't trying to truly hurt him." I wasn't sure why, but I felt the need to say it even though I knew Jasper and Edward understood.

"Would it make you feel better if I track him down and check on him?" Jasper asked.

"It really would," I replied immediately. "I'd owe you a favor."

Jasper gave me a big smile. "No, you don't. It's what a brother does for his sister."

His sweet words had my emotions flying off in a completely different direction and I threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Thank you, Jasper."

"No problem, Bells," he said, giving me a squeeze before letting me go.

"Edward, she should hunt on the way home," Jasper cautioned before heading off in the direction Emmett had disappeared.

"How do you feel?" Edward asked, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me tight against his side.

I took a second to take stock of myself before answering. "Good, bad, guilty, and hungry. It's surreal to be able to feel such different emotions at the very same time, and to feel them so strongly. And I don't get the hungry part with the size of that mountain lion from this morning."

"We may not be 'alive' in the traditional sense, but we still expend energy like any other living creature. Your fight was very intense and at your young age, it takes a lot of energy to accomplish that sort of thing."

"I don't like it being just us," I told him.

"It's not," Alice said, appearing between two trees. "I watched the whole thing, but knowing I was here would have made Emmett even surlier."

"We're just going to let you catch a stag on the way home," Edward told me. "That should be more than enough to satisfy your hunger."

'_Edward._'

He squeezed my fingers to show he'd heard me.

'_If possible, can we find a deer very close to the house? I have something to discuss with you privately, but I want to make sure you have help if you need it._'

He nodded his head and smiled a little—I wondered if he had an idea of what I wanted to talk about. And then I started to wonder how much of this afternoon's conversation had actually been just between girls.

We found a few deer wandering a couple miles from the house and as soon as I set eyes on my future meal, the thirst took over and I was lost to the burn until it was soothed away to a dull throb. Edward offered to dispose of the corpse, but I opted to do it myself this time. Each of my family members had shown me a different way to get rid of the evidence so that I would know how to do it in any kind of situation. This evening, I did it the way Carlisle had shown me, slashing claw marks into the hide to make it appear like an animal attack.

"That's very good, Bella," Edward commented, leaning over my kill. "But until you have better control over how deeply you bite into the neck, that method won't work for you. You'll have to either pulverize it by hand or put it beneath something. There's a large fell tree to our left."

"Tree," I said as I lifted the poor dead animal up from the ground. "My stomach that's incapable of being sick is still doing somersaults at the pulverizing idea."

"You cannot complete the physical action, but many of the emotions and physical feelings you had as a human will stay with you."

I didn't say anything else until the deer was gone and I was sure Alice wasn't with us any longer. We moved a little closer to the house while still remaining in the woods before I spoke.

"I wanted to thank you for letting me hunt with the girls this morning," I said to Edward, smiling up at him.

"You're welcome, Love," he replied immediately, pulling me closer to his side. "I'm glad you enjoyed your time with them."

"I did. And I was able to ask them a lot of questions. But I'm still confused about one aspect."

"Which one?"

I stopped and turned to face him, moving as close to him as I could. "How can I want to be with you so badly after taking a life? And it's not so much that I took that deer's life as it is having to discard of the remains. I feel like I should be burying it, not tossing it aside like its nothing more than a chicken bone. But even though I feel that way, it's eclipsed by how much I want to be kissing and touching you. I don't understand how two completely opposite feelings can be happening to me at the same time."

"This is what I meant when I tried to explain to you that we feel more than humans do. We are constantly bombarded with conflicting thoughts and feelings because it takes so very little time for us to process things. Look at a room for two seconds and you will have every piece of furniture, every color, and every knickknack in the room memorized. And while you're memorizing, you'll be contemplating whether or not you like what's in the room and how you would change it if it were your room. It can be an overwhelming feeling."

"Why don't I feel guilty for this needy way I feel?"

"Because it is a need and not a mere want. As I've told you before, Carlisle has come up with many great theories about how our bodies work, but even he doesn't have all the answers. We only know there is a need to connect with your mate if you're together while hunting. Something similar, but much more unpredictable and powerful happens to us when there is an electrical storm."

I filed away the storm information for later, wanting to focus on what I felt right in this moment. "But I can resist the need. How can I do that?"

"I suspect your need to be, for lack of a better term, a _normal_ vampire overrides your after-hunt need."

"Not now because I'm still too worried about getting away to be able to enjoy it, but maybe in a few months, we could explore this way I feel after hunting?"

Edward smiled and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Whenever you are ready, my love."

I wrapped my arms tightly around him and pressed my face into his shirt, feeling extremely lucky to have such an understanding husband. He was doing such a great job of balancing training me with anticipating my needs, and while I made sure to appreciate it completely, I didn't expect him to get it right every time. Not anymore. I'd been so terrified when I'd first learned he wasn't the superhero I'd built him up to be in my head. But now, I could clearly see what he was truly capable of and what was asking too much of him. And I could appreciate him all the more for his efforts. When all of this was done and I was trained and under control, I would make sure to do something great for him, something no one else had ever done for him. I would show Edward that even though he wasn't a superhero, he was still _my_ hero.

* * *

Hope you guys enjoyed Emmett's arse kicking as much as I did writing it!!

There won't be a chapter next Saturday because I'll be taking a quick vacation to visit family and celebrate my birthday. And of course, to watch NEW MOON!! Hope all of you enjoy the movie next week!!


	14. For My Valentine

**It all belongs to SM. ** I am lucky to dabble with them.

**For My Valentine**

**Edward's POV:**

"Alice, is this still safe?" I asked from my spot on the sofa.

"Absolutely," she assured me with a smile. "I wouldn't risk Bella any more than you would." She touched a few more things on the desk and then stood back with her hands on her hips. "I think that does it. The lighting will be muted enough that her face can be made out but her eyes will seem like a trick of the light."

"Are you sure Charlie and Renee will know what to do?"

"Of course. I sent explicit instructions and made sure all they would have to do was turn it on and click one little icon."

"I really hope she likes this and doesn't get homesick."

"She won't get homesick because she is home, Edward. Stop imagining the worst and just relax."

"It's the first time I get to celebrate this holiday with her, Alice. I want it to be perfect for her."

Alice snorted and shook her head. "Pretty much anything you do for her is perfect in her eyes."

"Is she still nervous about meeting our friends today?"

My sister shrugged. "If she is, she's hiding it well from me." Alice crossed the room and joined me on the sofa. "Has she spoken to you about what was discussed the other day when she hunted with Rosalie and me?"

"Some," I said with a nod. "We spoke about her feelings right after the hunt and she expressed an interest, though she said she wants to wait until she's more controlled."

"Is that all she mentioned?"

Between Alice's odd tone and her reciting poetry in German in her head, I was quickly becoming worried. "What should she have mentioned, Alice?"

With a sigh, she turned her face up to mine, looking both sad and apologetic. "The topic of preferred animals came up."

I didn't need any more information than that. Rose had done exactly what I'd asked her not to, revealing her preferred animal to Bella. It wasn't that I had planned to hide it forever, just until Bella was in a better frame of mind about her craving. Leave it to Rosalie to decide she knew better than anyone else.

"How did Bella take the news?" I asked.

"The conversation segued so quickly into choosing our life over a human one that I don't think Bella had the chance to really process the news. On the plus side, I think Bella actually got through to Rose a little. She made it very clear that Rose's idea of a perfect life wasn't the same as hers."

"Edward!" Bella squealed as she rushed into Jasper's office with our brother chasing right after her. She jumped and I readied myself for broken furniture and her guilty feelings, but she landed perfectly in my lap and the sofa didn't even creek. I smiled proudly as I wrapped my arms tightly around her.

"Running to him is big time cheating, Bella Cullen!" Jasper chided.

"You were cheating, too! Don't think I didn't feel the apprehension you were throwing my way, Jasper Whitlock Cullen," Bella replied.

"What in the world have you two been up to?" Alice asked with a laugh as she wrapped her arms around Jasper's waist.

"Hey, darlin'," Jasper said as he pressed a kiss into her hair. "I was trying to teach her to play Texas Hold 'Em."

"He was trying to make sure I _lost_ at the card game," Bella corrected.

"Don't believe the Newbie," Jasper said, winking at Bella.

"Don't believe the Oldie," she shot back, getting a giggle out of Alice. "So what are you two doing in here?"

"We'll just be down the hall if you have any questions," Alice said, leading Jasper from the room and closing the door behind them.

"What's going on?" Bella asked, turning her burgundy eyes up to me.

"I know how much you hate it when money is spent on you directly so I got something that will be for those who love you as much as it is a gift for you," I explained.

"Quit being cryptic, Mr. Cullen," she demanded with narrowed eyes and drawn down eyebrows. "What did you do?"

I only smiled and brought her over to the desk, setting her down in Jasper's chair.

"Why are we in Jasper's office if you got _me_ something?" she questioned, looking around the room.

"Because his computer is faster than yours and the lighting in here meets the necessary requirements," I said as I flicked a finger over the touchpad and brought the laptop screen up.

"Lighting?" Her burgundy eyes were practically burning with curiosity while the rest of her was tense with anticipation. I truly hoped she would enjoy this gift and use it often—she would only have a few years at the most to use it.

I clicked a few buttons and brought up two windows, one with Charlie's perplexed face and the other with Renee's beaming smile. A third came up in the bottom corner, showing the side of Bella's face since she was still looking up at me.

"Happy Valentine's, Love," I said as I gently turned her face toward the monitor.

* * *

**Bella's POV:**

I couldn't do anything but gasp as I stared at the laptop screen. Renee and Charlie! Looking vivid enough to reach out and touch them through the screen, though I knew I couldn't. I felt the sensation of tears welling up behind my eyes and choked back a small sob before jumping from the chair and hugging Edward with everything I had.

It was his turn to gasp and then he let out a breathless chuckle, asking me to release him. I did and sat back in the chair, happily greeting my parents.

"Bella! You're getting so pale up there in Alaska," Renee chided. "You need to come down to Jacksonville as soon as you can and catch yourself a tan."

"Tans never hold well, Mom," I told her, only partially lying. I'd burned more often than tanned as a human.

"Don't forget to visit me if you're in the traveling mood," Charlie piped up, giving me what I knew was a genuine smile and invite. "I miss you, Bells. And you, too, Edward."

"I think I hear Alice calling," Edward said as he leaned down for the camera to catch his face. "I'll leave the three of you to speak. Renee, it was lovely to see you, as always. Charlie, when we visit, perhaps you and I can do some fishing?"

"I never knew you were into that, Edward. I'd have dragged you along long ago if I had known," Charlie replied.

"Carlisle has been encouraging us all to try new hobbies and it seems to be the only one Emmett cannot stand, which makes it an instant favorite," Edward said with a small laugh.

"Yeah, I could see where he wouldn't appreciate the quiet," Charlie agreed. "Be careful, Edward. And keep taking good care of our daughter."

Edward smiled and nodded. "Always."

I gave him another hug and kiss before allowing him to leave and then I gave out a small squeal that had my parents laughing.

"Renee, can you remember the last time she was this excited?" Charlie asked.

"She was six," Renee replied with a big smile. "It was before she knew she was clumsy and she was so excited to start ballet. She talked your ear off for a good half hour."

"This isn't going to turn into you two having an 'embarrassing Bella moments' contest, is it? 'Cause if so, I'd like to be left out," I told them.

"It's just a little fun teasing, Bella," Renee said. "You look great, Baby. You look so happy and somehow more grown up."

I was sure I had a ridiculously big smile on my face, but I didn't even care. I _was_ happy and I wanted my parents to know that. "I am growing up, Mom. I'm learning so much from being a wife and living with everyone. I'm so happy here."

"Good," Charlie said, giving me another grin. "I'm glad Edward is keeping his promise."

"He would never do anything else, Dad. He loves me so much," I assured him.

"And does he love all of those little outfits Alice and I picked out for you?" Renee asked. The smile she had on her face was somewhere between Alice's mischievous one and Rose's snide one.

"Mom," I groaned, leaning back in the chair and shaking my head at her behavior.

"Renee, that's really not the kind of thing we should be talking to her about," Charlie said, looking nearly as uncomfortable as I was feeling.

"We'll talk later, Bells," she assured me.

I could only nod, knowing there was no way to dissuade her now that she'd set her mind to it. And then I smiled wide, feeling so loved that Edward would arrange all of this just so I could see and talk to my parents. Just getting them setup with computers and helping them get online had to have been a major undertaking since both of my parents were technology challenged. I just hoped my gift to him would put a similar smile on his face. It wasn't much; just a 1920's baseball bat signed by some guy named Mickey Mantle. I had no idea who he was, but Jasper assured me he was a great player and that Edward would love the gift.

* * *

**Edward's POV:**

Bella's scent preceded her into the room and I smiled as her arms wrapped around my waist and her face pressed into my back. She mumbled a soft "thank you" that I heard clearly; I also heard the warble caused by the tears she could not shed. I immediately turned and held her close, resting my head against hers while she calmed.

"Can I talk to them that way often?" Bella mumbled into my shirt.

"As often as you like, Love. And as long as you have Alice set the blinds to that exact level to keep the color of your eyes hidden."

"Thank you so much for that, Edward. I can't even begin to tell you what it meant to see my parents and not just talk to them on the phone."

"I'm glad you liked your gift so much."

"You're my real gift. Seeing my parents is just a very big positive side effect."

I gave out a very Emmett-like sound, something between a snort and a laugh. "The way you see me is ludicrous."

She chuckled and tightened her arms around me while tilting her face up and pressing her chin into my chest. "Works both ways."

"Are you ready to head over to visit our friends?"

"I guess," she answered with her lips. "_Absolutely not_," her furrowed brow and tense posture screamed. I could only hope actually meeting our friends would get rid of the silly notions in Bella's head. She was positive Tanya would hate her simply for being my wife and that Irina would hate her because of Laurent.

While I had no way to know if Irina had taken a true interest in the deceased vampire, I was certain it couldn't have been more than a crush. If Irina had felt a tenth for him what I felt for Bella, she would not have allowed him to travel on his own. She certainly would not have allowed him to get so close to harming Bella.

As for Tanya, she had been nothing but supportive of my relationship with Bella from the very start. During the time I'd spent in Alaska right after meeting Bella, Tanya had listened to everything I had said as much as what I had not been able to say. She had given me the advice and guidance I'd needed to return to my family. I had no reason to believe she would not support my marriage just as whole-heartedly.

"Shouldn't I give you your gift since you've already given me mine?" Bella questioned. I could see in her burgundy eyes she knew she was giving a bad attempt at stalling the inevitable.

"I can wait until tonight when we are alone in our tent."

The mention of our impending camping trip brought a smile to Bella's lips and lit up her eyes with joy and excitement. "This could be the first time I enjoy being in a tent under the stars."

"It will be," I assured her before leaning down and claiming her lips with mine.

"We're ready to go," Alice called from the doorway.

"I have to get my bag with his gifts," Bella said as she pulled away from me.

"It's already in the Volvo," Alice replied.

Bella nodded and I slipped an arm around her back, leading from our room and down the large staircase. We all put our parkas on for appearances sake and then made our way outside and to the cars.

The trip to the Denali clan's home was short, but Alice and Bella managed to pack a ton of conversations into the limited time. Most of the conversations were about future plans for when Bella was ready to be among humans again. I was happy to see she was looking toward the future and had confidence that she would be able to control herself someday.

"It's pretty here," Bella said as I opened her car door. The Denali home was only two stories high, but it was wide and filled with a variety of rooms. One of my favorites was the living room and its see-through fireplace. The other side of it was the large library. It wasn't nearly as impressive as Carlisle's library, but it was by no means unsatisfactory.

"Wait until you see the inside." I took her hand and helped her out of the car, holding her close to my side both to keep her relaxed and to ensure she didn't catch a smell and take off.

"You'll love the oversized sofas in the living room," Alice said as we joined the rest of the family and moved toward the house.

"I bet Bells enjoys the view from the widow's walk," Emmett said, giving her a grin.

"Save it for the sunset," Rose replied, keeping her eyes focused straight ahead. I couldn't understand her need to seem so uninterested in Bella when we all knew the truth—she loved Bella.

"Maybe since it's your idea, you would join us?" Bella questioned, smiling up at Rose.

My sister only shrugged, keeping that disinterred look on her face. She also blocked out whatever thoughts she was having by going over the list of makeup items she carried in her bag.

Just as we reached the porch, the front door opened. Carmen and Eleazar stepped out and greeted us with warm smiles.

"Carlisle, it has been far too long," Eleazar said as they shook hands.

"Welcome," Carmen greeted Esme as the two hugged.

"Carmen, Eleazar," Esme said as she took their hands and led them over to Bella and me. "I would like you both to meet our Bella."

"We have heard much about you and it's a true pleasure," Eleazar said as he shook Bella's hand.

Carmen smiled and kissed Bella's cheek. "So beautiful."

Bella's head dipped forward, giving away her embarrassment.

"Edward, you are hardly recognizable," Eleazar said while we shook hands.

"Love changes everything," Carmen announced, smiling as I gave her a one-armed hug. My other arm would remain exactly where it belonged—around my wife.

"Don't leave our guests on the porch all day," Kate called from inside the house.

Carmen chuckled and Eleazar smiled as he waved us toward the door.

Bella tightened her grip on my hand but allowed me to lead her inside. I truly hoped meeting everyone would relax her and allow her to enjoy her time with our friends.

* * *

**Bella's POV:**

So far, so good. Carmen and Eleazar seemed nice enough. Though, it was never them that had worried me. It was the three sisters: Tanya, Irina, and Kate. Between my dream and the stories I'd heard about the three … I knew Edward wanted me to be open minded and trust them the way he did, but I couldn't seem to manage it. At least not yet.

We stepped inside and my eyes quickly adjusted to the change in lighting. Outside, it had been overcast and gray. Inside, it was bright and inviting with a large fire roaring in the middle of the room. A tall woman stood near the mantel and I knew immediately that she was Tanya. Her strawberry-blond hair had a slight wave to it, her full lips were ruby red, and her wide eyes matched an amber stone, complete with all the various shades you would expect to find in the gemstone. She had high check bones, a rounded chin, and a slim nose that was rounded right at the end—she would be famous as a model.

"Rosalie," the woman greeted, immediately crossing the room and wrapping her arms around Rose. I'd only ever seen Rose hug Esme and Emmett, so to see her not only accepting but reciprocating another hug was odd for me.

"Tanya, it's been entirely too long," Rose said with a smile.

They were friends. I don't know why that seemed so shocking to me since Edward had said it so often. Then again, I had been sort of preoccupied with what kind of friends they were with Edward. Not once had I imagined what their friendships were like with the rest of the family. I couldn't help but wonder if Rose's dislike of me had more to do with Tanya than my humanness.

"It doesn't," Edward whispered into my ear.

I looked up at him in confusion.

"You're distracted and upset, and you've dropped your shield," he explained.

I immediately corrected that—and caused Edward to frown at me. "What?"

"I like when you allow me inside."

"I know, but … it's a mess in there right now."

"Edward, are you listening at all?" Tanya's accented voice called out.

He squeezed my fingers while lifting his head and smiling at her. "What have I missed?"

"I asked if you were going to introduce me to your lovely Bella," she replied, stepping closer to us.

His smile widened and he moved me forward so that I was nearly between the two of them. "Tanya, this is my Bella. Bella, this is our friend, Tanya."

"It is a true pleasure to finally meet you," Tanya said as she took my hand into hers.

"So this is her?" a woman with pressed lips questioned. She had perfectly arched eyebrows with the same nose and chin as Tanya. Her hair was piled up on her head in a bun and was so many different shades and streaks of brown and blond that she didn't seem to have a true color.

"Irina, manners," Tanya chided.

"Not my fault that I expected more," Irina replied. There was something about the way her face seemed pinched that made me uneasy and I wished I had Edward's gift to read minds—or at least the ability to hear what he was hearing.

"You can't judge by looks," Kate said as she joined her sisters in front of me. She was only slightly shorter than her sisters and her hair was an odd mix of brown and gold, like a fall leaf clinging to a branch. "Edward never has."

"Bells might look a little small, but she can handle herself," Emmett said as his big hand settled on my shoulder. He'd forgiven me for my win in our fight and we'd been getting along much better since then, especially since the teasing had slacked off.

Kate giggled and covered her mouth with both hands. "She's beaten Emmett."

"Only because she's a newbie," Emmett grumbled.

"I doubt that," Tanya said as she smiled at me. Her fingers reached out and gripped my chin lightly, tilting my face up. "She has a light in her eyes that shines with fierceness and determination." She released me and smiled at Emmett. "Whatever strength she loses as she ages will be replaced by cunning. She will be as formidable an opponent for you as Edward has always been."

"That's because he cheats and listens," Emmett replied. "If he'd turn it off for just one second—"

Edward's heavy sigh interrupted Emmett. "Again, it does _not_ turn of, Em."

"Excuses, excuses," Emmett said with a wave of his big hand.

"So how are you enjoying the new house, Esme?" Tanya asked as we all moved to sit on the oversized sofas and chairs that faced the long wooden coffee table between them.

"I'm growing fonder of it every second," Esme replied with a happy smile. "Now that we've had time to adjust and settle in, you all must come visit and see it."

"We would love to. Let us know the date and we will be there," Kate said.

"Why not just return with us after the camping expedition?" Carlisle suggested. "I have a few more days off from the hospital so it would be perfect timing."

'_Is this why we moved back to our own room last night?_' I questioned Edward with my thoughts.

His eyes moved just enough to answer affirmatively.

'_So it really wasn't because I'm ready?_' I couldn't believe how sad I felt about that.

His breath and lips tickled the edge of my ear. "It was both, Bella."

'_Don't just say that for my feelings._'

"I'm not. You've shown great progress these past few days."

'_Why didn't you mention both reasons?_'

"You haven't exactly been the most receptive in regards to this aspect. I hope being here is helping with that."

'_They do seem nice._' I wasn't ready to share my worries about the way Irina's eyes made my skin prickle. Edward would just consider it acting silly unless I could properly explain why I felt that way.

"They are nice," he promised, kissing the side of my head.

"That is so odd," Kate announced, drawing our attention to her.

Edward chuckled and nodded at whatever thoughts he could hear.

"Really?" Kate asked, her eyes growing wide.

"Really," he said, still laughing a little.

"Tell the rest of us," Emmett called out.

"The last time we were with Edward, he was so sullen and troubled. He flinched from any kind of contact, even a hand on his shoulder. Now he sits here with a smile on his face and tenderness for Bella pouring off of him," Kate explained.

"I knew it was a female when he showed up here," Tanya said. "Though he refused to tell us anything about her or why he was so troubled."

"Tanya took it so well and so maturely that she buried me in a drift of snow," Edward said, squeezing me against his side. It was so weird to have him talking about what he'd done here during that first week he'd disappeared and I realized that his silence had been because of my behavior, not because of any amorous feelings toward Tanya. My typically human jealous behavior had silenced him and he'd been too sweet to tell me it was my own fault.

"Sweet!" Emmett chimed. "That would have been a sight to see. But how did you get the drop on him?"

"I didn't," Tanya said with a laugh. "He was so morose that he simply refused to move. I had to dig him out."

I looked up at Edward for confirmation and he only shrugged. And then he leaned his head down, putting his lips near my ear again. "It didn't matter if I was looking at the sky or blanketed with snow. You were all I could see."

I could only smile and wonder how he always managed to say the most perfect things.

* * *

"Bella, pull that side tight," Edward instructed as I helped him to setup our tent. We were setting them up in a large circle around the roaring bonfire Emmett was gleefully tending.

"Eddie, are you going to let Bells dance naked around the fire with us?" Em said in his booming voice.

I looked toward Edward and he shook his head. "He's lying. We don't do that."

I certainly couldn't picture Edward doing anything like that, but the Denali sisters were a different story. I could easily picture them in belly dancer outfits with snakes wrapped around their shoulders while they gyrated and turned the minds of men to mush.

"Do you really believe she's gullible enough to fall for that?" Kate asked as she joined Emmett near the fire.

"Nope," Emmett replied, winking my way. "But it's fun to see how they both react. Bells usually does that head dip thing that replaced her human blush while Eddie gets angry and ends up wrestling me. It's about the only time I can pry him away from her these days."

Edward just shook his head and smiled up at me. "Having fun?"

"A lot," I answered honestly.

"Just wait until we head over to climb the mountains and play in the snow," Alice trilled excitedly.

"With so many of us around, you'll be able to run without holding my hand," Edward said, standing and looking over our tent. He'd set it up perfectly, of course.

I took both of his hands into mine and smiled up at him. "But I like holding your hand when I run."

"Then you're welcome to hold it," he replied, lowering his lips to mine for a quick kiss.

"We should do teams!" Alice squealed. "Piggyback teams."

"Now that Edward has a mate, the teams are no longer even," Kate announced.

"They would be if her pets hadn't attacked Laurent," Irina grumbled.

"Irina," Tanya snapped, her accent sounding impossibly thick.

"Irina, I'm not sure what idea you may have about the circumstances of his death, but I assure you it was done in self defense," Carlisle said. He'd moved to stand between Irina and me and I had to lean to the right to see her face.

"So _she_ says," Irina replied, tilting her chin my way.

"My daughter is not a liar." Carlisle's tone was stern and solid. Seeing and hearing him take up for me this way filled me with so much warmth and happiness that I felt the urge to cry.

"She knows that already," Edward announced, moving next to Carlisle and practically in front of me.

"Stay out of my head, Edward," Irina said with a growl. "This does not involve you."

"Everything about Bella involves me," he replied, doing some growling of his own. "You should be thankful the wolves gave him a quick death because I certainly would not have done the same."

"Let's not let a nomad come between friends," Tanya said, moving between Edward and Irina. "He would not have stayed around long, Sister. You know this. He had no interest in our vegetarian ways."

"Can I say something?" I asked, suddenly myself stared at by all four in front of me. I could feel everyone else staring as well, but they were thankfully out of my line of sight; I felt nervous enough already.

"Please do," Tanya encouraged with a friendly smile.

I twisted my fingers for a moment before parting my lips and speaking. "I'm sorry for causing upheaval in your lives and in your friendships. I've certainly caused more than enough for Edward and the rest of the Cullen family. But I never intended any trouble or hurt to anyone. I only wanted to be with Edward."

"Any trouble she caused, she made up for when she saved our brother," Rose said as her arm encircled my shoulder. "She's a pain in the ass most times, but she usually doesn't mean it and she really does love Edward."

"Thanks. I think," I said, putting my hand over hers.

"Irina, stop being a bitch of a vamp and let's go play," Kate said, tugging at her sister's arm. "You know not a single Cullen would ever lie to us, just as you know Laurent held more loyalty to Victoria than he did for you. That's really what you've been angry about this whole time and you know it."

Irina allowed Kate to tug her away—she didn't seem any more or less angry than before and I wondered how the next few days would go if she really did decide to continue holding a grudge against me.

"Do not worry about my sister," Tanya said, setting a hand on my shoulder. "She enjoys creating tension and excitement. She will not harm you or hold any animosity toward you, Bella. You are as much of a friend to us as the rest of the Cullen family."

"Don't sweat it, Bells. If Irina wants a good fight, I've got one for her," Emmett called out, waving a flaming stick in his large hand.

"Stop that before you manage to set the tents on fire," Rose demanded, leaving my side to deal with her husband.

"If we leave now, we'll get to the mountain top just as the sun starts to set," Alice announced.

"Bella, you will love the view," Esme said, linking her arm in mine. "I remember so clearly the first time Carlisle brought me to Denali. It seemed liked a dream to walk among so much white with the ground and trees covered and the clouds in the sky so low it seemed I could almost touch them."

I smiled at Esme and pressed my head to her shoulder. "That's exactly what I said to Edward earlier. It's so beautiful here that sometimes I can't picture myself living anywhere else."

"I once thought the same. But it's not the scenery or the home we stay in that makes it such a beautiful experience. It's the loving family that travels with us to each and every place. Oh! Wait until we get to London and you see the way the fog rolls across the grounds in the early morning hours."

"London? Really?" I questioned, trying hard not to get too excited.

"We won't live in the actual city. It's far too busy for that. But we will be within an hour or two of it," Edward said, falling in step beside me while Carlisle appeared at Esme's side.

"Where else will we see?" I asked, looking up at my husband.

"Wherever your heart desires. Once you are in control of your body and your bloodlust, the world will be completely open to you."

I smiled and squeezed his hand, really liking the sound of that and already ticking of places to visit, both large and small. With and because of Edward, I would get to see things I'd only ever heard and dreamed about. The trials we had already faced and the sadness that would come as the years passed away with my human family members would never be able to equal the joy and love he had brought and would bring into my life and heart. I would spend every one of my many days doing my absolute best to give him those same feelings of happiness and love.

* * *

This is one of those great chapters when Bella makes a discovery about herself and the man she loves. I wasn't sure how this would go, but I think it turned out pretty well.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving with their loved ones. Hope you've all been able to see New Moon and enjoyed it.


	15. Forever

**It all belongs to SM. ** I am lucky to dabble with them.

**I dream about being with you forever …**

**Bella's POV:**

"I've got fifty on the Newbie," Emmett announced. We were all standing at the base of the mountain and looking up to where it disappeared into the gray storm clouds looming overhead.

"You're doubting your prowess?" Jasper questioned with a laugh and a smirk.

"Nah. I'm just not doubting Bella's extra oomph from her newbie status."

"I'll take that bet," Irina said. She was smirking too, but it wasn't humorous like Jasper's—it was cold as ice and as sharp as steel.

"Sorry, Irina. I have to go with Bella on this one. It's been years since you bothered to climb this mountain," Kate said, handing money over to Jasper.

"Shouldn't you guys bet on Edward?" I questioned. "He's faster than me."

"He's not racing," Emmett replied, reaching over and punching Edward in the shoulder. "Chicken."

"I'm choosing to be an observer this time," Edward said as he landed a gut punch to Emmett and zipped out of the way before the big guy could retaliate. The more Edward and I got used to my vampire status, the more Edward relaxed with everyone in the family. It was thrilling to see him roughhousing with his brothers this way; I didn't even care that I was smiling like a fool in front of Tanya.

Speaking of Tanya … She actually wasn't bad at all. She was very friendly and seemed to genuinely care for each of the Cullens. She also brought out a friendly side in Rosalie that even extended to me.

Edward's laughter caught my attention as he darted between Alice and Jasper to get out of Emmett's way. I caught up to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and leaning up to kiss his cheek. "Why aren't you racing?"

"This is the first time you get to move about freely and I want to watch you beat everyone to the top."

"You're sure that's safe, right?"

"Positive. There's no possibility of you catching a scent you couldn't ignore."

I leaned up to his ear and whispered as softly as I could. "Am I going to cream them?"

"Absolutely," he said with a laugh, hugging me tightly.

"You'll be up soon after, though, right?"

"Yes. We'll all be right behind the racers."

"Come on, Bells!" Emmett called out, waving one big paw at me. "Let's get this party started."

"No cheating, please," Esme said as I took my spot between Jasper and Irina.

"Sure, sure," Emmett replied with a grin that gave away his lie.

I chuckled and nudged Jasper with my elbow. "Good luck, Jazz."

"You ladies are lucky I'm too much of a gentleman to put him in your reach."

"We love you for it, too."

"Less talking, more getting ready to race," Emmett said. "Rosie, call it for us?"

"On three!" Rosalie called out. "One. Two … Three!"

Emmett technically took off before she got any further than the "th" sound in three, but it didn't do him as much good as he might have hoped. I caught up to him before we'd even made it two miles up and after that, I could only gauge his position by his curses.

Irina was a lot harder to get ahead of and she was playing much dirtier than Emmett ever had. Each and every chance she got to sling loose snow and rocks my way, she did. If she thought I would be that easily intimidated though, she was sorely out of luck. Not only did I keep going, but when I finally got a little ahead of her, I gave her a face full of snow, rock, and a little boot. I hadn't actually meant to catch her with my shoe, but sometimes things just happen in the right way.

I was the first to reach the summit with Irina only seconds behind me. I stood ready to fight, just like I'd been taught, keeping my eyes on Irina while she circled me and smirked.

"You are much tougher than I first thought," she finally said as she stopped moving.

My brothers finally made it to where we were, both of them looking warily between Irina and me.

"Bells?" Em questioned.

"No need to worry for her," Irina said. "She will do just fine," she added, holding her hand out to me.

I was still a bit skeptical of her, but I wanted to be friends with Edward's friends so I reached out and shook her hand. "Thanks, Irina."

The second I let go of Irina's hand, Emmett moved in, attempting to squish me with his hug. "Thanks for the win, Bells."

"Put her down," Edward ordered from somewhere behind me.

"I was being nice," Emmett replied, setting me down and patting my head. "I made sure to bet on her, not against her."

I chuckled at him for maybe a second before it became a yelp from Edward picking me up and spinning me around. "What are you doing?" I asked through my laughter.

"I'm proud of you."

"It was just a little race."

"I meant Irina."

"Oh." I felt my nose scrunch up as I looked into his eyes. "Alice?"

"Alice," he confirmed with a smile.

My brain finally seemed to fully engage and notice my surroundings, leaving me in awe. It had been gray and cloudy down at the base of the mountain, but up here on the ridge too high for humans to reach, the sun was shining and everyone around me was sparkling and looking ethereal.

"Look at the clouds," Edward said as he turned me toward them. The clouds were actually below us, seeming to fill up the space between our ridge and the one about a mile across from us. It didn't even look like clouds—it looked like cotton balls all jammed together.

"This is so amazing, Edward. So beautiful."

"There's so much of the world for you to see."

I nodded in agreement as a thought popped into my head. "Do you remember when we danced together at Prom?"

"_I_ danced. _You_ stood on my feet."

"I didn't bring it up for the dancing part. I was thinking more about how you asked if I dreamed of being a monster. I told you that I dreamed of being with you forever. _This_, right here and now, is so much more than I ever dreamed of, Edward. I'm so thankful to you for marrying me and making me yours. I know I didn't make it easy and I'm sorry for all the ways I made things harder for you. I never meant to do anything but love you forever."

Edward tightened his hold on me and brushed a kiss against the shell of my ear. "It's only the beginning, Love."

* * *

Readers, we have reached the end. Edward and Bella thanked me for the use of my laptop, Emmett bumped fists with me and left a bruise, and Alice has finished making over my apartment. Our favorite family is off to enjoy the world and show Bella sights she's never seen. I hope you all enjoyed this small glimpse into their happily ever after as much as I did writing it. Thanks for reading!!


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